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AIBU?

To ask for weird comments you’ve recieved from strangers?

32 replies

aluminiumwaterbottle · 15/10/2022 17:06

Mine tended to happen when I was in my early/mid teens. I was quite tall and my dress sense was older (not in an inappropriate way, just plain colours etc). I used to go shopping with my dad a lot as we both had a love of cooking and would get ingredients together then cook with them at home.

I can think of several different occasions where I was mistaken for my dad’s (in his mid-50s during this time) much younger girlfriend.

The first time, I pointed and something and said to dad “Let’s go and have a look at this.” and he followed me. An older woman tutted and said to dad “Well you clearly go where the young girls go.” Dad was in too much shock to correct her, and she buggered off. We often got looks in the shop as well.

Another time at a motorway service station on the way to a holiday. My mum and brother stayed in the car and we went in to get coffees. Friendly barista asked where we were going, and my dad replied ‘Cornwall’. The barista then said “Ah, romantic break?” and my dad corrected him that I was his daughter and it was a family holiday. The barista’s face was a picture.

These incidents eventually made me too insecure to go out just me and my dad, which is a shame. I always wondered how messed up those people’s lives must’ve been to assume something grim like that rather than us just being a father and daughter.

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Hillrunning · 15/10/2022 17:15

You have a really odd way of thinking. Strangers glance at people and sometimes comment. Why does it matter if they get it wrong?

Did you really stop going out alone with your father because of a few misjudged comments?

I had a neighbour think my husband was my son, didn't bother me. I had an acquaintance think I was cheating on my husband because she saw me hugging my brother, didn't bother me.

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ofwarren · 15/10/2022 17:20

I was in a chain pub restaurant with all 3 of my boys. Two have browny/dark blonde hair and one is ginger even though neither parent has red hair.
A woman of I'd say around 75 walked over to the table asking about the kids, the usual "are they all yours" type thing. All nice until she turned to the ginger one and said, "ginger? Oh dear, did your mum have a bike?"....

I can only assume she was hinting that I'd had an affair with a ginger man!

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Whattheactualfcku · 15/10/2022 17:25

Probably not weird but I still find it a bit of a shock (although in a nice way!) Men mainly but a woman the other day shouted that I was beautiful! I think I’m attractive not in a big headed way but know I’m not ugly. It’s just recently strangers have told me to my face and I don’t know how to take it! I tend to go bright red and say thank you.

I have started saying it to other people when I think they’re attractive or have nice hair, are wearing a nice dress etc as it’s a massive confidence boost and it’s nice to be nice!

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magicstar1 · 15/10/2022 17:27

I think you took too much notice of a few comments.
I went away for a weekend with my dad when I was 18, and we were shown to a room with a double bed. He said “No, she’s my daughter” and we started laughing. The b&b owner was mortified but we weren’t bothered.

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IglesiasPiggl · 15/10/2022 17:33

When my DS was a tiny baby I was out walking with him in his pram to try and settle him. He was crying and a woman walking past stopped and said he was crying because I must have eaten mackerel during my pregnancy!

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Concernednan456 · 15/10/2022 17:35

Haha I’ve recently been described as ‘young mother ‘ by a professional . I had my granddaughter with me -( I’m 39 and look damned good for my age I’m told )but in no way pass for a ‘young mum ‘ .
also happen to be dainty and of a pretty dark complexion and regularly met with suspicion when out and about with my little Viking build redhead boy.
Its very middle class round here and the whole having a child in your teens but then again later in life seems to confuse them.

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Pickingmyselfup · 15/10/2022 17:36

Used to happen to me and my dad too when I was early teens upwards. Also mistaken for his sister because we look similar.

I never really got the wife assumption when I was 14, I was very clearly a young teenager and him obviously much older. My stepmum was mistaken for being our mum which is just as bizarre, she's younger than him and doesn't look horrendously old for her age, or him ridiculously young.

People are just odd and a lot of the time really should just keep their mouths shut because it just makes them look silly.

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Cotswoldmama · 15/10/2022 17:46

I remember my sister and I had matching dresses. They were striped and had a little anchor on the front and it said Marina under it. An elderly lady came over and said to me 'Marina, what a lovely name! Are you twins?' I'm two and a half years older than my sister and I look Mediterranean dark olive skin, dark hair, green eyes and my sister is pale, blonde haired and blue eyed! I also wonder if she thought we were both called Marina!

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CookPassBabtridge · 15/10/2022 18:03

It's odd and grim that they would assume something gross rather than the most likely answer of father and daughter. My dad was self conscious of it too when we used to shop together. I was 15 and he was 55! People have weird minds.

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VladmirsPoutine · 15/10/2022 18:04

I don't think yabu only because I wish people would just not say anything at all. It's a lot less effort just mind your fucking business. I hate random comments. An odd one was around when I was travelling back from a trip with a suitcase and a woman was convinced that I was a touring sex worker - I was in a trench coats and ballet flats and not remotely aware of what had made her think that. I wish I'd told her to piss off. Instead I just laughed and said no I'm on my way back from Rome.

