Hi all,
Hope you're all well!
My 4 year old DD hates travelling and gets super upset when in the back of the car, we've tried many different distractions, but the only thing that reasonably calms her is her dummy ( she has it for bedtime as well). We visited grandparents this weekend and they immediately berated me for letting her have it in the car, but she'd be distraught travelling without. Should I be ditching this for car journeys or will she feel calmer over time or am I being unreasonable in seeing no issue with this as it makes her happier?
Currently it isn't damaging her teeth or speech otherwise I'd definitely consider
AIBU?
4 year old travelling - dummy
AmySma1i · 17/10/2022 16:03
Am I being unreasonable?
162 votes. Final results.
POLLAmySma1i · 18/10/2022 07:21
We've definitely tried to limit the dummy and bottle usage and will look to get rid soon, but she needs the nappies at night otherwise she'll be sleeping in wet sheets every night
Mariposista · 17/10/2022 21:50
Hugs, kisses - all great as many as possible for as long as possible. But dummies, bottles, nappies? No way
AmySma1i · 18/10/2022 07:21
We've definitely tried to limit the dummy and bottle usage and will look to get rid soon, but she needs the nappies at night otherwise she'll be sleeping in wet sheets every night
Mariposista · 17/10/2022 21:50
Hugs, kisses - all great as many as possible for as long as possible. But dummies, bottles, nappies? No way
DC1214 · 17/10/2022 21:17
From memory she did use it at bedtime and we removed it once she was asleep. Main use was when she was overtired, the minute she started using it her whole body relaxed instantly. I think there’s a world of difference between using it for selected circumstances and wandering around with it in their mouths at all times. Sounds like you’re giving it plenty consideration, she’ll be fine!
Mariposista · 17/10/2022 21:50
Hugs, kisses - all great as many as possible for as long as possible. But dummies, bottles, nappies? No way
SkirridHill · 17/10/2022 20:53
Have to say, DD still has one at 4. It's just for bedtime. I'm totally aware it's not great but I've reconciled myself to it as a comfort for her.
DD has always led the way with things, she goes at her own pace and is more advanced in some ways than her peers, particularly in her speech. We've had conversations about giving it up and she knows she can't have it forever. Last dental check up was fine, though the dentist did caution us about the fact it can affect growth in the future so I limited access even further then.
Basically, I know it sucks (hah!) and it's weak ass parenting on my part. But it is what it is.
Also, I'll never stop holding my daughter's hand whilst she still wants me to. We all parent differently.
Ffsmakeitstop · 17/10/2022 20:33
I have a picture of him taking a nap and he's got a dummy in his mouth and one in each hand. This parenting lark is a bit of a minefield. But I think it's best to make your own decisions and not do what other folk think you should do.
Crazyducklady · 17/10/2022 20:34
Love her! She’s only little. I’ve had 2 dummy lovers. One who gave up at 3.5 when they stopped making his preferred type and another who held out until 5.5 yrs. Car and bed only like your daughter. Both do have ASD admittedly but that makes no odds. They’ve got lovely straight, undamaged teeth and I’d have let them have this bit of comfort regardless of their disability.
Youngest ditched in the summer after his reception year. I told him the shop had stopped selling his dummy so to not loose the last few he had left. I then poked tiny holes in them one by one with a pin so they lost their ‘duck’ and he chucked them out himself! Not a care in the world.
If she was still sucking it at 20 may be time to worry. At 4, not so much.
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Ffsmakeitstop · 17/10/2022 20:17
When he damaged them we explained that they couldn't be replaced and he did accept that though to be fair they were pretty grim by then.
Ohwellwhateverthen · 17/10/2022 20:09
I think needing a dummy or to hold someone's hand in the car is indicative of some sort of issue. What's the problem with driving? Is she anxious, has she been in the car while there was an accident?
AmySma1i · 17/10/2022 19:59
I was surprised by this, she's growing up but she's still in that delicate age where she really needs all the support at times. She is a total daddy's girl though
NCHammer2022 · 17/10/2022 19:35
What the heck is wrong with holding her dad’s hand in the car? I often hold DH’s hand if we’re on the bus or something and I’m 36!
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