Is he right - am I self absorbed?

[Goneblank38]

Hi all,
My husband and I live with our two kids, 3 and 5. Yesterday our youngest was sick at kinder and I also came home from work feeling ill with something similar. Me and kids went to bed early. Around 4am, our eldest was upset in his bed. I went in to see him, he said he felt sick so I took him into our bed so he wouldn't wake his sister. Realised that husband was sleeping on couch but didn't think about it. Son felt sick and couldn't sleep, so around 6.30am, I took him out to his dad and asked if he could look after him while I got another hours sleep before taking over with kids. Husband said he was also feeling unwell. I said I had been up since four with our son and just needed a nap before taking over with kids around 7.30. I went back to bed, and when I woke up up husband told me I was self absorbed and hadn't ask how he was feeling. Before I defend myself, I want to see if others think this was unreasonable?

If your DH wasn't feeling well enough to take over so that you could have an extra hour's sleep, then surely he's perfectly able to speak up and say so. He's the one being unreasonable in my opinion OP.

Out of interest does he have form for

'You're ill? Oh I'm MORE ill' ?

And similar eg : 'MY day was harder'

Cause he gives me that vibe.

Seems the sort to try make you feel bad about yourself so you don't recognise HE is a dick.

If anything he sounds self-absorbed - you were unwell and juggling the restless sleep of your unwell DC, while he had a full nights sleep not disturbed until 6.30. You were taking care of your DC when he was mainly just taking care of himself. He sounds selfish.

When kids are sick, their dad is always sick, and more so.

However, how was he to look after kid while on sofa?

Did he ask how you were?

both of you (and the kids) are ill so why is it your job to look after the kids and check how he is feeling but not him?

Say nothing to him other than go boil your head or fuck off dipshit!….

...and at what point did he ask how you were feeling?

It works both ways!

And why are you the default parent, needing to check he's 'okay' to do his share?

He sounds selfish.