Or just nuts to consider taking two month old to East Africa? (long)

[LadyThompson]

Ok, should say first that I know nothing much about babies yet and I'm falling on your mercy, and want your honest advice. Please note - at the moment I am tending more to the notion of not going!

Having my first child last week in Nov this year. Have the opportunity to go to a country in East Africa (a stable one) in early Feb - a good friend is a diplomat there, and a sports team I run is going out there as he is hosting a tour for us.

I would stay with my diplomat friend and his wife in their house, and not with the rest of the team, though I would of course see them. The area is not malarial (you only need malarial tabs if you go up country, which I wouldn't be doing). Further point is I would have to go alone - DP sadly working away from home in the week between January and March.

I envisage just having a lovely rest in a beautiful country with my new baby, and seeing a bit of my much loved friends too, but is it all too much/too risky to subject a little baby to (ie a long haul flight?) and too much pressure to put on myself not too long after the birth (which is going to be a CS?) Am I being hopelessly naive in thinking I could carry all the stuff we'd need for a week myself? If there is the least chance I am putting my baby in jeopardy I won't go, though I will of course also be seeking medical advice and won't decide until last minute.

[MrsBadger]

oh and do everything you can to get a direct flight
transit is no fun at the best of times, let alone with a baby

(we were on a cattle-class charter to Egypt with dd on my lap the whole way and managed ok - I did have to eat my lunch off dh's table though)

[MrsBumblebee]

You really want an honest answer? If it were me, I wouldn't dream of going. I really don't want to sound negative, but you just don't know how you're going to feel until after the baby arrives. You might have a quick recovery and a wonderfully placid baby who sleeps for 16 hours a day and is happy to be plonked down anywhere - lots of people do. My experience, though, was like being hit by a truck - difficult birth, nightmares with breastfeeding (including repeated mastitis requiring antibiotics) and a baby who slept for about 8 hours a day (rarely at night) and screamed pretty much constantly the rest of the time. Frankly, a trip abroad at that time would have finished me off.

I really hope you don't mind me sounding so negative - it's just that nobody told me before the birth what the first couple of months with a baby could be like (I reiterate - it's not like that for everyone!), and I really wish they had. Is there any way you can decide whether to go or not at the last minute, once the baby's arrived?

BTW, it did get better - DS is now 9 months old and life is wonderful .

[LadyThompson]

Katebee, I think you are right - baby aside, I think I have to see how I am feeling physically (and I guess mentally) and only book flight last minute.

Yes, house very large and airconditioned and we'd be at the end of a corridor.

Driving - I wouldn't drive myself, but might be driven places. Hmm, the roads can be bumpy. I guess I would have to take a car seat with me. Don't know how this would work.

All my friends, both the ones I would be staying with and also the team, would be happy for me to potter or do anything I liked.

[MrsBadger]

borrow a carseat when you get there, or, if you feel you have to take one, stick it on a chassis and check it as a pushchair.

[nailpolish]

i ddint mean to put a downer on it

i wouldnt have gone with dd1
but i would have with dd2 - she was a dream baby

[VictorianSqualor]

I have a 14week old DS.
If I were able to go stay in a beautiful hot country with friends and my baby (and didn't have two older children to look after) I'd do it.
Two months after a CS is IME(I've had 3) normally back to relative normality.

Get a sling, a lot of muslins and some rompers and off you go. You wouldn't need much clothes wise, rompers would be great and I'd try really extra hard with the BFing as it would make it all so much easier.

[LadyThompson]

MrsBumblebee, I don't mind you being negative at all - it's all useful/interesting - I actually want people's honest opinions! All this is so new to me and I have NO experience of life with a newborn, let alone longhaul travel with one when I am recovering from abdominal surgery so all thoughts from those with experience very gratefully received. I guess I just wanted to know whether I should stop thinking about it now and completely forget it because it would endanger my child, or whether I could see how I felt six weeks or so after the birth.

[hattyyellow]

I think it sounds amazing. It's not as if you'd be doing jungle treks, from the sounds of it if things were difficult you'd have loads of support from the local ex-pat community, could borrow lots of stuff and would have space to chill out with the baby by yourself if you felt you needed some time out.

As you've said innoculations would need to be considered etc.

It's very tiring going away with a baby but it's also really tiring getting cabin fever at home with a baby! At least you'll be with friends, staying somewhere nice and hopefully being spoilt a little by the people you're staying with, rather than trying to cook at home with the baby on your hip mid-Uk-winter!

The baby would probably sleep most of the flight. If not, you just walk them up and down for hours and collapse when you get there. Stewardesses are always pretty helpful with babies on flights.

Easier with a 3 month old than a toddler or crawling babe.

[silverfrog]

My dd1 was born in nairobi while we were out there on a diplomatic tour. She survived very well

Funnily enough, we did the journey in reverse when she was a lttle older, as we came back to the UK when she was 4 monthsold.

I owuld double check temperatures etc. February was brutally hot and humid in Nairobi, and the only time I went ot Tanzania (I htink it was in Sept, but not sure) it was humid and sticky too. Depends on how you are in the heat htough (I am Not Good).

On the plus side, as you say, there will be an Ayah who will be overjoyed at helping, and there will probably be much of what you need available in shops - if ot in the local shops (although I got most of what I needed easily enough) then in the diplomats shops which your friend can access.

