There's an article in the DF about being nice to the receptionist at a job interview

[fancyginglass]

Some rubbish article in the DF today but it reminded me of a conversation I had with a summer student who came in to work. He was at Uni and had massive plans to be a high flyer but he told me his mum had told him that you have to be nice to everyone at an interview including the receptionist. I said to him why would you treat the receptionist any different - no one is any better than anyone else. What a self entitled little prat who actually gave up Uni a year later. Does someone actually need to be told this stuff?

[Smallsteps88]

Well I suppose if you’ve raised an arsehole there comes a point where you realise you need to send them out in to the world to earn a living and have to show them how to pretend they’re not an arsehole until the jobs in the bag.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"Also be careful who you meet on the way up as you will also meet them on the way down."

Someone I know enjoyed going back to his old council colleagues where he'd temped and was now a councillor.

[Benjispruce2]

I work in school. We always invite candidates to lunch with us (staff room) and everyone chats. Head asks us afterwards what we thought.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@Benjispruce2

I work in school. We always invite candidates to lunch with us (staff room) and everyone chats. Head asks us afterwards what we thought.

Quite unfair on shier people who aren't good at small talk, but who might be good teachers.

[june2007]

REggiecat so she didn,t get the job because they suggested a secretary should answer a phone?? Bit unreasonable doen,t you think.

[Lolapusht]

@CaveMum

Some people do need to be told unfortunately. We interviewed for a role in our small company (4 people) a few years ago. Part of the interview (marketing role) involved being asked to write up a press release whilst sat in the same office as our junior admin assistant. He was asked after the interviews what he thought of each candidate and he reported that several had been downright rude to him. Needless to say those people were not considered for the role.

That sounds amazing! Can I come and work for you?!

[Allergictoironing]

I worked for a while for a company that were the most entitled bunch of pricks I have ever met. We were in serviced offices (think Regus, SSCL), in a building where the building owners used the lower floors and the shared services company's offices were the upper floors.

I worked very hard at developing a good relationship with both the shared services managers/reception, and those of the owners whose meeting rooms we often hired. When I left, both the shared services company and the building owners said not only would they not do any favours for the company I'd worked for, but would put them at the bottom of the list for everything as I was the only one who hadn't been rude to them. During my last week there (yes, they made me work every second of my notice period), I'd passed the building liaison onto someone else and you could see the difference in service from both other companies - rooms not available (even when they were), deadlines very strictly adhered to for ordering stuff (e.g. min 48 hours notice for catering, when I could sometimes arrange it at 5pm the day before), post just kept at reception for collection rather than calling me to say it was there etc.

On my last day, I was told by my contact for the building owners that they weren't going to rent meeting & conference rooms to my employers after I was gone, due to the rudeness and entitlement.

[CallmeAngelina]

I remember once, years ago now, answering the landline at home and a curt, brusque voice said, "John Smith, please," as if I was some lowly (in his eyes) minion at work.
I was so taken aback at being summoned in this way to call dh in my own home (about a squash game), that I just said, "ExCUSE me?" in my best teacher voice back.
He at least had the grace to apologise and re-phrase it more politely.

[chomalungma]

I think though that one of the issues with getting feedback from other staff is that bias might come into it.

How do you overcome any prejudices and even unconscious bias that the staff who they interact with have towards people and reflect that back when being asked for feedback?

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Do As You Would Be Done By, is always a very good rule to follow.

[unchienandalusia]

well known theatre director used to pose as the tea boy to see how the actors treated him when they didn't know who he was. Anyone who acted like a shit didn't get further in the audition process.

[chomalungma]

Did anyone ever watch that TV programme when they disguised the Chief Executive who then worked in different parts of the organisation to see how people behaved and interacted.

I guess some of the staff sussed it - but you could see some who had no idea how they came across to other staff and customers with their behaviour.

[sashh]

She realises now what I meant as some of her colleagues are so rude and entitled so naturally the nurses don’t go out of their way to be helpful to them .

Ah the 4.00am call to write up a paracetamol vs the 9.00 am, "Here's a coffee, I know you had a rough on call".

I worked in Oxford for a couple of years, a lot of Oxford grad junior Dr are just not used to not being 'the best'.

One junior Dr refused to attend a test until he was ready. Not a problem, I called the secretary to ask if another junior Dr could help, The patient had an appointment time and I wasn't going to have him wait. The consultant answered the phone and decided to come and supervise himself.

The junior doctor's face when he walked in was a picture, and the consultant told him to go carry on with whatever was so important.


I said something to a class about them being dirty leaving chewing gum under desks for X to clean.

Who's X miss?
She's the cleaner
Sneary face, You know the cleaner's name?

Yes I do and there is nothing wrong with being a cleaner and it doesn't matter who is cleaning it they shouldn't be leaving it for someone else.

The best compliment I got was from a work colleague who is now a good friend, but as colleagues she said, "You ask me to do things in a way that makes me want to do it"

[Odile13]

I agree OP, it is bizarre that some people need to be told to be nice to people who aren’t in senior positions. It’s natural to me to be friendly to all.

