I think I've upset my neighbours

[Happilysinglemum]

Last year while I was away for a week my neighbours erected a fence down the middle of a shared drive. This has left me with a drive which is no longer wide enough to open both car doors, which is rather a problem as I have 2 children so my autistic 10 year old ends up having to stand in the road while I get the car out. Around Christmas I approached the housing association who own the properties to ask if they would consider widening part of my drive, it would mean I would loose part of my front garden but at least I'd be able to open the doors. They sent a surveyor within weeks who visited while I was at work, he left a card to say he had been and someone would be in touch.

When I got to March and I still hadn't heard anything I phoned again and asked for the housing officer to ring me as it is ridiculous to keep struggling and I was looking for a decision on my widening or an alternative suggestion. I also explained that I needed to speak to him as the horizontal rail is overhanging my side of the drive and blocking me from replacing my fence, it is only the horizontal rails, the posts are lined up with the boundary line.

He never phoned me back and due to Easter and work I have yet to chase.

This morning I received a letter from the housing association telling me a surveyor has examined the fence, it is constructed correctly and they have no issues with its location. I have never suggested it is not constructed correctly.

I tried to speak to my neighbour this afternoon, while not outwardly rude she told me the HA had told her I had complained and that her fence was fine and was going nowhere, I pointed out that her fence was blocking the end of mine and she offered to move that rail when I change the fence.

Where do I go from here? I feel that the landlord has created a potential neighbour dispute in speaking to my neighbour and not me.

[Myfriendsays]

Why dont you just use your common sense and cut your grass back by the width of a paving slab and put a row of paving slabs along the edge. Then go round to your neighbour ( who I am sure you want to stay on good terms with) and explain that there has been a misunderstanding with HA. Its always better to have good neighbours than being at war with them.

[Bluntness100]

@TimeForTeaAndG

If its an actual shared drive then why didn't you speak to the neighbour when you got home and the fence had been put up? Ask why it had been erected without your knowledge/agreement?

It’s clearly not a shared drive as the ha has sent a surveyor and they’ve stated it is correct

And she did basically complain about the fence, she said it wasn’t erected correctly and blocked her fence. The surveyor has done nothing wrong.

[Tunaandbobby]

I think I would write a note and post it through the neighbours door just saying that the HA has got the wrong end of the stick and that you have never made a complaint about their fence. Your query was could your drive be made wider. I’d want to keep a good relationship with my neighbours and wouldn’t want any ill feelings. If they won’t speak to you then write it down.

[TimeForTeaAndG]

If its an actual shared drive then why didn't you speak to the neighbour when you got home and the fence had been put up? Ask why it had been erected without your knowledge/agreement?

[Thamigumathacharaid]

I just don't see why this would be an issue for the HA. OP's child walked cat poo into the house on one occasion and OP has had surveyor's contacted, numerous departments working on this all because of a piece of grass? Why can't the OP sort it out herself? I'm not surprised the neighbour erected a fence if this type of entitled behaviour is typical.

Also, OP, if you don't want to put down gravel/sort the problem out yourself. Just ensure that your children remove their shoes before entering the house. Surely this is far easier than the drama you have caused?

[spaceghetto]

Chopped garlic on the grass is a great deterrent for cats.

[victoriaspongecake]

Whichever way you go into the drive at the moment go in opposite way then you will be on the grassy side and can look out for car poo??
And put some flags or plastic caravan mat tiles down?

[Osirus]

@Happilysinglemum

Thanks, if I park further over then one of the children is getting out onto the grass, did that initially until one of the children walked cat poo into the house.

That’s a one off event. Just keep doing this? You have a solution right here.

[HalzTangz]

@Happilysinglemum

Thanks, if I park further over then one of the children is getting out onto the grass, did that initially until one of the children walked cat poo into the house.

Chop out a strip of gras and put in gravel, problem solved

[Incywincyspinsters]

Oh I’m late to this party. What everyone else said.

