To ask what the position is with taking babies home from hospital?

[scoopingthewater]

Do you need a car seat? What if you don’t drive?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

@Regularsizedrudy

You’re being very spiky op

No she isn't. She's just challenging people who are (incorrectly) telling others they have to have a car seat

[pinknsparkly]

If you're thinking of taking baby home in a baby carrier then check with your hospital beforehand. Our hospital were very clear that baby could ONLY leave in a pushchair or carseat - baby carriers/slings weren't allowed. Husband took baby home in pushchair and I took a taxi

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

@pinknsparkly

If you're thinking of taking baby home in a baby carrier then check with your hospital beforehand. Our hospital were very clear that baby could ONLY leave in a pushchair or carseat - baby carriers/slings weren't allowed. Husband took baby home in pushchair and I took a taxi

They cannot do this! They can't dictate how you leave or keep you in like a prisoner.

These policies really smack of the recurring problem in healthcare in this country of HCPs infantilising grown women

[mooncakes]

@pinknsparkly

If you're thinking of taking baby home in a baby carrier then check with your hospital beforehand. Our hospital were very clear that baby could ONLY leave in a pushchair or carseat - baby carriers/slings weren't allowed. Husband took baby home in pushchair and I took a taxi

They recommended a pushchair or car seat but they can’t enforce that - you can take your own child home however you like. The police weren’t going to show up to drag the baby from your arms into a pram.

[itsgettingweird]

I don't think op is being defensive but I gave birth abroad where they are less nannyish of parents and actually trust them!

I had an extended rear facing seat that was fitted in the car. We then had another portable one that grandparents kept.

I drove and DP didn't.

My parents etc were over when I had ds and they drove me home from hospital. They used the spare seat. I walked ds to car in my arms whilst dp carried the bags and my parents the flowers and gifts!

No one once questioned my ability to travel my baby safely

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Going on from what I've said about infantilising women - I think a lot of women just accept this dictatorial tone because we've been conditioned to
A. Do as we are told, and
B. We don't know what's best for us and have to be told what's best for us.

Anyone who comes across a policy like this needs to challenge it, it's not enforceable and it's shameful that hospitals make out like it is.

[Thespottytortoise]

I'm the weird sort of person who would have felt fine going home in the bus, with baby in a sling after a planned section, because I don't drive, and I'm really used to using public tranport even if I feel rubbish. Though actually I felt pretty much fine, though I wouldn't have wanted to stand if the bus was crowded. But I'd not have been able to carry my bag and baby's bag as well, do it would have been a last resort. As it was, my husband drives, and drive us home, but I was happily popping on and off buses a week or so later.

I'd have done it over a taxi, as I'm on a direct bus route to the hospital, but obviously not as easy as a car.

I think you are being defnesive as most people were clear from the outset that it's not a rule, but you kept on pushing about it.

You go home from the hospital however you want. Just because it's unusual doesn't mean it's wrong. Just if it's going to be walking/public transport, have a back up in case you feel terrible, and not upto it.

[Meepmeeep]

We were asked how we were getting home and confirmed that we had a car seat. I got my discharge notes before my husband arrived so we were free to go without any checks. This was last year - before the corona.

[Forgotit]

We got the train with one and the bus with another - I would recommend train over the bus, if you have a choice. Train was a lot quieter and the bus was busy (pre-covid, London, evening normality) and quite a surreal experience, and as others have said the walk each end was a bit woozy/achy. No issues with us leaving with the baby in a pram though.

[HallieKnight]

My friend walked home with her newborn in a sling. Midwife's, doctor's never bat an eye so it's probably fairly common

[scoopingthewater]

A friend once had something similar I think with picking her young children up from school. She wanted to walk the dog as well but obviously the dog couldn’t be allowed on the school playground so she was waiting across the way. The children could see her and were saying to the teacher ‘but she is THERE!’ but they insisted she had to physically have the children handed to her. That was wrong too.

[Chewbecca]

No, you don't have to show a car seat, that would be daft. They do check how you are getting home & do ensure it is safe.

It is pretty normal to go in a car. I couldn't have walked or bussed on my journey home.

[scoopingthewater]

I wasn’t ‘pushing’ at all! I was asking / answering questions!

[BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze]

You’re being very spiky op

Agreed. Rude. People were trying to help.

[SmudgeButt]

@Dishwashersaurous

If they can’t afford a pram or car seat then how are they going to pay for the child?

Most people have eight months between finding out pregnant and baby arrives

I quite agree but even 8 months notice won't be sufficient for people living in poverty. What it they just lost their job? Just left an abusive relationship?

[Speechiebaby]

Most people, having just given birth would not walk or get a bus. I remember struggling to walk to the car following my first. So yes you need one for your own car or a lift.

[scoopingthewater]

Okay bad, do feel free to post elsewhere then. I’m so sorry I made you post.

[gamerchick]

@scoopingthewater

So every mother who gives birth lives with someone who has a car? No one takes the bus or walks anywhere?

They usually get a taxi back. Do up honestly think you'll be up for taking public transport or walking home? If you sail through the birth you might at a push. But even the most easiest of births I wouldn't have got a bus or walked home.

[LemonsYellow]

I never had a car seat. We didn’t have a car. I took the baby home in a sling on the bus. I don’t think anyone checked.

[Chewbecca]

I think sharing your story / context would be helpful.

[scoopingthewater]

@Chewbecca

I think sharing your story / context would be helpful.

I have!

[Thespottytortoise]

I think there's an assumption on MN that women aren't able to do much in the first few days/weeks after having a baby. For many that's true, and a lot of women do feel like exhausted and in pain, and very tearful and not upto a lot. Others feel fine, and most probably somewhere in between. For a first baby especially, you aren't likely to know which of those you fall into.

I know women that literally walked up mountains happily in their third trimester, whereas I was largely housebound. I know others who didn't feel able (mentally or physically) to leave the house for weeks, whereas I had to be talked out of popping to the supermarket on my way home. Some of the women that took ages to recover had straightforward vaginal births, I had sections, which people often think take longer to recover from (for some they do, some they don't). You may as well roll a dice as to how you'll be feeling, but assuming you'll feel awful is probably no more accurate than assuming you'll feel great. Keep decisions fluid where you can, and follow your body.

[JacobReesMogadishu]

@scoopingthewater

Thanks premium

It’s a hypothetical discussion to a point but I genuinely was curious. I was fairly sure you couldn’t actually be prevented from leaving the hospital without a car seat!

Definition can’t be stopped no matter what the hospital policy is. Midwives have no power of detainment or arrest. If a midwife thinks a baby is at risk they can call the police and ask the police to intervene......they’re not going to do that for a mother walking home with her baby in a pram.

[Twizbe]

@scoopingthewater

Feel free to post elsewhere twiz.

I don’t think I’ve stopped you.

Was that for me?

Was my first post not useful for you?

[FightingWithTheWind]

You should have a car seat for your baby regardless of whether or not you drive. If you ever need to call an ambulance for your baby they do prefer the baby to be in a car seat (obviously they will take you without one but when my daughter had a fit at 4 months, the paramedics wanted her in her car seat). As others have said it isn't just for the journey home, there are other times you might need one too, car seats can be bought quite cheaply which is fine if they aren't being used regularly so not being able to afford one/not wanting to 'waste' money is no excuse. Babies are expensive, we all know this and most of us have at least 8 months to save and get what they need. You never know if you might need a c-section, in which case it wouldn't be advisable to be pushing a heavy pram so soon afterwards, so you would have to get a taxi and the baby would have to be in a car seat then.