Face mask face off

[DonutDolittle]

In Tesco self checkout this morning: Woman shopping wearing mask, needs assistance with a voucher.

Assistant: I can't hear you, I'm a bit deaf, can you take off your the mask.

Woman shakes head and points to the notification on the screen whilst saying she needs help.

Assistant: Well I can't hear you and I don't know what the problem is. There is no one else. The mask thing is a little over the top.

Woman takes off mask: I work in A&E and last night dealt with a Covid positive patient. I'm protecting you, you idiot.

Woman storms out, leaving the shopping.

Assistant bursts into tears. Another person comes over. She's saying it's not fair she's not an idiot, she can't do her job like this, something about discrimination.

Manager comes over and tells her to go home and have a day off. Then all three walk off.

AIBU to think that through all of that someone should have really noticed my awkwardly flashing red light and given me some assistance..?! There I am stood like a fucking lemon waiting for someone to confirm that I have indeed bagged said item and they all just walk off. Fuckers. I'm half joking.

[TheWernethWife]

Check out Cambridge Deaf Association - my friend contacted them and was given lots of information. They also have an app which turns speech into words.

He said it has helped him a lot whilst out shopping.

[HunterAngel]

I was sympathetic with the assistant until the mask comment. As I’ve had a hearing impediment since birth I too am struggling with the masks, particularly the cloth ones. Twinned with the Perspex screens I do struggle to understand people. I have never asked someone to remove the mask but I have explained I’m hard of hearing and asked them to speak up.

However the customer shouldn’t have called the assistant an idiot. There’s no need for name calling. Also the assistant’s reaction may have been over the top but customers do tend to take out frustrations on the staff and this incident may have been the last straw.

[NameChange84]

@BacklashStarts I was screamed and shouted at and accused of “EXTORTION” as a 19 year old trainee teacher.

I’d asked a Dad to provide a pair of 99p reindeer antlers for the reception class nativity . He said I was running a “money making scheme” and it was all a scam. He was angry that I already had a pair and wouldn’t “give” them to him. They were a spare pair in case a child’s pair went missing or got broken on the day of the performance. He then went around asking every single parent at pick up which one was the parent of the child that was “getting preferential treatment” and “favouritism” and inciting the other parents to turn against me. I wish I could say one of them told him to jog on and leave the teenager trying to put her first school play on with a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds alone but suddenly the soles of their shoes and the ceiling became VERY interesting .

Some people are just total pillocks without a soul.

[BacklashStarts]

Just to add, I am very boring with a boring job and it was feedback on a boring change to something. I’m not a brothel madam!

[BacklashStarts]

It is amazing what people will say to strangers in a work place. I was once called ‘a deviant who should be shot’ by someone!

[Notredamn]

Unfortunate situation all round. I can understand both perspectives.

[Davincitoad]

Assistant was rude arrogant and pathetic

[thevassal]

namechange84 - think I must have lived a very sheltered life then - I have worked in loads of shops, a cinema, briefly in hospitality, in the benefits department of a council, then in several libraries/museums and in a few different civil service departments and in all that time have received personal abuse exactly twice - once in the benefits department and once, bizarrely in the library, and even that was from someone known to have MH issues, and wasn't even insulting me per se - she just told me to shove my library up my arse

Family and friends who work in customer facing roles vary from bankers to teachers/TAs, health workers, charity fundraisers, etc. The only ones who have ever said they have experienced actual insults directed at them (not just a bit of moaning at the teachers regarding work not being marked enough etc.) are the shopworkers and police officers.

[StuffThem]

GabsAlot - I didn't realise some areas still all booked out - ours has been fine for all the supermarkets for a while now

[GabsAlot]

@StuffThem

HeyBlaby Please don't call me names

If I was in contact with Covid+ people I'd absolutely avoid shops unless absolutely necessary. Getting a home delivery or click and collect of groceries when there is an abundance of slots is hardly a major hardship, but what do I know, I'm at high risk so I've just been acting like a lepper since March with no end in sight

an abundance of slots? its still fully booked for 3 weeks round here when do you expect her to do her shopping next mnth

[NameChange84]

Most other jobs wouldn't accept anyone calling them abusive names so why is it ok to be so horrible to shop workers?

