Your experience of nursing/breastfeeding covers/shawls

[Cocacolathanks]

Hello,

Are you currently using nursing covers/breastfeeding shawls? Or have you used them in the past?

Are they any good? Would you recommend to other mums? Also, is there anything annoying/negative about them?

I've not used them before but want to know if they're useful to other mums.


Thank you! :)

[Zhampagne]

@Mosschopz

No! I kind of judged women who used them when I was BF’ing...kinda prudish, looked like such a faff and was a big physical announcement that you were feeding your baby, not discreet at all.

Wow, what a coincidence. I kind of judge women who have the headspace to form an opinion on other women’s feeding choices in a society where female nipples are consistently sexualised and breastfeeding rates are already rock-bottom.

You must be so proud.

[Capsulate]

@DappledThings

Fuck me, what a thing to admit to. Your medal’s in the post.

What's the big overreaction? They do look prudish and faffy and they do draw more attention to the fact you are breastfeeding that doing it without. Unless you're actually going over and telling strangers your thoughts I don't see what's wrong with thinking it or that thinking it is anything terrible to "admit" to.

Anyone saying openly that they judged another woman for the way she fed her baby, when she, like them, was breastfeeding in public, makes them a shit. But, you know, shit people like that have just got to have their sneer jollies and made themselves eel smug and superior, so 🤷‍♀️. HTH .

[Ubercornsdiscoball]

I loved mine. Used it for all 3 children and wasn’t a hassle at all. Made me feel more comfortable

[EmilySpinach]

@DappledThings

Fuck me, what a thing to admit to. Your medal’s in the post.

What's the big overreaction? They do look prudish and faffy and they do draw more attention to the fact you are breastfeeding that doing it without. Unless you're actually going over and telling strangers your thoughts I don't see what's wrong with thinking it or that thinking it is anything terrible to "admit" to.

Come and try it with my 40Ks which need to be supported with one of my hands for an entire feed and then tell me that I’m prudish and faffy to do absolutely anything I fucking like when feeding my own child.

[Capsulate]

Feel not eel

[kayakingmum]

I was a big fan. Best £15 I've ever spent.
I was about 4 months in feeding DD before I discovered them. Before then I tried to cover up with a scarf which kept falling off.

So easy to put on and use. For me it meant I could relax, go out and breastfeed anywhere. Used it for almost 2 years (1 year for each child). Definitely worth it.

[Achilleus]

Like I said upthread, a friend of mine used one, not because she wanted to disguise the fact that she was feeding in public, but because she'd suffered trauma as a result of rape. Describing her as prudish feels extremely wrong.

[Capsulate]

When I spoke to a midwife about problems with bfing, she told me that it was very common for victims of sexual abuse to choose not to breastfeed. If these covers help some women to breastfeed if that is what they want to do, then clearly that is a good thing.

If they then come on this thread and see stupid thick headed posts, where people proudly saying how much they judged women who used them, then that could be quite damaging.

I mean, it's bad enough that some breastfeeding mums openly judge formula feeding. To then judge people who are feeding the same way they are, just under a cover? Fuck.ing. hell. Mind blowingly cuntish .

[Hatscats]

Personally wouldn’t want one as a gift, why should I cover up 😂

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

Never, ever used one.

I wasn't going to smother my baby so that complete strangers with bizarre bodily hang-ups wouldn't be offended by the simple function of feeding an infant.

I did have breastfeeding tops - mostly vest tops - with a slit in the front that could quickly be opened and were discreet. They were also such great quality I still wear them now, and DC is 6!

I love shawls, but definitely not for covering babies' heads.

[Capsulate]

Ugh, I'm seriously going to have to hide this thread. Such disgusting shit being spouted on here. Honestly, the worst side of mumsnet and the worst side of motherhood all on show here. I'm truly revolted by a lot of posts on here.

[DappledThings]

Come and try it with my 40Ks which need to be supported with one of my hands for an entire feed and then tell me that I’m prudish and faffy to do absolutely anything I fucking like when feeding my own child
But I wouldn't, that would be rude. Doesn't change the fact that it looks faffy and prudish.

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

NB. I have been the victim of sexual assaults, the most serious being rape, in the past. It had no bearing whatsoever on my feeding decisions, and certainly wasn't a subject of conversation that came up naturally with my midwife. The two are wholly unconnected and it never even occurred to me to make such a connection. What does breast feeding have to do with sex?

[Capsulate]

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

NB. I have been the victim of sexual assaults, the most serious being rape, in the past. It had no bearing whatsoever on my feeding decisions, and certainly wasn't a subject of conversation that came up naturally with my midwife. The two are wholly unconnected and it never even occurred to me to make such a connection. What does breast feeding have to do with sex?

Had to pop back to reply to this.

If you honestly are so lacking in empathy, that you don't realise that not everyone who has suffered sexual assault will have had identical experiences to you or, even if that had, that they would not respond in exactly the same way you have, there isn't much I can say to you here.

