School work during summer- AIBU

[jaderosee15]

I have two children, both in secondary school, going into year 8 and 10 in the fall. Because of lockdown they can't go out with friends or do any clubs. I want them to study and catch up on school work for 4 hours day but they refuse to do so. Sometimes they play in our backyard and they have online violin lessons, but other than that its gadgets the whole day Am I being unreasonable making them do school work

YABU- No they should not have to do work
YANBU- They should do work

How are your children spending summer in lockdown?

[Ikeatears]

We're still homeschooling for about 4 or 5 hours a day but we take the occasional mid week day off. My dc thrive on routine though and left to their own devices, would resort to screens but become irritable!
The last couple of days we've taken off, I've given them a blank timetable and told them to fill it however they like, as long as it doesn't involve computer games or YouTube. They planned Lego, drawing, rearranging bedrooms, football, bike rides and my youngest even planned in a bath! Haha.
It worked for us, they couldn't complain they were bored because they'd planned it and it kept our routine.
After dinner each night, they're allowed screen time. Works for us.

[jaderosee15]

*summer

[jaderosee15]

@TheTeenageYears- I want my kids to do well in life, and they need to study and put in the work in order to do so. They have a drive and passion to get all A's in their GCSEs so I have to help support them and provide the resources. To get good grades they have to study during the summee

[jaderosee15]

@flamingochill - 2/3 hours every weekend and during the summer when we are not travelling

[Love51]

I wouldn't do all that stuff I've listed, by the way. They are ideas for different things they may enjoy! Totally ok to get a year 10 to paint a fence or whatever as well, so long as it isn't in extreme temperatures!

[Love51]

By almost year 10 I would expect a young person to be able to organise their own time. The one who has just finished year 7 I would expect to need to scaffold. It is very tricky this year, as normally I'd be expecting something like a swimming trip to take up most of the day if they are getting the bus there and back with friends.
It makes a difference how much you are about to support. There are loads of things to do that aren't either school work or screen time, but what one kid (person!) would enjoy would bore someone else to tears. I'd get them to

• shop for food and cook dinner twice a week each
• do some gardening with you at the weekend and be responsible for maintaining a small patch of garden by weeding and watering.
• Figure out how to sew something - this will require adult support and you tube. Possibly a budget for fabric.
• a focus for a walk. Geo-caching, Pokémon Go, using a map and compass instead of GPS, looking at a particular type of architecture, just looking at 'aspirational houses' / comparing local houses with British ones
• a self chosen skill. Learn to crochet / speak Spanish / touch-type
• declare a week to explore a foreign culture - go to their museum using the interactive museum tours online, eat that culture's food, find out something about their political system.

So providing loads of learning opportunities but see it as learning / broadening horizons, not school work as such.

[flamingochill]

How much work do they do during summer vacation on normal years?

[Enchantmentz]

4 hours of work per day seems pretty miserable for them. yanbu for wanting them to do something but a little structure and a plan they are keen on would be fine. You would be better to focus on something that is their strength or weakness to work on, or something they are interested in but otherwise don't have the time to do.

I plan to work on numeracy with my dd through the summer as that is her weakness but I will still be pretty lax with it tbh.

[TheTeenageYears]

I don't mean four hours of just studying from a book- i don't mind them to pick up a new skill, do a coding class, learn a language etc...

I just want to provide them something to do aside from sitting with gadgets all day

Telling them they need to do 4 hours work a day isn't really providing them with something to do though is it? If you can't just let the whole limiting gadget time during the holidays go you need to find a way to engage with them that they are happy with. If there are things they would normally do which they can't because of the current situation they are already missing out. I'm all for getting through each day at the moment- however that is. If they wouldn't normally do 4 hours work over the holidays it will look like they are being punished due to Covid-19 and let's face it they have been punished enough. If you leave them to it long enough they might even get bored on their own and come to you. Just be ready to spend the time with them when they do.

[gingerbiscuits]

Balance/compromise!!

