To think Monica and Chandler were a much better couple

[Lostinbooksandcoffee]

Than Ross and Rachel?

I'm currently rewatching Friends on Netflix.
Ross was possessive and jealous. He couldn't stand when Rachel was successful in her new career and wanted everything about him, even with his own sister. She could do so much better and I still hate the fact she ended up with him, despite having a child together. They didn't suit each other at all and were complete opposite. Plus the whole 'we were on a break' thing was just ridiculous.

Monica and Chandler, however, were such a natural couple. He really grew up when he got with her. They loved each other despite their differences and quirks. If anything, they seemed to be better as a couple because of them. I loved them together.

Yes, I'm aware they're just characters in a TV show but amuse me.

YABU - Ross and Rachel were a much better couple

YANBU - Monica and Chandler had the best relationship

[clarepetal]

Although hated it when Monica would say "I know!" In her whiny voice!

[BiBabbles]

I’m pretty sure that the lack of visibility of Ben in Ross’s life was more to do with the producers not wanting the hassle of managing child actors, rather than them making a point about Ross as a parent.

Yes, I remember it definitely came across as 'kid when it's convenient' for me, even more with Emma than Ben. Part due to how it aired I think (TV schedules are weird with large gaps at the best of times), I felt like Emma even more so seemed to vanish for long periods of time with the handwaving of nanny or grandparents. Now I get it's mostly logistics but there were times then I questioned that and wondered why they'd had/the writer's put a kid in if she was going to disappear like that.

And with Christmas, especially after the Channukah episode and how weird/forced Christmas episodes came to me (like we think it doesn't exist if it doesn't get mentioned), I kinda assumed that with a lot of mixed religion families that the mums cared more and wanted to do that more than Ross (and that the writers didn't feel up for working a different Jewish holiday into it to do that bit, Purim would have been better). If I had kids and was separated from someone who cared a lot about Christmas, I'd just let them have it each year and do New Years or something else that I enjoy instead.

Really, Friends feels a lot like 'it was the writing style of the times' when it comes to a lot of the awkward/confusing bits.

[BrightYellowDaffodil]

Some PPs have mentioned the future, I think Monica and Chandler went on to live quite happily with their children in the suburbs. Phoebe and Mike had a 'happy ever after' too (I always liked Phoebe, both her 'differentness' and her darker side brought about by a rather unhappy past) and Joey eventually found someone to settle down with.

I don't think Ross and Rachel went the distance though. Once they got back together it wasn't long before Ross' insecurities became an issue again and Rachel remembered why they'd split up. Another job came up in Paris and she took it.

[BrightYellowDaffodil]

I'm watching my way through Friends at the moment - for the later series it's like watching it all anew as I haven't seen them since they were originally aired - and I completely agree about Chandler and Monica. Even before this thread I was thinking what a really good couple they make.

I remember thinking at the time (I'd have been late teens I guess?) that Ross' behaviour was really creepy and unpleasant. He absolutely could not handle it when Rachel stopped being 'just a waitress'; to the point that he caused her problems at work with all the gifts he sent, turning up with a 'romantic meal' when she was trying to work, assuming her co-worker was after her (and that she would fall for him unless he put a stop to it) and insisting on going to a conference that was really important to her, falling asleep and then mocking its content.

But then, you saw the dynamic he'd grown up in - he'd been the Golden Boy to his parents, where poor Monica got sidelined constantly (even in adulthood when their father had used her boxes of childhood belongings to protect his car, while Ross' had been carefully preserved, and where Monica's room was turned into a home gym while Ross' room was kept as it was because of "all the trophies and awards"). He was clearly used to having his own way and seeing his wants as the most important, and just couldn't handle reality.

Much as he was sometimes a really difficult character to watch, he was brilliantly written to show his flaws (as were all the characters) as well as his good points - making him as human as any of us - but his flaws weren't portrayed sympathetically. David Schwimmer is an excellent actor.

As for Friends being 'problematic' () there was a lot about Friends that was quite progressive. Gay relationships were nomalised, as was a child having two same-sex parents and women talking openly about sex, contraception and periods - I tried to explain to someone recently how unusual it was to see this on mainstream television in 1994. Ross gets upset about his son playing with toys in case Ben turns out to be gay, but the other characters and the viewer are laughing at these attitudes not with them. Yes, the gay jokes and fat jokes haven't aged well but not only were they not malicious but if anyone can watch a programme that's 26 years old and expect attitudes not to have changed then they need to get a grip.

What did Carrie give up for Big

She had her dream Paris life but it had long since tarnished by the time Big showed up. She'd moved there to be with Alexsandre but she found Paris unfriendly and had nothing to do. Alexsandre made no effort to help her fit in and wrecked the nascent friendships she found by demanding she come and support him before promptly abandoning her. She was already lonely and miserable.

[roxfox]

@AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit

Apparently Lisa Kudrow and Matt Le Blanc tried to persuade the writers to throw out a comment in the final episode to suggest that Phoebe and Joey had been having FWB casual sex throughout the entire show until she met Mike but they decided against it

Omg they totally should've done that!! Would be so typical for them. I'm just going to pretend they did now.

[roxfox]

YANBU. I thought everyone knew that. M&C had a lovely love that grew over time.

Although, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I cried buckets when Rachel showed up at the door and said 'I got off the plane'.

OMG we were on a break!! Hahaha I watched quite a lot of the series again while I was pregnant. Love it.

Also, anyone else think Phoebe is definitely the 'coolest' character?!

[Nibblingoncrumpets]

Ross is my favourite 🙈

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

but tbh i used to watch this such a long time ago my memory might be wrong.

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

Rachel was also a spoiled diva so Ross was perfect for her.

