My mil is an extremely unpleasant woman - and I put up with her just because of who she is. If yours is merely annoying, then great - but don't assume we all have mils who are merely annoying.
I have major issues with my mil, mostly stemming from the fact that she is a very cold and uncaring woman. On one occasion I told dh I really thought I could have nothing more to do with her. One of my twin babies had died as 32 weeks, the other I was told would be severely brain damaged, and all she could say was (1) is it too late to "get rid" of the other one? and (2) are you keeping the house clean and tidy?
I've come to terms with the way she is, and can tolerate her even if I don't like her as a person - but she is universally acknowledged within her own family as being toxic and controlling. My poor dh had a terrible childhood - his mother was emotionally neglectful and spiteful. Naturally he wants better for his own children.
So perhaps you will excuse me venting on mumsnet - frankly I find it healthy. I can pretend my mil is "a bit annoying" and "a bit weird", count to ten, and try to still have a relationship with the woman.
And as for picking babies up when they are asleep - yes, I did intervene when she picked mine up asleep and jiggled them violently on her knee, leading to distressed crying all round. For me however experience has shown that she loses interest once babies reach 2 or 3 and become in her words "difficult".
Unlike my own lovely mum who would throw herself in front of a bus for her grandchildren, who loves them unconditionally, and who can still be blummin annoying - but puts my children first.