They're old enough to understand so sit down with them & come to an agreement together - a bit of reading/studying here & there & their leisure time to involve plenty of other things which aren't gadget/screen related - exercise, sports, family activities, games, arts & crafts, baking, things like virtual museum tours, writing computer code, even jobs around the house & garden.

Our 13yr old has helped us with loads of DIY & decorating since lockdown- he loved it!

There's tons of online stuff they can access which is fun but also educational, plus they CAN meet their friends in a controlled way.

You just need to be creative & strict if you have to be. Plus, after all they've been through, don't stress too much if they have the occasional 'vegging out on gadgets' or watching TV day.

[my2bundles]

I'm in UK and there's 3 more weeks of school (at home at the mo) then they break up for the summer. At the moment I'm ensuring g they do their online lessons but once the summer break starts they are having a break untill they either go back to school in Sept or continue online lessons. I think this year more than ever before kids need a break and to just be allowed to be kids over the summer.

[Sceptre86]

Four hours is too much, an hour a day of focused learning is a lot more reasonable. You do however need to engage with them with regards to the work and shouldn't expect them to just get on with it on their own. Also get them to spend some time doing exercise whether outside or inside the home. I would be attempting to make the school holidays as fun as possible.

[FourTeaFallOut]

More isolation sounds like the op has options available to her which she's not taking up but we have no idea if that's the case.

As for forced school work - I think my own children would grumble more about forced house work, forced exercise and forced meal times, none the less, they are subjected to all these horrors on a daily basis.

I think four hours is too much but I wouldn't exclude the option of some home learning across the holidays and I certainly wouldn't exclude it because they'd rather do nothing.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

Sitting around, doing jack shit on gadgets is hardly the corrective to the stress of the pandemic.

No it's generally a symptom of various problems caused by isolation.

It's very unlikely that good treatment for that isolation is more isolation and forced schoolwork.

[arethereanyleftatall]

The only options aren't just school work or gadgets. And at that age, you don't need to entertain them, they can entertain themselves. No school work, but limit their electronics. They can find something to do. Walking, biking, skateboarding, playing board games, reading, crafts, fitness videos, there's loads to do.

[blackpoe]

4 hours a day in the summer holidays? No way.

[Ellmau]

Limit the time on gadgets without tying it to doing school work instead.

[FourTeaFallOut]

I'm sure the op knows her children better than anyone else. Sitting around, doing jack shit on gadgets is hardly the corrective to the stress of the pandemic.

[Lemonsole]

Be really aware of their mental health, and get their buy in to whatever activities you propose. The extent to which young people have been damaged by the fear around the pandemic, and by the lockdown itself, is only really starting to come out now. They've held it together throughout - but need a release valve now.

[crazychemist]

4 hours seems a bit intense, but I think you need to get them off gadgets a bit more if that’s what they’re doing all day! Time to change the WiFi password.... I’m all for a few totally slobby days during the holidays, but with 6 months off school it can’t be every day!

[StoppinBy]

I think school work for any school age children should be kept up with over holidays so that they don't slide backwards....but 4 hours on holidays!!!........YABU!

[MayFayre]

My dcs are the same age, and it is a constant battle to get them off screens. They don’t have friends locally to hang out with, even though that would now be possible.

I’m making mine do things like walk the dogs, cut the grass, cook,help with DIY projects. I’ll encourage them to read books but that works better with one dc than other other.

Unless they’re behind at school, formal learning isn’t going to achieve anything other than a lot of tension and resentment.

[BlusteryShowers]

Yes, stipulating 4 hours per day is a bit much but they could commit to doing some each week. Revision tends to be most effective when done in chunks of 30 minutes, then turning attention to something else. Pomodoro technique is good.

[FizzFan]

Surely you can find something else for them to do that’s not schoolwork or screens?

[AteAllTheAfterEights]

I was going to say YANBU but 4h a day is way too much. I have DD doing about 2-3hrs a week. I’d say 1hr a day max. Or 2h for 2 days and the rest of week off