Really struggling

[Struggle1]

I think im having a nervous breakdown. I’ve felt like this for 2 years now. I have very few good days but most of the time I’m on edge, overwhelmed and just really nervous and anxious. I work 3 days after cutting from 5 days. I feel like I’m a dream like state. I went back to work today and manager asked me how my weekend was and I just talked for ages, I know he must think I’m weird. I’m really trying. I’ve tried to eat healthier but each day for past 6 days I’ve just binged as it soothes me. I’m really struggling with my kids too but I’m doing best I can. I know the question will come up regarding DH so truthfully he’s no help. I’ve tried talking about how I’m feeling but his response is always “you work 3 days, how can you be so stressed?”. He has a highly stressful job so to him I’m having an easy life. I’ve had talking therapy for 12 weeks now and they extending it. Tbh I feel it’s such a waste of my time but im attending and doing my homework tasks and really trying. My home is a mess. Couldn’t find matching socks today for my youngest (5).

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this 💐. As you are having talking therapy, I'm guessing you have already spoken to your gp? Even so, talk to them again and tell them you are struggling. Life can get so overwhelming at times so it's easy to let things get on top of you.

I'm sure your manager didn't think you were weird, don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing a great job.

Talk to someone. Your gp, a close friend or family member. It will help to share the load.

Well your husband is a twat so that could be why you're feeling so shit.

Are you on any anti depressants? They help my anxiety massively. So sorry you're struggling. And I'm sure no one thinks you're weird!

Does therapy feel like a waste of time because the therapist isn't getting it?

Therapy feels like a waste as I just feel she’s telling me everything I already know. It’s nice to vent to someone and her to challenge my thoughts but deep down I feel it makes no difference and there are faster methods to feel better such as I know losing weight will help my mood but I just can’t get in the right frame of mind to care about healthy eating, I also know taking time out for myself might help but I feel I have zero time for myself. On my 2 days off I literally drop kids off and I feel it’s time to pick up again! I know in reality that can’t be true as I drop them off 8:45 and pick up 3pm so I definitely have 6 hours to myself but I am rushing doing things like food shopping, laundry, going dry cleaners I don’t have any time for myself. Weekends are doing their activities like swimming etc I’m exhausted.

I feel your pain. Only advice I can give us to stop thinking things have to be anything other than the minimum needed to get by right now. You only need to feed your kids, love them as best you can and watch they are safe. A messy house and no extra curriculars etc won’t matter for now. Just let yourself take it as easy as possible until they are a bit older. The important thing is easing any strain on your mental health. That’s what will benefit everyone the most in the long term. Truly

Thank you everyone. I’m really trying but it’s so difficult

what are baby steps to reducing your workload? Could DH do the grocery shopping every Saturday for an hour and take the kids with him?

@wead he won’t do that. Anything I ask him to do he will complain

Can you take a week off work to reset?

Blitz the house, declutter- less stuff= less mess, book a massage/manicure/hair cut, prep a new healthy meal weekly menu, build exercise into your routine e.g. drop kids off, then go straight for a walk/ do an exercise video on the tv, sign up to Noom, book a holiday/spa break if finances allow, write a daily list of tasks so that you feel a sense of achievement when you tick each one off.