School work during summer- AIBU

[jaderosee15]

I have two children, both in secondary school, going into year 8 and 10 in the fall. Because of lockdown they can't go out with friends or do any clubs. I want them to study and catch up on school work for 4 hours day but they refuse to do so. Sometimes they play in our backyard and they have online violin lessons, but other than that its gadgets the whole day Am I being unreasonable making them do school work

YABU- No they should not have to do work
YANBU- They should do work

How are your children spending summer in lockdown?

[PurpleDaisies]

Four hours a day of school is madness. Are they being punished for something?

Get them cooking, gardening, exercising, safely meeting friends, entertaining themselves etc instead.

[Tadpolesandfroglets]

Four hours seems a lot. You could do two and then encourage them to read/be creative/bake/exercise/play outdoors etc for the other two. Then set some tv and device rules that suit you for the rest? Maybe talk to them and set the ground rules together?

[PrincessConsuelaVaginaHammock]

They should also be able to have a guaranteed period of no school work too. So even if you negotiate two hours a day with them or whatever, allocate perhaps a fortnight where they don't need to even do that.

[jaderosee15]

@Di11y- I would love for the kids doing projects or woodworks projects, but they don't have the interest for these type of things

@DNAshelicase- Their school was quite good with online learning, and every subject was done via video call so I haven’t had to do anything regarding school these past few months. They have done the required work throughout the year, but I just wanted to go over topics they need are not that strong on

[jaderosee15]

I don't mean four hours of just studying from a book- i don't mind them to pick up a new skill, do a coding class, learn a language etc...

I just want to provide them something to do aside from sitting with gadgets all day

[jaderosee15]

@LockdownMayhem- Yes the summer is quite long and exhausting

[zoemum2006]

@jaderosee15

I don't mean four hours of just studying from a book- i don't mind them to pick up a new skill, do a coding class, learn a language etc...

I just want to provide them something to do aside from sitting with gadgets all day

I think that's fair enough. Tell them that XXXX hours are gadget free (maybe 10am-2pm?) and then they have to figure out something to entertain themselves in those times.

[sitckmansladylove]

Mine are younger and we are on holidays (5 and 6). I am working on reading (20 mins a day) and a spelling app for our six year old from the sight word list. Also number and letter formation for the 5 year old and reading app.

So half an hour a day plus time on apps. I think 4 hours is a lot.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Hang on, are you saying they did all the school work and you expect them to do 4 hours a day? No. Far too much.

It sounds like this desire to continue is about you, not them.

[AteAllTheAfterEights]

I was going to say YANBU but 4h a day is way too much. I have DD doing about 2-3hrs a week. I’d say 1hr a day max. Or 2h for 2 days and the rest of week off

[FizzFan]

Surely you can find something else for them to do that’s not schoolwork or screens?

[BlusteryShowers]

Yes, stipulating 4 hours per day is a bit much but they could commit to doing some each week. Revision tends to be most effective when done in chunks of 30 minutes, then turning attention to something else. Pomodoro technique is good.

[MayFayre]

My dcs are the same age, and it is a constant battle to get them off screens. They don’t have friends locally to hang out with, even though that would now be possible.

I’m making mine do things like walk the dogs, cut the grass, cook,help with DIY projects. I’ll encourage them to read books but that works better with one dc than other other.

Unless they’re behind at school, formal learning isn’t going to achieve anything other than a lot of tension and resentment.

[StoppinBy]

I think school work for any school age children should be kept up with over holidays so that they don't slide backwards....but 4 hours on holidays!!!........YABU!

[crazychemist]

4 hours seems a bit intense, but I think you need to get them off gadgets a bit more if that’s what they’re doing all day! Time to change the WiFi password.... I’m all for a few totally slobby days during the holidays, but with 6 months off school it can’t be every day!

[Lemonsole]

Be really aware of their mental health, and get their buy in to whatever activities you propose. The extent to which young people have been damaged by the fear around the pandemic, and by the lockdown itself, is only really starting to come out now. They've held it together throughout - but need a release valve now.

[FourTeaFallOut]

I'm sure the op knows her children better than anyone else. Sitting around, doing jack shit on gadgets is hardly the corrective to the stress of the pandemic.

[Ellmau]

Limit the time on gadgets without tying it to doing school work instead.

[blackpoe]

4 hours a day in the summer holidays? No way.

[arethereanyleftatall]

The only options aren't just school work or gadgets. And at that age, you don't need to entertain them, they can entertain themselves. No school work, but limit their electronics. They can find something to do. Walking, biking, skateboarding, playing board games, reading, crafts, fitness videos, there's loads to do.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

Sitting around, doing jack shit on gadgets is hardly the corrective to the stress of the pandemic.

No it's generally a symptom of various problems caused by isolation.

It's very unlikely that good treatment for that isolation is more isolation and forced schoolwork.

[FourTeaFallOut]

More isolation sounds like the op has options available to her which she's not taking up but we have no idea if that's the case.

As for forced school work - I think my own children would grumble more about forced house work, forced exercise and forced meal times, none the less, they are subjected to all these horrors on a daily basis.

I think four hours is too much but I wouldn't exclude the option of some home learning across the holidays and I certainly wouldn't exclude it because they'd rather do nothing.

[Sceptre86]

Four hours is too much, an hour a day of focused learning is a lot more reasonable. You do however need to engage with them with regards to the work and shouldn't expect them to just get on with it on their own. Also get them to spend some time doing exercise whether outside or inside the home. I would be attempting to make the school holidays as fun as possible.

[my2bundles]

I'm in UK and there's 3 more weeks of school (at home at the mo) then they break up for the summer. At the moment I'm ensuring g they do their online lessons but once the summer break starts they are having a break untill they either go back to school in Sept or continue online lessons. I think this year more than ever before kids need a break and to just be allowed to be kids over the summer.

[gingerbiscuits]

Balance/compromise!!

They're old enough to understand so sit down with them & come to an agreement together - a bit of reading/studying here & there & their leisure time to involve plenty of other things which aren't gadget/screen related - exercise, sports, family activities, games, arts & crafts, baking, things like virtual museum tours, writing computer code, even jobs around the house & garden.

Our 13yr old has helped us with loads of DIY & decorating since lockdown- he loved it!

There's tons of online stuff they can access which is fun but also educational, plus they CAN meet their friends in a controlled way.

You just need to be creative & strict if you have to be. Plus, after all they've been through, don't stress too much if they have the occasional 'vegging out on gadgets' or watching TV day.