[Incywincyspinsters]

@Happilysinglemum

Thanks, if I park further over then one of the children is getting out onto the grass, did that initially until one of the children walked cat poo into the house.

Ok, I’m out.

Why exactly is a child getting out onto grass a problem?

[Barney60]

Agree with bluntness 100. Had same issue years ago, just got someone to lay some slabs along lawn edge, problem solved.

[HerMammy]

@Happilysinglemum
Why can’t the kids be in one side and scoot over?
How is this even an issue 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Neonprint]

You're just making this way more difficult than it needs to be. Are you seriously making all this fuss because you don't wnat to step on the grass?

[worriedatthemoment]

@hannayeah what perimeter has been altered though ? The neighbour has just put a fence up on her side
Previously in order to open both doors the Op used to open over neighbours drive and I assume got out on neighbours drive , prob why the neighbour put up the fence to stop them going in their drive

[worriedatthemoment]

Are you saying you can't open doors both sides of the car or can only open front ?
If you can open front and back door and one side whats the issue as you surely just get out that side ?

[Beseigedbykillersquirrels]

@Bluepumpkinwife

100% housing association. If they have accepted the request for neighbours to Utrecht a fence meaning OP couldnt open both car doors then they need to now correct the issue. They own the property and have a duty of care to make sure the tenants can use the drive.

How is she not able to use the drive, though? There is plenty of space for her to open both car doors at once. How is the OP's preference for making her SEN child stand in a road rather than put a foot on her own lawn remotely the HA's responsibility?

[emilyfrost]

@Bluepumpkinwife

100% housing association. If they have accepted the request for neighbours to Utrecht a fence meaning OP couldnt open both car doors then they need to now correct the issue. They own the property and have a duty of care to make sure the tenants can use the drive.

She can use the drive perfectly fine. She just doesn’t want to step on the grass

[Bluepumpkinwife]

100% housing association. If they have accepted the request for neighbours to Utrecht a fence meaning OP couldnt open both car doors then they need to now correct the issue. They own the property and have a duty of care to make sure the tenants can use the drive.

[momtoboys]

@viques

Shouldn’t there be a diagram since this is technically a parking thread?

LOLOLOL! I was thinking the same thing!

[Beseigedbykillersquirrels]

I just can't believe that the OP would risk her vulnerable child's safety by making them stand in a road rather than having a quick scan of the grass as she pulls up onto the drive to check there is no faeces on it before they get out of the car. All that, plus expecting/believing she is entitled to thousands of pounds worth of work being done because she believes it is not acceptable to not be able to use her neighbour's land or have her children step on grass.
As for 'that' email - seriously do not send anything like that. It is hideously written and utterly ridiculous.
I'm amazed you believe it is the HA's responsibility in the first place. They do not owe you a home suited to your every specific requirement.

[GroovyPeanut]

Slabs?
Plastic Grid?
Disposable Shoe covers?
Putting other kids in and leaving the side clear for your Son?
Making your Son stand in the road is just plain irresponsible and silly!

All these options could have been applied, instead waiting months for the HA to respond and check the fence. It was the fence you complained about, you've said that in your OP

All you've gained is
You've upset your neighbours
Made unrealistic demands/ costs from your Landlord
Caused unnecessary drama by making your poor son stand in the road.
I'd just quit now, before you get yourself into more strife.

[Shrivelled]

4 pages in and still no diagram?!!

[MichelleScarn]

I would contact them again and ask them are they going to take responsibility for your autistic child having to get out of the car before being on the drive? I find this works when you ask them to take responsibility. They should extend the drive for your childs safety. could you explain this more succinctly as to who you are landing responsibility for OPs child on, neighbours or HA? Its ops choice to do this, as they don't want child to step on lawn as there might be cat poo...

[emilyfrost]

@Bluepumpkinwife You are joking, yes? The only person responsible for OP’s child is herself.

Nothing to do with the neighbour who has every right to put up a fence on her side.

The child does not need to stand in the road, they can stand on the grass.