I have 3 DS. 10, 8 and 8months. Older 2 are to my ex.
DS10 has ADHD. As far as we know DS8 has nothing like that, but I’m starting to wonder. His outbursts are awful. Hitting, kicking, screaming. He’s wakes the baby up with this and the baby gets really scared. It’s just heartbreaking to see baby react like that.
I don’t live with my current partner(baby’s dad) he doesn’t really come to my house either as I just can’t deal with the DCs behaviour and I don’t want to subject another person to it. They’re rude and fight constantly.
me and ex have them 50/50 but I literally dread my time with them, especially when it’s my weekend with them.
their dad has the same issues when they’re with him but he doesn’t have a baby to consider.
im on the brink of messaging him and saying come and get them. Im embarrassed that I ‘can’t cope’ and I’m positive he’d use this against me at some point. But I’m past caring.
I could take them out for the day but their behaviour is still awful and quite frankly, I don’t think they deserve a day out when they behave like this. Cheeky, backchatting etc.
help please. I’m losing my mind!
AIBU?
End of my tether with my DC
Copingnomore · 24/09/2022 14:18
Am I being unreasonable?
75 votes. Final results.
POLLCopingnomore · 24/09/2022 14:23
The minute he walks out of the gates, the devil appears
Greengagesnfennel · 24/09/2022 21:34
It does sound like your 8yo has adhd to me. Schools are pretty savvy. It sounds like he is playing up as the middle child because he can see the youngest getting all the baby attention and the oldest getting it for having adhd.
What's he learn from that? Play up and you might give him some of your time.
You need to give him more of your time not less.
LuckyLil · 24/09/2022 21:23
Unfortunately I don’t get the feeling you are prepared to make the necessary changes you need to make in order to turn this around. There’s a saying that if you aren’t a part of the solution then you must be a part of the problem.
Copingnomore · 24/09/2022 16:44
I have 3 children. Why do 2 of them take priority over another? They’re all equal, surely
Copingnomore · 24/09/2022 17:04
@toastofthetown i don’t get a minute to pee on my own, let alone read a book!
mum not pushing my older kids out at all. I love them with every part of me. I’m just struggling to cope with their behaviour. This started long before baby came along.
ex never has them one to one and he doesn’t have a baby. In fact, he’s never on his own with them. His partner is always there.
Notimeforaname · 24/09/2022 18:20
Will you also dump this baby if it’s ND/misbehaves sometimes?
That's a really mean thing to say. And inaccurate. She hasn't "dumped" her children.
Notimeforaname · 24/09/2022 18:20
Will you also dump this baby if it’s ND/misbehaves sometimes?
That's a really mean thing to say. And inaccurate. She hasn't "dumped" her children.
Copingnomore · 24/09/2022 17:04
@toastofthetown i don’t get a minute to pee on my own, let alone read a book!
mum not pushing my older kids out at all. I love them with every part of me. I’m just struggling to cope with their behaviour. This started long before baby came along.
ex never has them one to one and he doesn’t have a baby. In fact, he’s never on his own with them. His partner is always there.
Copingnomore · 24/09/2022 16:29
I do not want to ‘concentrate on my new family’. How dare you! I want us all to live together, happily. But that just isn’t happening, no matter how hard I try
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Copingnomore · 24/09/2022 16:29
I do not want to ‘concentrate on my new family’. How dare you! I want us all to live together, happily. But that just isn’t happening, no matter how hard I try
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.