It’s not ok to be horrible to anyone but I actually think most professions do have to put up with a heck of a lot of abuse.

Teachers, Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics, Traffic Wardens, Counsellors, Gym Instructors/Personal Trainers (have witnessed this at the gym I visit), Roadworkers, Builders, Driving Instructors, Nursery Workers, Customer Services and Telesales workers, Civil Servants, Politicians...

I actually can’t think of a profession where people don’t routinely get abused; verbally and even physically or sexually at times.

It’s wrong but it’s not exclusive to people who work in shops.

[thevassal]

Slightly off topic but can't believe all the replies saying the retail assistant needs to toughen up because she will/they have heard much worse. Why do we accept this as a society? It shouldn't be a race to the bottom!

Most other jobs wouldn't accept anyone calling them abusive names so why is it ok to be so horrible to shop workers? I worked in various shops for years but was lucky enough to never be insulted to my face - if I had been I wouldn't have stood for it and would have refused to have served the customer.
However I recognise that I a) I was doing these jobs part time and didn't have kids etc. to support -If I had got sacked it wouldn't have been the end of the world and b) I had supportive managers who would have stood up for me.

I live close to lots of different supermarkets so vary which one I go to but would be more than happy to shop mainly at a particular store if they focussed their branding on protecting their own workers rights, and really clamped down on anyone being rude to them - this would be much more relevant to me personally than what charities big supermarkets choose to support (another recent thread).

Same to call centre staff - fair enough you can be annoyed at something but don't take it out on the person working there - to me the moment you start screaming or making personal threats they should just be allowed to hang up on them, customer or not!

[StuffThem]

We should of course be VERY careful when assuming somebody is exaggerating or lying about a disability but coupled with the "that's a bit over the top" comment I would find it entirely believable that this person exaggerated or fabricated a reason to be offended by somebody wearing a mask.

Disclaimer before I get crucified - this is only in analysis after the event on mumsnet - I absolutely wouldn't hesitate in the moment to believe somebody who was telling me they had a disability and was asking for reasonable accommodation to be made for them*).

*although personally in this situation I'd accommodate with a phone or pen and paper, not taking my mask off

[NameChange84]

Telling Bone, the OP herself said several times that she didn’t feel that the Shop Assistant was necessarily (in her words) “disabled” and admitted her own mother uses that phrase and she is not deaf.

The Shop Assistant did not ask the manager or another member of staff to help the customer. Let’s face it, the manager appeared to be fast on the scene. She did not try and sort anything out with the screen that the customer was pointing at. She clearly hadn’t been put on a “reasonable adjustments” assessment which, sensibly, would have ensured a hearing impaired person would not have been put in a position to work with masked customers.
She was insistent the customer removed their mask. She called the customer over the top for wearing a mask. She failed to social distance. She became hysterical and had to be sent home.

And. Whether you like it or not, she might not have actually been hearing impaired at all.

Likewise, she may have been. In which case,

She could have got the manager or another member of staff to help. She didn’t even try!

She could have looked at the screen and dealt with the problem.

She could have asked the HCP to write the problem down on a scrap of paper or on her phone.

She could have asked a nearby customer who wasn’t wearing a mask to tell her what the woman was saying. (Or, again, she could have just...looked at the screen).

She could have told management that as a deaf woman she needed to have been put on duties that wouldn’t involve dealing with masked customers and asked what the procedure should be if she was approached by a customer with a mask or religious face covering such as the niqab.

She should not have told a customer to remove her mask and she should not have called her over the top.

[TellingBone]

In a situation where one is asking someone to repeat something, which is the only scenario I can think of where it would be necessary, I see no reason why someone would pretend to be deaf, to whatever degree. It's a polite way of explaining why you're putting them out by requesting the repeat.

