Tell me, am I being silly by being taken aback by the terminology in these two emails?

[ghosty]

This is a bit long winded but bear with me:

We still own our house in NZ and currently have tenants in.
At the moment there is a drainage issue and after a camera going down the sewer it seems that the drain is damaged by tree roots under next door's property. We need to get it fixed and need to ask the neighbours for permission to carry out the work and also see if they will be happy to contribute to the cost.
The problem is that on the next door's property there are 4 houses and we weren't clear as to under which house the problem lies so we have beeing to-ing and fro-ing via email with the agent and tenant to find the marker left by the drainage company who put the camera down the drain so that DH and I can approach the neighbours ourselves.
ANYHOO - it is all very tedious and the agent has been faffing like a trouper .... [yawn]

But then I got two emails today - one from the tenant and one from the agent. I don't know what to think about the terminology they have used but I am very taken aback ... and the issue here is nothing to do with the drainage problem. What do you think? (I copied and pasted by the way so the emails are word for word)

1. Email A: From the tenant
   Hi there
   
   It seems that the marker Jane and I were looking at is the boundary marker, rather than problem drain area.
   
   However, looking further this morning I notice a rust coloured marker IN the garden of the Asian?s house (front garden).
   
   
2. Email B: From the agent
   
   Hi 'ghosty',
   
   I've just had an e-mail from S, saying that the marker falls within the Asian's property - hope that clarifies things.
   
   Am I being silly thinking that clarifying my neighbours as 'The Asian' is at best a bit odd and at worst totally out of order? Wouldn't 'The people at 56C' or something like that be more appropriate?
   Does it matter? I feel it does ...
   Thoughts ...?

[onager]

Perhaps I can halve the discomfort by suggesting that the agent simply used the term that the tenant used to avoid confusion. It's essentially a quote.
For that matter the agent might not have even known the house number without going to look in the file, but assumed you would know who the tenent meant.

Not that I think it's racist to refer to a frenchman as a frenchman.

[pamelat]

oops, I didn't realise either.

[mayorquimby]

i think yabu. i'm assuming that they are the only asians on the complex otherwise it would be a pretty stupid way to differentiate them.
they said nothing derogatory i.e the stupid/smelly/whatever insult asian.
they simply said "the asian" with absolutely no stereotype or racist connotation attached.

[MrsJohnCusack]

it was BLU
I didn't even notice

[pamelat]

Its odd.

My DH's ex girlfriend is a New Zealander and when she came over here she could not believe how diverse the UK is. She used words that we would consider politically incorrect.

I think that the letter from the agents (at least) should be more professional than to say "the X". The agents should refer to house no or surname.

[SoupDragon]

I don't think it's offensive as such but I would have been taken aback too.

[SoupDragon]

I think it's bizarre to have referred to the owner rather than the property (ie 56C).

[lou031205]

Emails are often more curt and brief than a letter or phone conversation would be. Presumably the Asian family are the minority in the neighbourhood, so I think it is a valid descriptor to identify the boundary issue clearly.

Perhaps they thought that it would clarify where number 56 is rather than just giving a house number.

Even on my estate where I have lived for nearly 5 years, I would find it easier if someone described a house as "the one with the four children" or "the one with the single guy in it" or "the one with the Welsh family", because that is what makes them stand out.

I do feel that the Race card get pulled far too often & that people deem perfectly reasonable behaviours as racist.

I would happily be referred to as "The Brit", or even "The Limey" - it is only a word, not a damning label.

[MrsJohnCusack]

well apart from anything else, if it's a couple/family then the apostrophes are in the wrong place in both emails

I think it's weird (why not just say which house number?) and rude but it doesn't really suprise me

[Jeepney]

I couldn't see a problem with the emails at all and had to scroll down to see what the problem was. But then I am often referred to as the white person / british person / drunken lush so I don't think it is offensive at all.

[ethanchristopher]

are they not "hair pulled back tight canes in hand" politically correct in new zealand?

i think its a bit out of order from the estate agent
but still - its like saying the blonde or the caucasions or w/e

[Blu]

It's unprofessional of an agent to respond in that way though - when you need to send drain people round to fix it you need to give a precise address - not an allusion to the inmates! You wouldn't expect the purchase order to say 'one new drain, addess: the Asians'.

Whatever anyone might say in their own home, with or without dodgy intentions, the context here was professional.

[MummyDoIt]

I agree it sounds better as 'the Asian family'. However, there are plenty of nationalities that we refer to simply by adjective. The Scot, the Greek, the Australian (just thinking of three in my circle of friends) all sound perfectly fine to me.

[Bumdiddley]

ghosty - Seems easier to take it out on strangers (who are lovely)than work colleagues who are bastards...

[ghosty]

Thank you ... I seem to be on the same page of most of you.
When I talked it over with DH we both said that putting in a noun like "the asian family" or "the asian couple" or something would have been more polite. I would have preferred 'the family at 56C' but just using 'Asian' like that just seems rude and impolite.
Bumdiddley ... we all have tetchy days ... but there was no real connection about the sewage issue (that was just for background to the story ... )
And no, they aren't as sensitive in NZ - that's part of the point really ...

[FrannyandZooey]

oh sorry I hadn't read all posts and just repeated what you said LL

I completely agree with LL

[Twiglett]

yes it's the lack of a noun, so making an adjective a noun that is intensely discomfitting with strong racist overtones

[Heifer]

opps took too long to type that and have now managed to xposts with quite a few of you....

[Heifer]

I think LL has hit the nail on the head as to why it sounds offensive.

I originally though that it looked unreasonable then thought hold on I am sure I would say the Asian couple (family etc) if I was talking about someone in our road and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, in fact wouldn't it seem odd by ignoring that the fact that there is an obviously difference to any other couple in the road so therefore quick and (perhaps lazy) way of getting the other person to know who I was talking about.

[FrannyandZooey]

even if it said "the Asian family" it would be kind of acceptable (IMO)
it is just rude and bad manners as it stands to refer to someone purely by their race - like saying "the white over there" rather than "the white lady over there"

in this case where there are plenty of other ways to identify the house it is fairly crap, isn't it

[Bumdiddley]

That's how I wanted to say it LF but ended up coming across as agressive..

DD cried for most of the night cause she wanted to sleep with daddy...I'm feeling a little tetchy..

[Mamazon]

i see your point LF but it doesn't seem to be given teh family's race in order to clarify where teh problem stems..it just seems to be lazy and does have a slight undertone that is not pleasant.

had the mail said "its frm number 42, the asian family" i would have guessed that the agent didn't know the name but thought it would help Ghosty in identifying the home in question.

it is only a subtle difference but an important one imo

[Alambil]

Is it any different to saying "The Afrian's" or "The Mexican's" house though?

Are we hypersensitive to anything referring specifically to Asians now as it does seem to be quite a sensitive subject atm here?

I don't know - I do sometimes wonder if we do react in a more dramatic way than to other nationalities.... I mean, if the letter had said "Yes, we think the problem is with the Mexican's house" would you feel shocked?

I don't think I would in all honesty (and I'm not shocked or offended at the OP either)

Is it even offensive? It's just describing what house it comes from - is it any worse than describing a house by the age of it's occupants ("the old biddy's house" puts her age above being a person, if you go down that argument)? Just because it's a nationality/race description doesn't make it racist IMO