I have just had a friend over who wanted to get out of their house for a bit. She has a step dd who is 14 and who has been behaving badly. Think shoplifting, bullying another girl and being totally disrespectful to her mum.
My friend works very long hours. She only gets a lie in on a Sunday. She is often exhausted and really needs this lie in.
Over the last few months her step dd has been coming into their room and using friends hair straighteners. They are mega effective but old so don't have an automatic shut off. Step dd has been leaving them in her room switched on and then going out. Friend has explained the importance of switching them off umpteen times but step dd has taken no notice. Last week friend said if she did this one more time she would not be using them anymore. She left them on again.
Last night friend and her dh drove round to collect step dd who was staying over. Friend re-iterated the straighteners were no longer available and did she have hers with her. Step dd said no. She was keeping her hair curly.
Step dd was going shopping at a large mall today and was being collected by a friend and her parents at 8.30am as the mall is a drive away. At 7.30am stepdd came barging into the room demanding the straighteners. Friend said no. Stepdd started screaming and shouting and wailing so friends dh went into the drawers, gave her the straighteners and said he wasn't having his dd being so upset. So friend was totally walked over and was too wired and angry for her 1 lie in.
She showed me a text on her phone where her dh had said it was a big fuss over straighteners and why is she making such a big deal over it. Friend went home second guessing herself. And I am raging for her. I tried not to slate her dh but it's not about bloody straighteners at all. I am hoping I can maybe show her this thread at some point if I am right. This is not the first time her dh has let his dd walk all over my friend. For example she has to sit in the back when they drive anywhere as step dd won't sit in the back. And it's their joint car that my friend pays equally for. And her dh gave my friends old iPhone to his dd when she broke hers. He didn't ask if this was OK as he said she didn't use it anymore so what was the problem. My friend had been planning on giving it to her niece. She has a dh problem doesn't she?
AIBU?
I dont think she is over reacting. Do you?
Cheeseandlobster · 01/08/2021 12:47
Am I being unreasonable?
1855 votes. Final results.
POLLEek this is very outing I reckon. Does your friend know you have posted all this 
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@EKGEMS
It’s hard enough parenting teens when they’re your actual children and you’re in a stable, committed relationship with their other parent.
Bring a step-child into the mix and a totally ineffectual parent, and it’s surely a recipe for unrelenting misery.
This isn’t ever going to get better. As I posted upthread, I’m amazed she’s hanging around. 
I mean, continue to do so (while all the time complaining and feeling resentful) by all means. But where’s the joy in that?
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