MIL picks up my DS from moses basket/pram etc without asking or telling me...

[Essie3]

AIBU? This really gets to me. I turn my back for a minute and she's got him out of his pram (sleeping or not!). He's 7 weeks old. This makes me so upset. My own mother asks me if she can pick him up. I just feel it's a bit more respectful, but with my MIL, I feel like an accessory to the grandchild (and an annoying one to her at that!).
Is it my general annoyance at MIL's behaviour blowing things out of proportion? And any suggestions on how to deal with this? ['Get over it, Essie' ]

[Kewcumber]

my mum pisses me off mightily at times and I can;t say I feel OK to have a go at her about it because she's my mum and not my MIL. But then I thin kunless the situation is a serious one that these littel irritations can be dealt with by taking a deep breath and considering their side of things ie that she probably loves your DC's almost as much as you love them.

Now my father is a different matter entirely....

[gastronaught]

yeah but kew, you mam flew to the place I can't spell for you, I think your mam rocks.

[Kewcumber]

Kazakhstan

She does (mostly). Though we had our share of problme when we were cooped up togetehr in one room and she kept telling me what I was doing wrong!

[greenlawn]

My mil is an extremely unpleasant woman - and I put up with her just because of who she is. If yours is merely annoying, then great - but don't assume we all have mils who are merely annoying.

I have major issues with my mil, mostly stemming from the fact that she is a very cold and uncaring woman. On one occasion I told dh I really thought I could have nothing more to do with her. One of my twin babies had died as 32 weeks, the other I was told would be severely brain damaged, and all she could say was (1) is it too late to "get rid" of the other one? and (2) are you keeping the house clean and tidy?

I've come to terms with the way she is, and can tolerate her even if I don't like her as a person - but she is universally acknowledged within her own family as being toxic and controlling. My poor dh had a terrible childhood - his mother was emotionally neglectful and spiteful. Naturally he wants better for his own children.

So perhaps you will excuse me venting on mumsnet - frankly I find it healthy. I can pretend my mil is "a bit annoying" and "a bit weird", count to ten, and try to still have a relationship with the woman.

And as for picking babies up when they are asleep - yes, I did intervene when she picked mine up asleep and jiggled them violently on her knee, leading to distressed crying all round. For me however experience has shown that she loses interest once babies reach 2 or 3 and become in her words "difficult".

Unlike my own lovely mum who would throw herself in front of a bus for her grandchildren, who loves them unconditionally, and who can still be blummin annoying - but puts my children first.

[Mine]

Greenlawn you don;t have a mother-in-law..... it seems you have the ultimate monster-in-law