to utterly loathe getting 'thank you' cards...

[thumbsucker]

My relationship with my sister in law has never been fantastic but i recently sent her a lovely birthday present - a necklace which I carefully chose and sent on time (!) after a week I heard nothing so I phoned my brother. he checked with her and called back to say she had got it and loved it and that a thank you card would be in the post. This makes me livid! I am not some distant auntie and we are not living in the effing dark ages. Why oh why is she not capable of picking up the phone (yes, she has a mobile) and just saying thanks? Even if she doesn't like it, some kind of acknowledgement would have been nice.

[littlewoman]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. My DD and MIL don't have a very good relationship since XH left. MIL sent DD a birthday card & money late. DD didn't want to pick up the phone to her nan because she doesn't like her, so she sent a card instead. So thank you cards can be a way of remaining aloof from the sender, which I think is your concern - after you spent a lot of time and effort choosing her present, TS.

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

I get really pee-ed of that so few people say thank you any more. Real bugbear of mine!

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

Errr are you serious?? I [prefer thank you cards to a phone call as it takes much more effort.

[jubbie]

Have always loathed thankyou cards. Nasty and superficial, particularly so now they often come printed and word processed. I always think that the purpose is for the sender to feel that they have good manners more than anything to do with pleasure at the gift you have given.

[goodasgold]

lol at Rhubharb.
Ta muchly.

[thumbsucker]

ok, I too, can be a little old fashioned about certain things in life (like texting words out in full) but (oh this thread is now a bit too long to go back and it's late) someone hit the nail on the head with the fact that they just stink of obligation. especially when they are a case of filling in the blanks and NO, I HAVEN'T RECEIVED THE BLOODY THING YET (her birthday was two weeks ago).

[expatinscotland]

i send pals cards, too.

just cuz.

one of my good friends here finally left her dead marriage and just moved to her own place in edinburgh.

sent her a wee note and a LUSH lip balm because that's one of her fav shops and she's quite skint now she's just got her one income.

[arrrrggggghhhhhhhh]

yes, big OMG will write properly tomorrorw but must go to bed now. Poor DD though bless her (DS VERY taken, not sure if he will be so much so if he has nits!)

Away to my bed, laters, kiss kiss

[expatinscotland]

my girls have cute colour in blank cards that they use as thank yous. until they're old enough to write their own, they can colour in.

they enjoy it!

i hope folks who've given them a gift enjoy it.

are you a stationary hater, OP?

cuz i loves it and any excuse i get to make cards, send them out, etc i likes!

so ner ner ner.

[RegenerAitch]

have you read my brush with death story yet, btw?

[RegenerAitch]

to which i say 'aaaaaaargh'. no, kids sending notes is charmant.

i know someone, not you natch, who comes round for a coffee and then sends a frigging thankyou note. upshot is she doesn't get invited back as that sort of behaviour makes a scotwoman's toes curl (she is a jock but thinks is a cut above). i wonder if it's the same kind of root as i said in that email to you earlier? cultural cringe.

[eidsvold]

i think this is way more about your SIL than a thank you card. I love getting thank yous in the post rather than a quick call or email. It shows the person has gone to an effort and makes me feel appreciated.

[arrrrggggghhhhhhhh]

It takes 2 seconds to dash off an email. I make an effort to buy nice paper and stationery, to write something that conveys to the person who has gone to the trouble of buying me a gift that I can make an effort, just as they have done. If that makes me la di da, then so be it.

Which reminds me, Aitch - note in the post from DS to your DD

[arrrrggggghhhhhhhh]

Some of us write thank you cards because that is how we show our thanks, not because we are "uppity" or la di da, you might want to take that bag of chips off your shoulder

[RegenerAitch]

exactly, stitch. so nice to get an email saying thanks, which then opens up a wee conversation.

[stitch]

lol, i think phone call, email or text are all much much more personal than a thank you card sent through the post.
the electronic media means that the person is actually intereste d in thanking someone. the uppity thank you card is more interested in showing off how laaa dee daa a person aspires to be.

[RegenerAitch]

aye, and wannabe, stitch.

[RegenerAitch]

i loathe them. loathe sending them more, it's a colossal chore and i resent the time if i've actually said thanks in person at the time.

i hand presents over (particularly new baby ones) with an exhortation not to send a card. i'd much rather an email or phone call, because, well, it's less formal and stilted.

[stitch]

i personally prefer getting a phone call, or an email, or even a text.
thank you cards are very 'wannabe' in my opinion.
hate them, never send them. dislike reciving them

[MrsMacaroon]

god, i feel bad now for just not being bothered about them... when i get them i can practically smell the stench of obligation.

[arrrrggggghhhhhhhh]

My MIL sent us a beautiful, thoughtfully written card to say thank you for her birthday gift. It was lovely to receive. Phone calls are for oiks ungrateful people.

[greenelizabeth]

I quite often send good friends cards.

You can't put up a text message can you!

[biscuitsmustbedunkedintea]

MIL has just sent us (yes her own son!) a thank you card for her birthday present. Despite seeing us umpteen times since her birthday!

YANBU, she should have called

[Rhubarb]

Ta.

[naswm]

I think thank you cards are great. your annoyance here is more about your SIL than the card.

I send thank you cards. Sometimes it takes me a while to do them, but I do. Sometimes I speak to people before I have done them or posted them, but I still send them. Sometimes, like this week, I carry them around in my bag waiting to post them (which irritates me every evening when I see that I have forgotten to post them yet again!)

in this day of text and email a thank you card goes a long way imo