Over not sharing bedroom with dsd

[Dustydolly]

Don't know of I'm being a complete over reacting drama queen here or if my dp is being twatty disney dad.

10 year old Dsd has come to stay for 2 weeks, she shares a room here with her step sibling, has a bed with space for her belongings etc. But she has insisted on sleeping in a blow up bed in my and dps bedroom.

This has been happening quite a lot over the past couple of months, she's woken up in the night saying she's had a nightmare or doesn't feel too well and wants to get in our bed, personally I'm not comfortable sharing a bed with dsd so on these occasions I'll swap beds with her however tonight she has come and said she's staying in our room for the whole 2 weeks. I tried to talk to dp about this and said no, she should be sleeping in her bed and I'm not happy to sleep in a bottom bunk for 2 weeks, Well guess where I am because dsd got her way and dp has just ignored my feelings on it, I suppose it annoys me even more because if my ds (not his child) tries climbing in our bed or there's any mention of him sleeping anywhere but in his bed, in his room, dp throws a hissy fit and says absolutely not, he's in his bed and that's that.
AIBU or is he?

[CharityDingle]

@me4real

Ah ok, so she isn't even your step-daughter at all *@Dustydolly* . This would be too much to put up with even for a husband, but he's not even that.

It's not even a particularly stable relationship and he's lied to you in the past.

Exactly.

[me4real]

Ah ok, so she isn't even your step-daughter at all @Dustydolly . This would be too much to put up with even for a husband, but he's not even that.

It's not even a particularly stable relationship and he's lied to you in the past.

[lastcall]

"Well, I don't want to live in a home where a 10 year old runs the show. MY home. So if you don't sort it, I'm out."

I wouldn't stay with someone who was enabling his controlling daughter in this manner. Just couldn't.

Good luck, OP. Hope you're ok.

[feelingmehtoday]

@feelingmehtoday

I wouldn't want to share a bedroom with a child that isn't mine either.

Really? Have your kids never had sleepovers with friends?

Ahhh I see what you mean here - I read this as "I wouldn't want my child to share a bedroom with a child that isn't mine" at first. Disregard the above

[feelingmehtoday]

Your OH sounds like a prat and the double standards he is displaying is ridiculous. Why are you letting him get away with it?

Would love to know this myself. If mine acted like this I'd be turfing him out of the bed. and also probably the house

[feelingmehtoday]

I wouldn't want to share a bedroom with a child that isn't mine either.

Really? Have your kids never had sleepovers with friends?

[feelingmehtoday]

@EccentricaGalumbits

But OP later says this:

if my ds wakes in the night I'm to take him back to his room to comfort him, dsd gets in the bed and I move.

... so dsd is getting^^ into her bed, not just on the floor in the bedroom (which I happen to think is equally inappropriate anyway).

[Cadent]

@EccentricaGalumbits

You said The original post was actually about the SD wanting to sleep on the floor for the length of this visit.

The OP actually says "she has come and said she's staying in our room for the whole 2 weeks."

So nothing about the DSD wanting to sleep on the floor for 2 weeks. It sounds like she wants the bed, but best for OP to confirm.

[EccentricaGalumbits]

[quote Cadent]@EccentricaGalumbits

The original post was actually about the SD wanting to sleep on the floor for the length of this visit.

No it wasn't. The OP doesn't say this at all [/quote]
she has insisted on sleeping in a blow up bed in my and dps bedroom.

That's on the floor. Not in their bed with them.

[Cadent]

@EccentricaGalumbits

The original post was actually about the SD wanting to sleep on the floor for the length of this visit.

No it wasn't. The OP doesn't say this at all

[ChittyChittyBangBangChicken]

... Bed, not need.

[ChittyChittyBangBangChicken]

Yeah, I'd send him and his daughter to the other room and you can share the nice, big need with your own daughter.

He's setting a terrible precedent by letting his daughter dictate where everyone will sleep just because it's what she wants.

[Vanilla1Cookies]

@EccentricaGalumbits
I’m not ignoring anything but op is an adult and not a child and doesn’t get turfed out of her room because a 10 yr old is acting like a baby.

The OH can always go and set up the blow up bed in with his daughter since he’s happy for the OP to do it to accommodate his child whenever she acts up in the middle of the night.

Which again is double standards since her child isn’t allowed to do it.

[EccentricaGalumbits]

I wouldn't want to share a bedroom with a child that isn't mine either.

But I also wouldn't be such a hypocrite as to then expect the child to share with a teenager she also isn't related to when clearly neither of them like that arrangement. Especially when they barely know each other thanks to a flaky off/on again relationship.

[EccentricaGalumbits]

[quote Vanilla1Cookies]@EccentricaGalumbits her teenage girls isn’t even there 50% of the time so she gets the room largely to herself.

I wouldn’t want a 10 year old child that’s not biologically mine in my bedroom at night either! It’s still the OP bedroom. Why doesn’t the dad get of his ass and go and get in bed with his dsd?

She’s 10, not 5. She’s old enough to stay in her own bed and not act like a baby.[/quote]
You're conveniently ignoring the 50% of the time the 15yo IS there.

The OP hasn't clarified whether the SD has the room to herself at the moment or not.

[Vanilla1Cookies]

@EccentricaGalumbits her teenage girls isn’t even there 50% of the time so she gets the room largely to herself.

I wouldn’t want a 10 year old child that’s not biologically mine in my bedroom at night either! It’s still the OP bedroom. Why doesn’t the dad get of his ass and go and get in bed with his dsd?

She’s 10, not 5. She’s old enough to stay in her own bed and not act like a baby.

[Vanilla1Cookies]

@a8mint well the op isn’t her family either yet she’s happy to share with her.

She just sounds like she wants to be awkward.

[Vanilla1Cookies]

I thought she was going to be 4 or 5! Not 10.

No chance would I accept her in my room for 2 weeks when she has her own room.

Your OH sounds like a prat and the double standards he is displaying is ridiculous. Why are you letting him get away with it?

[a8mint]

@Wolframhart

Children don’t become siblings just because their parents decide to move in together. You can’t just impose that relationship. If she isn’t comfortable with the lack of privacy with someone who isn’t a member of her family, then that really should be respected.

Finally, someone with an EQ higher than an amoeba

[EccentricaGalumbits]

@feelingmehtoday

If one of our DC announced they were sleeping in our bed for a fortnight it would be a swift no, you sleep in your own bed.

Exactly! People are only outraged and demanding we think of the "poor" little girl's feelings because she is a from a separated home. If it were their own kids coming into their bedrooms declaring "right I'm sleeping in here with daddy - mummy can you get out of bed", I'd love to see how many say this is appropriate! My guess is not many 🤔

The original post was actually about the SD wanting to sleep on the floor for the length of this visit.

I can understand not wanting to share a bed, but the OP is also unwilling to share a room with this girl. Though she expects her teenaged daughter to do it.

[billy1966]

He is insisting on this in the OP's house😲😳?

Unbelievable.

Your poor children moving a bully in.

What on earth are you thinking of OP?

[User57327259]

I am concerned that the boyfriend has moved into your house and is now dictating who sleeps where.
I agree with PP that you should be living apart and just dating not moved in with each other.
Does the boyfriend have a home of his own?

[Cadent]

Dump the twat!

[QueenBee52]

@TheRedHen2

For the love of god don't post this on the step parenting board!

You will be told to leave the house to accommodate this twattery

You are not being unreasonable!

🤣😂🤣

[TheRedHen2]

For the love of god don't post this on the step parenting board!

You will be told to leave the house to accommodate this twattery

You are not being unreasonable!