Every single, little thing is difficult with Dd

[Missedstrictlyagain]

Dd, just turned 4, love her to bits, but god, she’s hard work!
Literally every little thing is a problem at the moment, she’s so demanding and wants everything and cries and shouts when she doesn’t get it. From the minute she wakes up until she goes to sleep it’s difficult some days…Dh and I are at our wits end. Went an hours drive for a *Nice day out today…it was draining from start to finish…is this normal? Feel like I’m doing something wrong…she wasn’t like this even as a toddler
Life isn’t great for any of us like this at the moment!

[Usernamepleasework]

EXACTLY the same here too with my 4.5 year old. Word for word the same absolutely exhausting and we have a 3 year old who is completely different character wise to my 4.5 year but he is now starting to copy him with the demands whinging tantrums ect Some days I just feel like giving up and giving in but can’t must keep strong as don’t want to raise brats lol

[Missedstrictlyagain]

Relieved to see it’s a common thing, although sorry others are going through the same!
She’s just sooo demanding and wants it all her own way..if we’re in the car and I turn a channel over for another song, it’s immediately ‘I was listening to that’ fair enough if she was so I turn it back, but it’s with every little thing and almost like she just has to go against things. She got upset the other day because Dh tidied up the toys off the floor because she wanted to do a specific, tiny toy 🙈he obviously had no idea and she cried for ages about it. She also takes sooo long to get ready to go out, just everything is difficult 😫she’s an amazing, funny, bright, gorgeous girl but how do you deal with this testing behaviour?! Dh and I were seriously just worn out today and on edge

[unvillage]

So she's literally only just turned 4 - imagine if she was born a few weeks earlier and was now going to school!

Count your blessings. An hour's drive is a lot to ask for any young child. 4-year-olds are mini teenagers - stroppy about every little thing. Don't give in, but give her choices for things that you know are likely to start a strop - "would you like to do this thing now or after we do this thing?" "do you want to brush your teeth before or after your bath?" "would you prefer the big cup or the small cup for your drink?" It will get better, I promise!

[Raidtheice]

@Missedstrictlyagain

@miraveile How old is she?
Do you give in to the tantrum or stick to your guns if you’ve said no to something she wants etc?

God no, don't give into the tantrums! Never give into the tantrums. Show no weakness!

[Icecreamandapplepie]

I read the thread title and thought I bet she's gonna be 4 🤔

Totally normal and totally infuriating

[Fauviandelight32]

Just wanted to post out of solidarity as it sounds so much like my 4 year old daughter. The low point last week was physically having to carry her out of a supermarket in the midst of a tantrum about not getting a bloody cupcake. She yells and screams and can really work herself up. I agree you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. She never, ever gets her way when she has a tantrum but tbh that doesn’t seem to have helped. It’s just really hard going some days. She is so funny and sweet and I can sometimes see her really try to keep it together but other times she goes nuclear.

Might get crucified for this but sometimes it makes me really regret having a kid, my life was so much less stressful before!

Anyone here had a kid like this that grew out of it?

[Gruffling]

It's a hard age, hard for them.

[Singleandproud]

All behaviour is communication. It's likely she's too young to be diagnosed with additional needs and it may well not be that but there would be no harm in trying some strategies that benefit people who are ND and seeing if that helps.

Use social stories to show routines and changes to routines.
Ear defenders to reduce sensory input.
Make sure you are modeling the language when she screams for something and give her the words to understand her feelings.
Travelling an hour in the car for a nice day out puts too much pressure and expectations on all of you for the perfect day, keep weekends low key and the big trips out for midway through the holidays. A perfect day to a 4 year old is jumping in puddles, collecting rocks, shells or leaves and having home comforts.

At 4 she is likely to be tired from preschool, potentially sensorary overloaded as she must have spent a large chunk of her life isolated from the world because of covid

[maryberryslayers]

I could have written this. Nothing is good enough for our just turned 4 year old. He whines constantly. Cries and screams over everything at the slightest hint of not getting his own way. Often accompanied by throwing himself to the floor.
I have lowered my expectations dramatically. I am trying to pick my battles and say yes to everything I can within reason.
It's draining but it will pass.

[Birdie135]

What’s your parenting style like?

[mycatisannoying]

I have teenage girls. I'd LOVE to say it gets better ... 😬

[PussInBin20]

I think it’s pretty normal. They are gaining independence at that age and testing the boundaries. I wouldn’t give in to all of her demands though or life will be difficult as she gets older.

I would maybe ignore her silly demands/tantrums (if poss) but stay firm on more important ones.

I know it sounds easier said than done but she will grow out of it.