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LetsPlayShadowlands · 15/10/2022 18:13

Someone walked past me at a bus stop when I was about 16, on my own, and said 'wow how ugly are you'. What I hate most is not being able to forget these things. I don't really care what others think of me and don't really care if they think I'm ugly :)

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HikingforScenery · 15/10/2022 18:31

LetsPlayShadowlands · 15/10/2022 18:13

Someone walked past me at a bus stop when I was about 16, on my own, and said 'wow how ugly are you'. What I hate most is not being able to forget these things. I don't really care what others think of me and don't really care if they think I'm ugly :)

I’m so sorry you went through that. That person must’ve seen something about you that they felt jealous of. They must be living a pretty miserable life to go out of their way to make a comment like that to you

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Whattheactualfcku · 15/10/2022 19:07

LetsPlayShadowlands · 15/10/2022 18:13

Someone walked past me at a bus stop when I was about 16, on my own, and said 'wow how ugly are you'. What I hate most is not being able to forget these things. I don't really care what others think of me and don't really care if they think I'm ugly :)

It’s usually a reflection of how someone else feels about themselves!

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NoseyNellie · 15/10/2022 19:37

Laughing at all these because I would get mistaken for my Dad’s girlfriend because he did date inappropriately young women when I was in my teens!

Favourite memory tho was the reverse when my sister & I were sat in a restaurant with Dad and his latest ‘friend’ and the waiter said how lovely to see a father with his beautiful daughters… I took great pleasure in correcting him (for context DDad 46, me 17, DSis 19, girlfriend 21)

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aluminiumwaterbottle · 15/10/2022 20:01

@CookPassBabtridge.

This is what I mean! It almost makes me feel sorry for them. Maybe they didn’t have a relationship with their dad, so the idea of a father and daughter together is inconceivable to them, so it’s easier to assume we’re a couple with a 40 year age gap? I can’t think of any other reason why they would assume this. Though I dressed quite older, I was very clearly a teenager ffs.

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aluminiumwaterbottle · 15/10/2022 20:03

@aluminiumwaterbottle

I have phrased my above comment VERY wrongly! But what I mean is if they didn’t have their own dad’s around maybe they wouldn’t get the concept of a father and daughter shopping together, and hence assumed we had to be a couple.

Or maybe they are just idiots

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XenoBitch · 15/10/2022 20:05

A gothy type chap in his 40s/50s came up to me. He had massive back combed hair and baggy clothing. Probably channelling Robert Smith.
He wobbled over to me and said... "antique shops nowadays, are not what they say they are"
And he wobbled off again into the night.

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aluminiumwaterbottle · 15/10/2022 20:07

Another time was walking down the street eating a pasty. A man came up to me and asked where I had gotten it from. I replied that I got it from the garage just up the road. He said “Ha! Bet it was £2.50.” and I go “No, 4.50 actually.” He then called me a “Fucking moronic idiot” then carried on walking.

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LetsPlayShadowlands · 15/10/2022 20:10

HikingforScenery · 15/10/2022 18:31

I’m so sorry you went through that. That person must’ve seen something about you that they felt jealous of. They must be living a pretty miserable life to go out of their way to make a comment like that to you

Thanks so much for your kind words.

That's the thing, I know they must be an awful person and I'm glad I'm not like them. That's why I hate that I still remember it! They're not worth remembering!

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aluminiumwaterbottle · 15/10/2022 20:10

My Italian DH has been called a ‘fucking pole’ on more than one occasion. He loves correcting them.

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LetsPlayShadowlands · 15/10/2022 20:12

Whattheactualfcku · 15/10/2022 19:07

It’s usually a reflection of how someone else feels about themselves!

You're right! I can't even imagine saying something like that to someone else, and then walk off feeling what, pleased with myself? Strange mindset to have.

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aluminiumwaterbottle · 15/10/2022 20:14

@LetsPlayShadowlands

Sorry that happened to you. That would affect me very much. They either are unwell or just a horrible unpleasant person, in which case I’d bet money that they don’t have many people around them. They are the issue, not you.

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Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 15/10/2022 20:26

A horrible one - when I was a teen walking to the bus stop with my then best friend and a man said 'ooh look, beauty and the beast!' He pointed to each of us as he said it and I was the beast.

A random one - my youngest sister was born when I was a teen and I used to love pushing the pram when we were out. We were in town one day and my mum had nipped into a shop; a woman came up and congratulated me on my baby then wagged her finger at my dad and said "talk about child brides! She looks like a little girl!" (meaning me!). My dad looked horrified and said "these are my two DAUGHTERS!" The woman thought it uproariously funny while my dad went beetroot red.

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Brandnewwoman · 15/10/2022 20:29

Was on holiday with my children then aged 16 and 5 .
Random bloke in the pool said to my elder son ."that woman your with is a lot older than you but it's good that you are playing with your son and doing activities with him ,not just hanging about with her "
Eldest "that's my mum " ..." he is my wee brother "😂

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AssumingDirectControl · 15/10/2022 20:41

Quite the other way round, when my husband was having his contact lens fitting while I waited for him, the optician handed me a trial pack of lenses “to put in my bag for him” which I thought was weird but then I heard her say to him “I’ve given your mum some pairs for you to practice with…”. 😩

I mean he is younger than me but not so much as to assume I could be his mum…

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