The other comments you referenced, 'I'm a bit OCD' 'I'm as blind as a bat' are not used in similar scenarios or contexts and therefore not comparable.

[NameChange84]

@TellingBone

Are you saying that everyone who says “I’m a little bit deaf!” is hearing impaired? Because my point is that not everyone that says it is.

Like people that say “I’m as blind as a bat”.

That’s what I’m getting at.

[TellingBone]

@NameChange84

That's not what you implied with your snidey 'a bit OCD' comment.

There's nothing wrong either with saying, 'I'm a bit deaf' if you ARE someone with impaired hearing. We shouldn't have to qualify or quantify it for you.

[NameChange84]

@TellingBone

Wow. Thanks for the attitude. I spent years working in SEN settings teaching deaf children and adults. There are people that say “I’m a little bit deaf” when they aren’t and that’s who I’m referring to. I learned BSL and Makaton to communicate with students and hearing impaired friends.

There’s nothing wrong with saying “I’m hearing impaired.” “I’ve no hearing/I’m deaf in one ear” or even “I’m deaf” if you actually ARE someone with genuine hearing impairment.

But “I’m a little bit deaf” and then failing to look at the fucking screen when someone is clearly pointing at it then telling that person that they are “over the top” for wearing a mask sounds off for a hearing impaired person to me. More like someone who just doesn’t like people wearing masks and was being difficult.

[StuffThem]

BSL relies heavily on lip pattern and facial expression.

It does but finger spelling without lip pattern is easily enough understood.

I got the impression the checkout clerk was probably slightly hard of hearing and perhaps never normally needs BSL though.

In this situation, writing things down or using a phone to dictate would have probably been the easiest way to communicate.

Agreed.

I’m very intrigued by this “hearing impaired specific checkout”. How does that work?

I'm guessing they mean one with a hearing loop?

[Tootletum]

Haha should hear the crap your average waitress has to put up with.

[TellingBone]

@NameChange84

The assistant was undoubtedly in the wrong. In my experience, those who are hard of hearing are excellent at non-verbal communication and would have had no problem noticing the HCP just needed help with what was on the screen.

Is “I’m a little bit deaf” like ignorant people who say “I’m a little bit OCD” but actually do not have OCD and have never been diagnosed with OCD.

Bursting into tears was ridiculous. Just get someone else to help.

There’s only one person in this scenario that appears to have been conscientious about their job and that’s the HCP.

@NameChange84

No it's not like 'ignorant' people who say 'I'm a little bit OCD'. That's a fucking offensive comment actually.

What do you want us to say? 'Sorry, my hearing was damaged in an accident and I have 50% loss on one side and approximately 70% on the other and this was diagnosed seven years ago?'

Really? The phrase a lot of us use, 'Sorry I'm a bit deaf' covers it I think. Though why we apologise for putting people like YOU out I don't know. Yours is the ignorance.

[StuffThem]

HeyBlaby Please don't call me names

If I was in contact with Covid+ people I'd absolutely avoid shops unless absolutely necessary. Getting a home delivery or click and collect of groceries when there is an abundance of slots is hardly a major hardship, but what do I know, I'm at high risk so I've just been acting like a lepper since March with no end in sight

[ChaToilLeam]

It’s not for the shop assistant to determine who should be wearing a mask or not. If you live where we do, unless there you have a solid health reason for not wearing one, you can’t shop or get on public transportation without it.

I sympathise with her if she has hearing problems but there are other ways she could have handled the situation.

[853690525d]

The mask thing is a little over the top” that’s rude. If you can’t handle a snappy response don’t take digs at people.

Fair enough

[diddl]

"In my experience, those who are hard of hearing are excellent at non-verbal communication and would have had no problem noticing the HCP just needed help with what was on the screen."

But it sounds as if the customer wanted to be able to explain the problem & then be told what to do rather than the assistant coming close enough to sort it out.

But the assistant couldn't hear well enough for this.