siblings sharing a bedroom

[Jo15]

My husband and I are very keen to have a third child and the only thing that is holding me back is space. We live in a 3 bed house and currently dd1 (age 5) and dd2 (age 2)have their own rooms and all works well. If we had another baby dd1 and dd2 would have to share a bedroom - and all rooms are on the small side. We have the potential to build an extension to give us a fourth bedroom but unfortunately I cannot imagine a time when we will have the funds available to actually build it. I would be grateful for any advice on siblings sharing and whether it would be okay as they get older if we cannot build the extension. Would I be too selfish to go ahead and try for a third and not put the needs of the two children I already have first?

[GreenPetal94]

My two boys share who are 8 and nearly 10. Recently we went to look at a flat to buy and they asked why. We said so you can have separate bedrooms and they were very against that idea. So that saved us quite a few thousand!

They have shared since ds2 was about 6 months and I think it helped him to settle and sleep through as this happened around the time he started sharing with big brother.

[crokky]

I would put your DDs in together & see how it goes. Even if you get pg right now, No. 1 (let's say) might go to uni at 18 and No. 3 will still be only 12. No. 3 will have all teenage yrs in own room.

[mrsleroyjethrogibbs]

our dd(5) has shared with ds(nearly 3) since he was 12weeks old. They love it tbh and get on well.

[vixma]

My parents was the same, when my little sister was born she later moved in with my other younger sister. As adults now (they did fight alot when growing up) are really close, closer than to me as I had my own room. No problems really and we all have a 3 year gap between our ages.

[kitty4paws]

I have 4 dc in a small 3 bed house,

we "split" the largest room into two with some creative use of Ikea shelving ( floor to ceiling) and by boxing in a pair of bunk beds so in one "room" it looks like a cabin bed (DD) and in the other room DS sleeps in the bottom bunk but the top bunk is boxed off.

A bit tricky to describe but saved a load of space and they eldest two each have their own "space" but are stil in the same room as they don't wnat to be split up (DS 9, DD 7)

The younger two just share (DS 5, ds3)

works great for us and has saved moving

[clutteredup]

DS 7 and DD1 4 share a room, when DD2 s a bit bigger we plan to put her in with DD1 but at the moment think it would be a problem as DS and DD1 love sharing. Just waiting till DS wants his own space and hope it pans out nicely, otherwise will probsably end up with all 3i n the same room with the other as as roome for all their stuff!

[chefswife]

i thankfully never had to share a room. i was 6 1/2 when sister was born but we had moved to a three bedroom by then. then the second sister was born just less than a year later. they shared. i've always been grateful that i had my own room because the age difference would have made things difficult. i think if they are close in age it's fine. as the baby sleeps with mom and dad for the first little while, it's a great time for the adjustment period for the sibling that will need to share. maybe get their input as well if they are old enough to understand the change of their circumstances.

[kritur]

I shared a room with my sister until I moved out aged 18. We always shared even when we lived in a 3 bed house and when we moved my mum got a 2 bed in a better area. We did divide the room up the middle though when we were teenagers.

[buzzcocks]

My brother was born when I was 8, and then db2 was born when I was 16. I shared with db1and db2 until I left home at 18 (they were 10 and 2) we were fine. But it was a different generation.

[youngbutnotdumb]

My DB was born when I was 8 and from then until I was 16 didn't bother either of us although some of my friends thought it was strange.

[duchesse]

My daughters (11 and 13) still a lot of the time by choice, even though they each have their own room. They very frequently bunk up together or drag a mattress into the other's room. It's really sweet. I don't know if they'll still like each other's company this much if they had to share though. The times they have had to share (due to having long term house guests), they have marked out a border using elephant tape on the carpet (her side/ my side. Any mess created by one simply got thrown to the owner's side. It seemed to work for 6 months.

[TsarChasm]

My dt's are 6 and have always shared a room.

As they are boy and girl I can foresee a time when they will want/need separate rooms and maybe (prays hard) we will be able to facillitate that by then.

Mind you, I have to say so far they love being together. I think if I gave them their own room each today they would actually be sad to split up.