[EmbarrassedUser]

Monica and Chandler were always my favourite characters anyway and then when they got together they were 10x better as a couple!

[RasberryRoyale]

In defence of Ross (and I hate defending him) we see Ben at one holiday episode - The one with the holiday Armadillo) and Ross mentions it’s his turn to get Ben for the holidays. Ross also refused to move to London for Emily as he couldn’t leave Ben.

I do agree that one Christmas episode isn’t much and it’s weird and very lazy writing that Ben is never mentioned one Emma comes along. In the episode where Emma is born and Jack makes a comment about his first grandchild and Ross says “What about Ben?”

Rachel’s Mom was going to bring Emma to Paris a few days after a Rachel arrived to let her get settled in.

I hated Ross and Rachel as a couple, he was a jealous, needy control freak who hated seeing Rachel have success. Monica and Chandler weren’t perfect but worked so much better than Rachel and Ross did. I hate that Ross and Rachel get back together in the finale.

[nevermorelenore]

Ross was such a nice guy creep. I love this video someone made of him without the laugh track. He looks like an absolute psycho!

[phoenixrosehere]

He absoloutley was a crap father.

His son wasn't at his wedding to Emily.
We never saw or had it mentioned that he met Emma. We never saw him at a single Christmas.
Rachel moved in when pregnant with Emma and took the second bedroom (which should have been Bens)
When Rachel said she was moving to Paris Ross was all about how he wouldn't see her every day. No issue at all with Emma being on a different continent.

Could it have been that Carol didn’t want to take Ben all the way to England? Ben would have been about 3 at the time. Ross wouldn’t have been able to take Ben back since he was meant to go on his honeymoon with Emily and there wasn’t much of a mention of the relationship between his parents and Carol so maybe they couldn’t have brought him back with them.

Rachel also didn’t have Emma with her when she was on the flight to Paris either so perhaps the plan was that Emma would be staying in New York for a bit before joining her.

The writers are the ones that didn’t really concentrate on the children so can’t say what happened that wasn’t shown.

[vanillandhoney]

@flowerlessorchid

True, but Ross cheated on Rachel...and went away with her on honeymoon rather than his actual wife etc etc...

I don't get the whole wanting to give Ben Susan's surname, but put that down to one of those pipedreams expecting parents do when they're deciding on names.

In fact, Ross walking Carol down the aisle on her wedding on Susan and dancing with Susan at the reception are two of the rare times I can think of where he does something nice unprompted.

Like all soap characters, they're all flawed in their own way!

I did actually quite like Carol and I thought she was in an unenviable situation. Ignoring the beginnings, her relationship with Susan seemed pretty solid and non-toxic overall!

[flowerlessorchid]

True, but Ross cheated on Rachel...and went away with her on honeymoon rather than his actual wife etc etc...

I don't get the whole wanting to give Ben Susan's surname, but put that down to one of those pipedreams expecting parents do when they're deciding on names.

In fact, Ross walking Carol down the aisle on her wedding on Susan and dancing with Susan at the reception are two of the rare times I can think of where he does something nice unprompted.

[vanillandhoney]

@flowerlessorchid

I'm always a bit surprised by the Carol hate - she discovered she was a lesbian and left her husband, what's so wrong with that? Was she supposed to live a lie and stay with Ross forever? He was involved with their son as much as he wanted to (which wasn't much for the vast majority of the series) and actually I would suggest the most stable of all the relationships in the series was her and Susan.

She had an affair with Susan instead of breaking things off with Ross first, and then she wanted to give the baby Susan's surname. She'd also discussed baby names with Susan and hadn't thought to include Ross. She also moved Susan in with her while she was pregnant!

I mean, I know it's just a TV show but if someone IRL did that, they'd be slaughtered, and rightly so. Their relationship may have turned out well, but the way she treated Ross in season one was pretty appalling.

[Andthewinnerislucky]

But that's okay though, Ross is still the worst.

[Andthewinnerislucky]

No she cheated first (with Susan)...many times. That's the wrong part (if we're judging).

I remember they mentioned she was supposed to be going for yoga classes or something but it was an excuse for having an affair with Susan.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Well Carol considered giving the baby her and her lesbian lovers surname, she also had an affair and had Ross attend the wedding

[flowerlessorchid]

I'm always a bit surprised by the Carol hate - she discovered she was a lesbian and left her husband, what's so wrong with that? Was she supposed to live a lie and stay with Ross forever? He was involved with their son as much as he wanted to (which wasn't much for the vast majority of the series) and actually I would suggest the most stable of all the relationships in the series was her and Susan.

[vanillandhoney]

@BobbinThreadbare123

I liked Pete and Monica

Noooo!

Pete was awful. Selfish and also slightly mysoginistic...really disliked him as a character and I feel the whole storyline was forced - I actually think the money thing would have made his character better suited to Rachel.

[Ohtherewearethen]

I too have researched it all and I was surprised by how badly if has aged. The 'jokes' about the guys being 'gay' and Monica being so hugely fat when she actually wasn't unusually huge. I used to really love it and while I still laughed at it it certainly wouldn't have the following it has if it were made now.
Ross was a knob, really annoying but I think brilliantly played by David Schwimmer.
Phoebe was an absolute cow though. Actively spiteful and just plain nasty. I think it's unrealistic that she would have stayed part of their group because she was so horrid to them all. She didn't add anything to the group at all. I can't think of any benefit to being friends with her.

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I liked Pete and Monica

[LaurieMarlow]

I’m pretty sure that the lack of visibility of Ben in Ross’s life was more to do with the producers not wanting the hassle of managing child actors, rather than them making a point about Ross as a parent.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz but he also told Emily he wouldn’t move to London because of Ben