I do agree that the hardest part will be the travelling (as in passports/documents/etc rather than because of your baby), but you could possibly travel out with the sports team and have some help that way? There does seem to be a lot of stuff that travels with a baby (even a breastfed one), as the flight is quite long so multiple nappies/clothes (just in case) may be needed.

I was up to travelling by 2 months post CS, but that would be another potential problem.

travel cot wise I would suggest a samsonite pop up bubble cot - is incredibly light and easy to take (either as hand luggage if you have enough hands, or in a suitcase) and has the bonus of being enclosed so no mosquito nets needed (i know you are going to a non malarial area, but there are lots of bitey things about) - I was forever stepping on the mosi net on dd's cot and pulling it down etc!

sounds like a lovely break opportunity, I'd do it!

[LadyThompson]

Thanks Silver. Yes, I would try to travel with the team. It may be pretty hot in Feb...I'm good in the heat but it's not me I'm worried about! Great tip about the Samsonite bubble cot.

[LadyThompson]

Thanks Silver. Yes, I would try to travel with the team. It may be pretty hot in Feb...I'm good in the heat but it's not me I'm worried about! Great tip about the Samsonite bubble cot.

[silverfrog]

dd1 was fine in the house - was lovely and cool. She was the cheapest baby in the world though - truly, apart from car seat and bouncy chair, I seem to recall that we bought her 2 packets of vests and some nappies!

I was very worried about dehydration etc (in hindsight, I don't know why - was bf on demand etc etc - pfb moments I guess) but dd was ok. She did get a little uncomfy in the heat occasionally, esp overnight, but then nights aren't exactly plain sailing with a newborn anyway . A feed mostly sorted her out.

Good luck with it all - hope you get to do whatever you decide

[MmeLindt]

I was going to suggest the Samsonite Bubble cot, but I see Silver has beaten me to it. We had the larger one, and it was great.

I would go for it, providing you have recovered well from the cs.

I had DS by emergency cs in July and travelled alone to UK from Germany end of October, with DD 2.5yo. DS was a dream, put him in his sling to travel, he slept all the way. DD was much more trouble

I felt that I took ages to recover from the cs, mainly as it was completely unexpected, but even after 8 weeks I was almost back to normal.

Use a light suitcase and take only the essentials, get your friends to stock up on toilettries for you. I asked complete strangers on the flight to take my cases off the luggage belt, most people are eager to help when they see a young mum travelling alone.

If you can, get a seat next to an old lady. My mum is always chuffed if she has a toddler/baby to occupy on a flight.

[MrsBadger]

oh and remember the baby will need a passport

Even if you're not sure you're going apply for it in really good time - I left it so late I had to do a trip to the passport office in London with DD the week before we went and tbh that was the worst bit of the whole thing.

(IME the easiest way to take the pic is to hold dd out on your arm, with her head in your hand, over the whitesheeted bed and make DH stand on a chair and point the camera down)

[wannaBe]

my mum emigrated to Zambia with a 3 year old and a 6 week old baby (me) and she did the flying, the carrying of the luggage, the changing planes in african air ports all on her own as my dad had gone out there to work 6 weeks before I was born and that was 34 years ago, long, long before customer service was at the level it is now, and she was bottle feeding me.

She talks of the experience as having been a nightmare, but at the time she just did it because she had to and she was absolutely fine.

I would go for it.

Your baby will cry whether you are here or in darkest Africa.

Have fun.

[MrsTicklemouse]

Have not read thread just OP but, I was born by CS in Kenya and flew with my mum back to the UK to visit family at 7 weeks old and i survived!!!

[littlestarschildminding]

Personally at 8 weeks after either of my cs I wasn't fit to be going on a long haul holiday. I couldn't carry anything heavy, especially by myself. I still couldn't sit or lay particularly comfortably and my scar was still quite open and weepy on both occassions. I really would have been too terrifed of infection/ relapse to risk travelling across the world...Im an exp traveller and have been to africa many times (and with the kids in tow too). You also need to be very careful with insurance as most travel insurance will not cover you for a pre existing condition or a condition that had been aggravated by a pre existing condition...

On the other hand some people heal easily and quickly and would be fine!

Only you can make the decision

[Hecate]

Go. Have fun! Baby will be fine (millions live there and they are! ) just be aware of heat and make sure provisions are ok etc.

More concerned about YOU post CS. owie!

[LadyThompson]

Thanks littlestars. Yes...CS recovery sounds like a COMPLETE lottery so it really will be a case of wait and see. If all the flights are gone by then, it's tough luck. And DP is now telling me he would worry to death about the pair of us if I went...after initially saying it was probably ok. Ho hum, and thanks to everyone for all your excellent advice.

[pooka]

Passport photo wise, at the hospital I was in a woman came round and did newborn photos to passport standard if you wanted.

[LadyThompson]

Ooh, which hospital?

[MrsMattie]

I'd play it by ear. It could be just the relaxing break you envisage. Or it could be the last thing on God's earth you feel like doing 2 months after giving birth. You won't know until you've had your baby.

[moopymoo]

yep absolutely depends on your baby and your recovery. With ds1 I could happily have done it, ds2, I couldnt even make it to the shops at 2months (well probably could , but that was a huge undertaking.) see how you get on.