AIBU to think either men or their exes are lying about orgasms?!

[samosamo]

So, just listened to today's womans hour - bear with me! All about how only 20% of woman orgasms through vaginally sex alone. I knew this, but the conversation reminded me of conversations I've before when the man has said to me 'but all the women I've slept with before you have (because I so truly refuse to pretend, I think pretending will get neither of us anywhere if a mutual outcome is what were after!).

So, AIBU to think it's either the men, or the women they have been with, who are fibbing??!! Which do you think? (Unless of course, it's true and these men are just mr lover lover guys!!!)

[CHtR]

I’ve always found penetration overrated. So many men are so performance driven that they lose sight of the sensual side of things. It’s like when they kiss too. So hard, so much tongue. I’ve had about 3 good lovers in my life and that’s having had sex with around 30 men. Porn has a lot to answer for.

[samosamo]

Which is why I get confused when people say its all about the pelvic floor and if you strengthen those muscles you'll orgasm more. For me it's in my head!!!

[samosamo]

[quote GrumpyHoonMain]@LakieLady yes - lol that’s what I meant by foreplay. I need a massage and for them not to touch me below the belt at all. It requires me to get into a zone.[/quote]
I'm the same. Thats why it so rarely happens. For me, a vaginal orgasm starts sometimes days before the actual act, a nice word here, a look there, then I'm right in my head. Otherwise it just won't happen....

[DaphneDuBois]

I nearly faint with clitoral orgasms and they sometimes give me cramps in my hands and feet. A mild vaginal tickle or pleasant sensation or a second of two pulsing is not what I call an orgasm so I’ve never massaged a man’s ego and told them that they’ve given me one that way because they haven’t!

[NewYearNewTwatName]

I'm in the 20%. orgasm is not a problem, with or without foreplay.

can I ask though, do you sit on top? I find that the quickest and easiest orgasm, as the clitoris gets at lot of stimulation this way.

[Bionicname]

Why don’t these facts get taught in sex education?

[Cottagepieandpeas]

@Holothane

Oh I had this from my ex apparently non of his other partners complained so I had the problem.

Yep I had this. Literally said ‘I’ve never had any complaints before’

[newnortherner111]

Men don't lie about their performance in bed? Next you'll be telling us the earth is flat!

[ImInStealthMode]

Definitely women faking it, and (some) of the men being willing to believe anything if it makes them feel good.

I've faked it in the past, usually in effort to make them get on with it (who spread the rumour that it always has to go on for literal hours to be good? Not a woman I'd guess ).

Appreciate that all it results in is worse sex for all of us though, and don't do it any more! Glad to have found a rare DP who is always happy to provide, even if/when there's no reciprocal treatment in it for him.

[Holothane]

I’ve never come viganal and never will.

[Holothane]

Oh I had this from my ex apparently non of his other partners complained so I had the problem.

[CyberNan]

i faked it for years... i dont know if he knew but i'm fairly confident he didnt give a shit.

[Lou98]

I think it's mostly women faking it, I have done in the past many times (although not when in a relationship as I don't want to get serious with someone that I wouldn't have enjoyed sex with!)

Although, I do also think a lot of it is men that don't actually check it a woman has "came" and just assumed from the noises etc or just chose to believe that they did

[thighsin]

@Moonmelodies

Is it not normal to be working your clit at the same time, or him doing it?

It is for me, I might orgasm before with oral though or I might orgasm after, doing it myself. But if we want to come together one of us needs to be working away at the clitoris

[Moonmelodies]

Is it not normal to be working your clit at the same time, or him doing it?

[Sparklesocks]

I think it’s a mix. Some women fake but also some men don’t know what an orgasm sounds/feels like - so if their partner is getting into it and being audible etc they might think they’ve crossed the finish line before the final 100m sprint!

[bunglebee]

I'm also in the 20% and I agree that the orgasms are qualitatively different. Vaginal orgasms are shorter and more localised, clitoral ones last longer and spread over more of my body. The really good ones involve both, and I orgasm vaginally much more easily if I've already got off.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

@LakieLady yes - lol that’s what I meant by foreplay. I need a massage and for them not to touch me below the belt at all. It requires me to get into a zone.

[LakieLady]

@GrumpyHoonMain

I’m in the 20% that can, but it takes a lot of foreplay.

I can too, but it takes a lot of patience on the part of a new partner and a willingness to follow instructions!

[PassionPeach]

@babbaloushka

Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm faking or not. It feels nice vaginally, and I can "cum", but it doesn't feel anywhere like a proper clit stimulated orgasm if that makes sense? I don't know if others experience this.

I 100% get you. To me, vaginally it feels more like a mind orgasm, whereas clitoral is a full body experience. I've tried explaining that to my bf but he doesn't quite get it. I am happy with either. I did used to fake it though, especially with my ex. He used to bang away like he was trying to break down a wall. I was young, stupid and thought it was the right thing to do. No way in hell I'd put up with that shit now.

[thighsin]

@GrumpyHoonMain

I’m in the 20% that can, but it takes a lot of foreplay.

It's not the same though is it?

[Goldenphoenix]

It's the fault of porn I reckon, most of it shows women having an orgasm as soon as they start. Bloody liars!

[GrumpyHoonMain]

I’m in the 20% that can, but it takes a lot of foreplay.

[LimeCoconut]

@Magnificentmug12

I was thinking that just the other day!! Cuming (is that the right spelling?) through penetration is nice, like how feeling overwhelmingly happy is nice, but cuming through clit stimulation is like a explosive orgasm- and one men rarely achieve, but I think for a man, cuming is like a clit orgasm, so they have a explosive orgasm every time!!!! No wonder they love it so much 😂

It’s spelled ‘coming’ or ‘cumming’ :)

[Magnificentmug12]

I was thinking that just the other day!! Cuming (is that the right spelling?) through penetration is nice, like how feeling overwhelmingly happy is nice, but cuming through clit stimulation is like a explosive orgasm- and one men rarely achieve, but I think for a man, cuming is like a clit orgasm, so they have a explosive orgasm every time!!!! No wonder they love it so much 😂