Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.

[Foodie321]

My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???

[nimbuscloud]

Is your 14 year old privy to all the drama about the coat?

[ElleEmDee]

Sew a prawn shell into the lining then give it back.

[Jibberjabberhutt]

Ignore the threat of legal action, it’s absolute guff. She wouldn’t bother. And if she did, you’d have a very good argument.

But just give her the coat back and then block her entirely from your life. What a load of teenage spite and drama.

[YourenutsmiLord]

FGS make sure coat is unmarked or they'll be demanding dry cleaning costs - CFs

[Luredbyapomegranate]

Yes, just return the bloody coat and move on.

The whole situation sounds massively dysfunctional - it’s not worth your time, and it would be good to teach your daughter how to move on from nonsense like this.

[Derbee]

Wait until it’s raining/snowing heavily and they’re out. Drop the coat off on their doorstep. Let them deal with the claggy mess of a wet coat. Maybe with a stain or a rip somewhere unfortunate. Or a muddy footprint once it’s been left on the ground

[IamnotSethRogan]

Just give the cost back and be done with it! I don't know why you're dragging this out. Yes they sound ridiculous but for the sake of this coat you can be done with them

[gamerchick]

Court action over a coat?

I'd let them me just for the amusement and counterclaim for the money if you have proof.

Tell them in writing that you'll return the coat when they've returned the money. Keep all communication in writing from here on in.

[Changechangychange]

If she’s threatening court action, I’d refuse to return it on principle. I can just imagine the judge’s face if she actually bothers doing that. You can’t demand the return of a gift.

And how much is she claiming for? Unless it’s a Canada Goose coat or something, a second hand coat must be worth what, £10?

And you know they won’t be the end of it, she’ll claim you damaged it or something and want compensation off you, or find something else batshit to extort money from you over. Just block her, and if she approaches you or your daughter in person call the police.

[Lime37]

Tbh they should remburse you for the money. I’d be teaching my daughter the joy of donate if to those less fortunate and giving the coat to the charity shop

[Mouk]

I'd leave the coat on their doorstep and then block all forms of communication. You will be rid of them then.

[SolasAnla]

She won't give you the money back. She would have given you the money back around the time of the concert If she ever had any intent of doing it.

Just have your daughter give the coat back, it shuts down potential conflicts and cuts ties.

[flashpaper]

@ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff

Court action over a coat?

I'd block them, keep the coat as it was a gift and tell them good luck with the court action.

I would do this.
Is it the coat that they're actually trying to take you to court over?? What court is going to hear that? I don't even think Judge Judy would take on that nonsense!

[underneaththeash]

I wouldn't return the coat. Ignore her and sell the coat on vinted.

[NugsNotDrugs]

I agree with pp that it’s better to give it back and be done with them.
You were never going to get the £100 back.

[Kendoddsdadsdogsdadsdead]

Just give the coat back. Cut ties and cut this melodrama out of your life. It's so unnecessary.

[LUCCCY]

I don't think it's so much about the coat. I think they just want to cause as much inconvenience as they possibly can. I would have been inclined to say don't return it but I agree with PP's. Return it and don't give them the satisfaction of keeping this going. Also, how could they possibly take this to court? Morons.

[ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff]

Court action over a coat?

I'd block them, keep the coat as it was a gift and tell them good luck with the court action.

[CheezerGoode]

She sounds nasty. Not a legal person but what action could she possibly take? Did they not gift the coat?

Also maybe sell it and pocket the money?

[ThePlantsitter]

Unless your daughter needs the coat just give it back. You need to cut your losses on this one. It is going to cost you more in energy to wrangle over the money than the benefit in getting it back unless it's the difference between eating and not.

[Cao77]

Take the moral high ground OP, return the coat. As much as it is galling to do so, It's just not worth the shitstorm!

[DreamerSeven]

I’d hand it back with an unfortunate rip somewhere obvious

[RepentBirthingPersonFucker]

Yanbu but I would give the coat back and be free of the drama

[JamesWilbysAbs]

Give the coat back and then be done with them. Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

[Kbyodjs]

I get why you don’t want to and on principle you shouldn’t have to but I think I would just to avoid the drama and be rid of her