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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another mil one, isn't that what this topic is for!

43 replies

miltrouble · 16/10/2007 15:48

Ok so before I go ranting to dp about his mum again I just wanted to check what everybody else thought here.

Mil turns up and asks if she can take DD to the soft play down the road for 30 mins (lovely I get a nice break).

2 hrs later and no sign of either of them, so I called mil and she tells me they are just at Tesco and will be back in a minute.

When they get back DD is looking very undressed and just has mil neckscarf tied around her bum . I presumed she had just had an accident (which hardly ever happens hence no change of clothes with her) and mil says 'oh no she did it after we had been at soft play for 20 mins'.

So it turns out that DD has been playiing in soft play for over an hour with just a neck scarf tied around her bum flashing her flower and bum at everyone and I dont even want to think of the hygeine thing. Mil then took her to tesco and dd was running around there and sitting in the trolley for 30 mins still with no clothes on.

I don't get why mil didn't just bring her home after she had the accident, I get that she didn't want DD to be disappointed but she could've just got more clothes for her here and I am really not happy about DD running around Tesco with barely any clothes on.

So am being unreasonable at being really pissed off with her for not just bringing her back or would you have done the same thing? DD is 2 by the way.

TIA

OP posts:

worzsel · 16/10/2007 15:53

I would be pissed off too. My mil would have got something out of the awefull clothes stash she has hidden at her house..

MrsMcSpooky · 16/10/2007 15:56

YANBU - I would be FURIOUS how irresponsible of your MIL, can she not see how inappropriate that is from so many angles?!

Fireflyfairy2 · 16/10/2007 15:57

Do you think she was afraid that if she brought her home for a change of clothes you wouldn't have let them go back to softplay again?

Sounds like she wanted to keep her out as long as possible. Does she see much of your dd?

I for one would be annoyed that my chold had been running around with a scarf round her bum!

Dawnybabe · 16/10/2007 15:57

I was thinking, well ok, perhaps, until I got to the end and read that dd is TWO!!

YANBU. I would have had a bit of a row with the mil, to be honest. Has she got no brains? How bloody warm does she think the middle of October is, for a start? And do you really want your toddler showing her bits to every stranger in town? No. I would explain that you are actually quite shocked and horrified by her complete lack of sense, and that you will have to be in on all visits from now on. If she can't see that that isn't really very nice, what else has she been up to? Sorry if that sounds harsh but I'd be a bit reluctant to trust her judgement from now on.
Hope dd peed all over her car!

Lulumama · 16/10/2007 15:58

oh dear

surely would have been better to ask another mum at soft play for a spare nappy

i am surprsied that staff at soft play tolerated naked bottomed play

Budababe · 16/10/2007 15:59

OMG - so your poor DD was wandering around practically naked for almost 2 hours in OCTOBER?

Could your MIL not have bought her some clothes in Tesco if she didn't want to bring her home.

Very odd. I would be furious.

Dawnybabe · 16/10/2007 15:59

When I say ok perhaps, I was imagining a baby wrapped all up in a pashmina-type thing. Now I read it again, perhaps not....

witchandchips · 16/10/2007 15:59

do you think dd would prefer to have come back though?. Was she cold?

Original poster

miltrouble · 16/10/2007 16:02

Well yes I am furious, but was keeping the op balanced in the interests of fairness to mil

She looked bloody ridiculous and I can't believe the soft play people didn't say 'um she can't play in here with no knickers or trousers on'. Plus if she had already had one wee there was every chance she would do it again. I just can't believe she paraded her around tesco dressed like that.

Firefly, she does see DD quite a bit and I would've been more than happy for her to take her back out, it was a lovely break

OP posts:

Original poster

miltrouble · 16/10/2007 16:04

I will be having a word with mil this evening and I will tell her that I am not comfortable with DD being out like that and in future I would want her to be brought home.

Just thought I would check first that I wasn't being ott, it has been known

OP posts:

frankie3 · 16/10/2007 16:04

I would have also been very upset and angry at this. Especially if your local soft play is as dirty as mine. Also, your DS could have caught the scarf on something while playing, and bare bottoms on slides are not great! She should have left the soft play early and bought your DS some cheap trousers while in Tesco.

Pollyanna · 16/10/2007 16:06

I don't think I would be at all angry tbh. It is a bit odd that the staff allowed it and that your mil thought that it was ok/didn't think to ask for another nappy, but it isn't embarrassing for your dd - she is only 2. I would just think it a bit strange.

TheStepfordChav · 16/10/2007 16:07

Apart from the nakedness issue, I would be angry about her telling you 30 mins & then taking her away for 2 hours. What if you'd had plans?

Who in their right mind takes a dch to Tesco anyway of they don't have to? And wasn't she worried about leaving her with no nappy for all that time? Couldn't she have bought some nappies in Tesco? Do you think she thought she was helping you by keeping her out? Seem to be lots of questions!!! But it doesn't add up. YANBU.

Habbibu · 16/10/2007 16:09

Pollyanna - maybe not embarrassing - but COLD! It's the middle of October...

WriggleJiggle · 16/10/2007 16:10

Bit strange behaviour from MIL. I have expeced her to buy something cheap from Tesco to wear if she hadn't wanted to come home. I'm sure they sell t-shirts and trousers for one or two pounds.

muppetgirl · 16/10/2007 16:14

I would not be happy at all whatever her 'reasoning'
Running around in the back garden in the buff is one thing but not at soft play THEN Tesco's.
What does your dh say?

kimibobbingforapples · 16/10/2007 16:16

If MIL takes her out again I think you should send a change of clothes with her.

I would be very cross if I were you, it is not acceptable to let a child go around bottomless.

Original poster

miltrouble · 16/10/2007 16:18

Tesco, is no where near soft play so she wouldn't of gone there to get more clothes and once they were there she didn't bother i'm guessing because she was bringing her home afterwards.

I think she did stay out later because she wanted to give me a break which I appreciate but not so happy with the whole no clothes thing.

And it was an ugly scarf

OP posts:

Original poster

miltrouble · 16/10/2007 16:18

Sorry for typos am breastfeeding

OP posts:

mimi03 · 16/10/2007 16:21

would be very pissed off at mil. practicly naked for 2hrs in october? if nothing else ppl must have been staring in tescos thinking she was mad! i am paranoid (perhaphs unreasonably) about weirdos out there who may be looking for the wrong reasons.

witchandchips · 16/10/2007 16:24

sorry think i am a bit of a minority here but i don't think mil has behaved that badly. She wan't naked, she wasn't cold, she had fun. Yes okay perhaps they should have nipped home to get more clothes but maybe dd was having too much fun.

pointydog · 16/10/2007 16:27

I think you're being very harsh on mil. Ok, there were perhaps better options but it's really not that big a deal. SOund slike dd had a nice time.

pointydog · 16/10/2007 16:28

ah, there's witch said the same thing

Starbear · 16/10/2007 16:28

Sounds like my mum. Is she scared of you? My mum is terrified of me. I think this can make her not think straight. Don't be too hard on her. Just talk it through calmly. Check in future if she really wants the little one for out longer. I think we can really be hard on granny and they love the company of our kids. See another thread I think my mum's drinking and looking after Ds really heart breaking to find out yesterday had a big big row really don't know what to do as she loves Ds so much.

Starbear · 16/10/2007 16:31

I think I should have put some full stops in the last post. I am heart broken to find this out from my sister and nephew, yesterday.
Don't know what to do?

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