It was a conversation I had with a midwife. It is frankly none of your fucking business how it came about. But, I didn't make up her remark and I dont expect she made up the experience she had which backed it up. If you think I'm lying well, meh. Couldn't give a shiny shite. You and a number of other poster on here sound absolutely vile and repellent, so .

[Pinktornado]

I felt a bit shamed when I was casually breastfeeding my DS in a park and my friend (mum of two) looked aghast and whispered, ‘Haven’t you got a breastfeeding cover?’ No, I did not. DS was 6 months at that point and I think he would have objected pretty strongly had I attempted to use one at that stage!
I did find breastfeeding tops quite useful, although they can look a bit strange with different strips of material. But great when first nervous at bfing out and about. One up one down method works fine too. Now I don’t give a shiny one

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

Capitulate: re. the 'none of your fucking business' comment directed toward me: thank you for the advice but I wasn't inquiring.

Emotional over-investment in a thread to the extent that you throw rude names and insults at other posters might suggest that yes, it might be a wise idea to step back.

I find it truly surprising how often breast-feeding and sexual function are confused. The fact that western society fetishises breast - designed as milk bottles for feeding babies - in such a way says much about that society.

What it isn't, is women's problem.

[Pixie2015]

No they draw attention - if I wanted to cover skin I used a scarf

[EmilySpinach]

This is just one of those threads that leave me genuinely disappointed in some other women. Anyone who truly believed in making public spaces a welcoming place for women to feed their baby however they wished wouldn’t pass judgement on other women’s choices (and it’s not just rude to to do it anonymously here; it’s cowardly too).

Mind your own business, make your own choices, and if you find yourself with enough time and energy on your hands to form judgements of other women then get a hobby.

[onlinelinda]

The easiest way I personally found to cover breasts when feeding was to wear a T shirt or (jumper in winter). Never a dress or button up blouse, as one is impossible and the other incredibly exposing.

[Cocacolathanks]

@Itisbetter Yeah, you have a point. Thank you for your input

[Cocacolathanks]

I just want to apologise for certain comments being made on here which are, quite frankly, unkind and unnecessary.

If a woman wants to use a breastfeeding cover and she’s made the choice to do so, why must we look down on her? I know a lot of people who have used covers but support breastfeeding wholeheartedly and have never told others to ‘cover up’. It’s a personal choice, such as preferring to wear certain clothing items over others.

Secondly, please do not get into the debate of why sexual abuse survivors may feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding. It’s nothing to do with sexualising breasts. It’s everything to do with their own experiences, feelings and comfort level. I don’t equate my breasts with sex101 but that doesn’t mean I walk around topless on a normal day (again, nothing against people who CHOOSE to do so). Sexual abuse/assault is such a delicate and triggering topic for many so let’s not start analysing other people’s decisions. It’s just not necessary.

For all the positive stories, words of support and hopeful mothers: thank you and good luck Reading happy stories about breastfeeding - with or without a cover! - are always heartwarming.

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

It's a very expensive way of saying "Hey look everyone I'm breastfeeding!! Can you tell?!". If discreet is what you're going for then just use the two tops method, easier and less obvious

[ShebaShimmyShake]

@GlummyMcGlummerson

It's a very expensive way of saying "Hey look everyone I'm breastfeeding!! Can you tell?!". If discreet is what you're going for then just use the two tops method, easier and less obvious

What? Mine cost about a fiver each. And why on earth do you think I was trying to shout out that I was breastfeeding? Why would anyone give a shit? Surely they would see me with a young baby and work out that she would eventually need feeding one way or another? It would have been pretty obvious what I was doing, whatever I was wearing or not wearing. Two tops? I didn't want or need to wear two tops. How would that have rendered me invisible? An extra top would have cost more too. Power to anyone who preferred this method, by the way, it really makes no difference. So if you saw me with my bog standard cover on and minding my own business, you'd have judged me as a spendthrift and exhibitionist? Good God.

I haven't seen such an absolutely bizarre projection since seeing that strange arthouse film at the local cinema.

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

What? Mine cost about a fiver each. And why on earth do you think I was trying to shout out that I was breastfeeding? Why would anyone give a shit? Surely they would see me with a young baby and work out that she would eventually need feeding one way or another?

Oh dear, calm yourself down!

I wasn't saying they are being used for attention seeking, I'm saying it makes it obvious you're feeding so if discretion is the aim of the game then don't bother with them.

TBH I really wish women wouldn't wear them as it normalises the hiding of breastfeeding but that's just my opinion

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Also you only own one top?

Two tops - a regular top and a vest top underneath. Pull regular to your and beat top down. Great out, job done.

God why are people so unbelievably dramatic and desperate to be offended on here?! As if I'm targeting YOU, random stranger, with a perfectly pedestrian comment, I am calling YOU specifically, only woman in the world to ever breastfeed, an exhibitionist. Right-o 😂