My older dd who does have her own room often bemoans the fact that 'I am on my own and they have more fun' and 'can I sleep in with them' You can't win can you!

[Bronze]

I love the idea if you have space for each to have a bedroom of putting them in to share then giving them a playroom. Later on they can then have their own rooms if they want. Shame I don't have the space. Also like the no touch shelf. My implement that here. Thanks

[ChirpyGirl]

I don't think there is a problem with the sharing, if the older2 are happyto then either way round is fine.
I shared with my sisters, myparents built a house with the spareroom when I was littlebut I stillshared with my 2 of my older sisters.Wehad wide bookcases dividing the spaceand usedto pull books out and talk!
When wemoved I regularlyused togo into one my sisters rooms with my little bro and sleep on her floor.

[sunnydelight]

DS2 was 4 1/2 when DD was born and they shared for three years. I gave them the biggest room and put a moveable screen down the middle which gave them each just as much space as their brother had in the smallest bedroom. We took the second biggest room which was fine - I don't think adults need a bedroom other than a space to sleep tbh. DS1 is 5 1/2 years older than his brother and was used to his own space, so I didn't think that getting him to share for the first time age 9 would work. If the age/gender thing had been different I would have no problem getting kids to share long term - I did with my sister until I was 16.

[PInkyminkyohnooo]

I'm finding all this very reassuring- my sister HATED having to share with me.

[buzzcocks]

My sister and I shared a bedroom until we were 12, then we moved in to a three bedroom house. had trouble sleeping on my own, in fact I had trouble sleeping in the big room. it worked for us.

[magicfarawaytree]

all three of mine 6 5 nd nearly 4 share a room even though they could all have a good sized bedroom of their own. The reason for it is, I hope, it will promote bonding between them. That time between sleep and being out to bed i remember fondly from my own childhood. also we want to make a big deal of it when they finally get their own rooms. its not for everyone but that how it works for us.

[PInkyminkyohnooo]

We will be having another baby in november, and he/she will share with our youngest (DD) regardless of gender.

Our eldest is only 3 so not a big age gap between them, so if we have a boy we may put them in the bigger room a few yeasr down the line.

We do have large attic but that's my studio and I really don't want to give it up! Maybe when we have 3 teenagers DH and I will escape up there!

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

pretty much what others have said- my 2 dds share a room and seem to like it, I feel happy that they always know there is someone else there when they wake up in the night. I was an only child and I would have loved someone to share and giggle with. I'm sure they will want their own space when they are older, but until then all their mess can stay in one room!

[Elkat]

My two DDs share a room. We could let them have seperate bedrooms, but choose to put them together and they love it. They get up and play together in the morning, and my youngest (1.5) won't go to sleep unless her big sister (4.5) is there. They absolutely adore each other and I'm sure sharing a room contributes to that. So no, I have no hesitations in doing that. The only thing I would say is to make sure that you have got a plan for when they will need their own space (the teenage years), whether that is an extension, attic conversion or garage conversion, I think it is important for kids to have their own space in the teenage years, but until then it is nice for them to share, even preferable in my situation!

[4andnotout]

We have 3 dd's (6,3 9 months) and another dd due in October, dd's 1&2 share a large bedroom and when dd4 is old enough to go into a room without us she will share with dd3. DD3's bedroom is the box room but tbh they only sleep in their rooms they rarely play in there, they play downstairs in the living room.

[IlanaK]

I am in a three bed flat. My two boys (aged 4 and almost 7) share a room and have done for about 2 years now. They love it. I am about to have ds number 3 and they are really disappointed that the baby will not be sharing their room!

Personally, as we have the space, I don't like the idea of having a baby in with the older ones - too disruptive. But once they are old enough to be sleeping reliably and staying in their own bed, then I think its great for them to share.

I have already said to oldest ds that one day he might like to have the smaller room all to himself and ds2 and ds3 would share, but he is not at all keen on this idea and wants all three of them in together!

We also do the sharing of toys thing. They do have some of their own personal posessions and they keep special things in cloth pockets that hang over the sides of their bunk bed. But overall, I have insisted from the start that they share toys and this has worked well.

[pointydog]

ach, go ahead. They'll just have to get used to it, so they will