It reminds me of a post I saw on social media by an author a few years ago. He told the story of chatting to a taxi driver during a journey and being surprised by how they got on and discussed politics. The post ended by telling people to talk to service workers and be friendly to them as they have lives and dreams as well. I was staggered and it really put me off him. I don’t need to be told that service workers are people too and we should be friendly to them! I wonder if it’s a social background thing. Perhaps the author comes from a privileged background and was taught to look down on other people.

[MitziK]

@chomalungma

I think though that one of the issues with getting feedback from other staff is that bias might come into it.

How do you overcome any prejudices and even unconscious bias that the staff who they interact with have towards people and reflect that back when being asked for feedback?

Surely it's spreading the risk of the interviewer's prejudices and unconscious bias being the sole driver of decisionmaking?

After all, a white, middleclass man in his late fifties might not see the way the candidate who is a white, middleclass man in his late fifties visibly recoils when a young, black woman smiles and says hello on Reception then interrupts her when she's taking a call to demand a coffee, how the candidate shoves his way through the door in front of the caretaker and lets the lift door close in the face of the 61 year old Office Manager, as will the PA who is taking him to the meeting room.


One job I got was on the basis of the way I interacted with others/reacted to interruptions during a practical skills test - the morning candidate was ideally suited on paper, but I got the job.

[Fruitloopcowabunga]

I think it's helpful to be told this. Lots of people are very nervous before interviews and might be very much wrapped up in themselves, going over what they're going to say, trying to second guess the questions etc. Without meaning to, they could come over as stand-offish and unfriendly so worth a gentle reminder that it's all the people in the organisation you could end us working with, not just those interviewing you.

[nosswith]

I wonder if Michael Gove has read the article given that his wife works for the said publication?

Mind you, I would not be surprised if he treats everyone the same, rudely to everyone.

[Sunnydayhere]

@Marmite27

I wear jeans, a fleece and walking trainers to the office quite regularly. My 3 grades removed junior is a man who wears suits (it’s a wear what you feel comfortable in office). The amount of people who come into our office and assume he’s the boss was amusing to start with, now it just pusses me off.

Still I’m the one making the decisions, so I get the last laugh.

Before retirement my HOD was a younger female.

When visitors came in they quite often spoke to me first assuming that being male and older I was in charge.

It didn’t bother me, and as I dealt with it promptly and pleasantly, hope it didn’t upset her.

Some years ago Sir Keith Joseph visited our school to open a room/pay a visit. He was then minister for education.

He made a point of speaking to everyone and at one point disappeared across the room - he was having a conversation with Kevin, the caretaker.

Quite unlike John Gummer who, paid a similar visit some years later. He didn’t deign to speak to teachers let alone the caretaker.

Impressions and behaviour counts.

[SpaceOp]

It's actually very sad how many people DO need to be told this.

I rocketed to the top of a candidate list for a job at a big international organisation after I made polite chit chat with the person who came to pick me up from reception. Turned out she would be working for me and the other candidates had been downright rude, including one who'd got their phone out and ignored her.

Subsequently at that job I was promoted. I had a small team and we were part of a bigger team where although the others didn't report to me, I was the most senior person on the floor - the overall boss sat in an office. Our roles meant that all calls had to be answered so if you were on a call/out, someone else would answer. Usually one of the team assistants but if they were busy the most junior person available would answer. I therefore did very little phone answering but of course would do so if I was the only one around. It never ceased to amaze me how if the person ringing didn't know who I was, they would be rude on the assumption that I was the PA. Individuals who my colleagues told me were "lovely" I'd subsequently discover, on chatting to the team assistants, were awful.

[pigsDOfly]

I'm not sure it's helpful to point out to people that they should be polite to the receptionist when going to a job interview.

If they're rude it'll show up at the time and hopefully the receptionist will say something to the interviewer.

If however, they behave like a decent human being just on that day in order to get the job their unpleasant personality will show up eventually, but buy that time they might be working in the company and the junior staff, and the receptionist, are going to have to put up with the person's rudeness every day rather than just on the day of the interview.

I hate rudeness like that.

[Coffeeoverload]

Has someone clipped it out and sent it to Priti Patel? 😆

[Eckhart]

The people who need to be told are the people who won't listen, so there's little point in telling them.

[KarmaNoMore]

Shame that they need to be told but sadly, widely necessary.

[110APiccadilly]

I was nice to the receptionist (I do try to be nice to everyone). Several years later, we're good friends (yes, I did get the job). Why would you want to start off on the wrong foot with anyone in your new company??

I work somewhere with security. I'm nice to them too. Because they're people, they're looking after us, and they deserve to be treated like human beings. But also, you'd be an idiot (and we have some) to be nasty to them. Guess who gets told where the last car parking spaces left are? Guess who gets (pre-Covid) to wait in the nice warm security hut, not outside in the rain if they forget their pass? And so on!!

[sunsalutations]

Recruit on the attitude, train the skill ...