to cry after sex

[user780143]

Have a good relationship with DH, but for the past 6 months or so whenever we have sex I end up crying after and I don't know why.
Im not a crier usually. Why is this happening?

[Phrowzunn]

Oh I get this sometimes! Usually if it has been particularly ‘intense’. My DH just cuddles me until it passes and we usually end up laughing at the ridiculousness of it. You just have to let it out though otherwise you feel way worse. I wouldn’t worry, I think it’s just a huge rush of hormones overwhelming you. I’d imagine it to be relatively common..?

[EarthSight]

Unless you have deep issues (which sounds like you don't) it's probably a neurochemical change after orgasm, but it can happen anyway.

[Emeraldshamrock]

It sounds like an emotional experience a time when you feel vulnerable.

[yelyah22]

Oh I do this occasionally! Just a response to all the intimacy and hormones I think. OH thinks it's quite funny (afterwards - he's very nice at the time).

[BlenheimOrange]

I think this has happened to people for millennia: www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1992-07-13-9203030441-story.html

[BubblyBarbara]

That article linked earlier in the thread has a therapist implying it's caused by trauma which seems a bit unfair to me? The choice part:

"Are you engaged in sex you don't want? Are you trying to use sex to get something different out of your relationship? Do you feel good about your partner? Are you enjoying the sex you have? Have you experienced sexual abuse or trauma in the past?"

[Candyfloss99]

I cry after a really good orgasm. It must be the hormones that are released.

[AfterSchoolWorry]

I didn't know this was a thing. 😳 I would be worried sick if someone cried like that after sex.

[Enrico]

Is he a bit shit in bed? That would make me feel sad.

[suggestionsplease1]

I have this on occasion after orgasm with a partner, can be just a really intense emotional experience. I guess it is a sadness, but in a good way if that makes any sense. Really hard to explain but it's not something that worries me or makes me feel bad or wish that it didn't happen.

[HattonsMustard]

I do it too, usually after an incredibly intense orgasm (or two in a row). Sometimes I feel sad that maybe other people don't enjoy sex or have this kind of connection and euphoria. I have friends in sexless marriages, their choice.

I am very happily married, Dh is amazing in bed and otherwise, I don't think it is anything worrying I just think that after the high I sometimes feel the low.

[justasking111]

@thistimelastweek

La petit mort?

That is what I thought

[frewer]

Not only tearful, but sometimes slightly nauseous too. We were very happily married.

[U2HasTheEdge]

@CurlyhairedAssassin

How interesting to read others say they've experienced the same. For those that experience sadness with crying afterwards, does it affect your desire to have sex in the first place, if you know you will probably feel sad afterwards?

No.

It's more of a release really. I think it is so normal for me that I don't think much of it. I feel that overwhelming emotion, have a cry then after a few minutes I am back to normal.

There has been times where I have started crying after sex which has lasted a long time. Usually that is when I am bottling things up and haven't realised how much something is getting to me. DH is desperate to sleep at that point but there I am having an epiphany.

[U2HasTheEdge]

@AfterSchoolWorry

I didn't know this was a thing. 😳 I would be worried sick if someone cried like that after sex.

Yeah my husband completely panicked the first time.

I was like shit sorry, I forgot to warn you that would happen!

[MarkRuffaloCrumble]

Like others have said, I sometimes get this, but usually after a very intense session and a massive orgasm, it’s more of a release than a sadness. I also sometimes get a blinding headache just after I climax, which is the worst! But I think the headache thing is related to anemia as it seems better when I’ve taken my supplements properly. The crying could well be hormonal or something, I imagine there’s quite a lot going on inside at that point!

[TenShortStories]

Is the sadness related to anything or just that sort of non-specific sadness that suddenly makes you cry for no apparent reason, like when depressed?

[notalwaysalondoner]

I was going to say, the french phrase “le petit mort” sums this up - the little death, the feeling of intense connection followed by intense feelings of loss or grief. I had this a number of times in my first year or so of being with DH (also my first sexual partner). I think it was a combination of hormones and deep emotional connection. Haven’t had it since. I wouldn’t read too much into it and just accept it is evidence of the hormonal and emotional upheaval that can be caused by sex. The change from your past feelings may be random or may be caused by maybe menopause or childbirth or something else affecting your hormones, but I would try to just accept it and not get too upset by it.

[CaraDuneRedux]

I think it's been recognised as a "thing" for a very long time - there's a quote attributed to Galen: "post coitum, omne animalium triste est" (after coitus, all animals are sad). How the quotation continues is a bit more up for grabs, with some sources saying "except cockerels and women" and others saying "including cockerels and women"

I guess it's some sort of neurochemical reaction to oxytocin or other neurotransmitters released during orgasm.

www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1992-07-13-9203030441-story.html

So long as neither you and your DH are worried by it, and you enjoy the cuddles of him comforting you, it's probably fine.

[BertieBotts]

Used to happen to me! I have only just realised that I haven't done it for ages actually.

How weird.

No it didn't put me off having sex because it was always very fleeting and more of a release than anything really. Also it is quite nice to have a caring bf/DH cuddle you during it

It felt completely different to the (rare) times I cried because the sex was bad or cold or didn't feel quite consensual, if that makes sense.

[freeandfierce]

This has happened to me when it's been incredibly intense, it's like a release because I feel overwhelmed by the emotion and feeling.

[PerfectionistProcrastinator]

I have this sometimes. I hate it because I think it must be quite off putting.

For me I don’t feel sad or overwhelmed. I think it’s simply from my body getting worked up and a result of tense muscles. It happens more if I don’t reach climax so I think it’s my body trying to release or something.

[mswales]

I cry when I have a really intense orgasm plus really strong emotions for the person I’ve just had it with. It’s only happened a dozen or so times and it’s always made me feel like what’s just happened is really special. I’ve read that crying after orgasms is a thing, about the physical release mixed with the rush of endorphins and seratonin I think

[LookMoreCloselier]

Is your name Juliet?

[Justaboy]

My now ex wife used to do that on some osccasions but it was related ot how good a "wobble" she had! The stonger the earth moved the more intense the crying which didnt last long, she could never put her finger on what it was but seemed more happy than sad.

La petit mort?

Don't think thats quite the same thing, similar but not the same, that did happened well it would do as she was French! but it least for her wasnt that same as the crying events..