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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a lot of people must have a high amount of debt

247 replies

user495827 · 25/06/2020 17:26

I wouldn't dream of being nosey enough to ask people in real life. So thought I would ask on here. I'm asking more from people with average incomes rather than very high. When I say average I suppose I mean around £20000 to £35000
I'm from the North West which I think is relevant as the average house price /wage is lower than the South.
A lot of my friends and their partners are in this bracket. They seem to spend a lot of money. One friend, for example, got married last year a beautiful wedding easily £10000. A honeymoon to Dubai and also a mini moon to Paris. Beginning of this year they bought a house and are completely renovating it top to bottom. I happen to know her salary just through conversations is £25000. Her husbands job probably pays around £30000. Another friend again completely renovating a new house. Both have Audi's cars on finance.
AIBU to think a lot of people spend like this now and that it is normal to have very high debts/high mortgage?
I know it's not my business I certainly don't begrudge them and how they spend their money. I use to earn similar but im now part time and I suppose I'm abit of a saver.

OP posts:
Dangermouse80 · 25/06/2020 21:21

Ridiculous amount of debt: we rent, joint income of £70K but with 3 children and just coming out of full time childcare we owe £45K. However knocking this down a £1k a month going forward. Just unfortunate that all 0% options have been used and lending restrictions have been tightened a lot in the past year.

Would prefer to owe less, but you only live once, we have done what we wanted, travelled, have a (rented) nice house. Have a good pension plan and life insurance. I would rather a nice house now and enjoy life than save it all and end up in a overpriced retirement home having missed out for most of my life.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/06/2020 21:23

I earn minimum wage so not in the bracket you mentioned but I receive a lot of child maintenance from my ex husband who earns a good wage so my income including that is about £24k a year. I have no debt apart from £50k mortgage.

I'm a single parent and was always very concerned about getting into debt because I earn so little, it would be difficult to pay it back if I borrowed money. So I only buy what I can afford. I live modestly and bought a small 2 bedroom house rather than stretch myself.

Oblomov20 · 25/06/2020 21:26

We are a lot older than you. Only a few years left on our mortgage. No debts, no credit cards, own both cars outright. But we don't have hardly any savings.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 25/06/2020 21:27

It took me ages - an embarrassingly long time - to work out that the reason that we have two old bangers and everyone else we know on similar salaries has cars that are only a couple of years old at most and much more expensive car brands is that they don't actually own their cars. We don't have any debt but the mortgage and I had no idea how common leasing cars or buying things on credit cards actually is.

cuparfull · 25/06/2020 21:34

I remember interest rates at 15% and it was PAINFUL. Now I don't buy anything unless I can pay for it in cash.
Trouble is the messes with the credit ratings we both have.

Rebelwithallthecause · 25/06/2020 21:36

I alwyas calculate my debt against assets and then as long as I’m comfortably in the black then that’s ok.

Equity in a house and savings helps this

Juliehooligan · 25/06/2020 21:40

The only debt that we have is the mortgage, which is around £35,000. Debt absolutely scares me silly as I grew up with a mum who was addicted to gambling was always owing money to people.

Tinyhumansurvivalist · 25/06/2020 21:42

Single parent and on around 19k/year.

I currently have 67k mortgage, about 23k student debt from uni 20+ years ago. Never earnt enough to pay it back - I don't consider them debt.

I have credit cards tgat afford me about 3k if I ever need it for emergency but there is only about £20 on them as some scumbag cloned my card and the bank blocked it so had to use credit card for a couple of days and needed petrol.

I own my car outright, but I did receive a significant windfall earlier this year so probably look like I have high debts as I am using it to have work done in the house and garden that I could never afford otherwise.

maddiemookins16mum · 25/06/2020 21:49

We have 20k on the mortgage and 6k on the car finance. That’s it.
Joint income before tax of 47K.
No credit cards or overdrafts.
I’ve been in credit card debt, 20K, it was horrendous.

1Morewineplease · 25/06/2020 21:53

No debts and no mortgage, but the journey to this status was painful. We are lucky.
I can’t imagine being a twenty something now.
If you are... all good wishes to you.

UltimateWednesday · 25/06/2020 21:55

Of the people I know well enough to know there are three types:

  • people who had big inheritance early.
  • people who never pay cash for anything, affordability is calculated according to the monthly payment, rather than the actual cost.
  • people who save and buy what they can afford when they an afford it.

I was party to a conversation recently where colleague 1 was astounded that colleague 2 was paying cash for a car "who does that?!".

Whatnext2018 · 25/06/2020 21:56

We have our mortgage and nothing else to pay now. Had student loans, credit card etc in the past, but trying not to go down that route again.
Have a fairly crap car though bought outright that we share between us..our house is lovely and our income is all ours after mortgage (and bills obvs) so we’ve travelled lots and had lovely life experiences and a nice lifestyle...I still occasionally feel a bit 🙈about our car though but don’t fancy paying loads on finance or getting a loan for a new one 🤷‍♀️

Afterglow17 · 25/06/2020 21:56

About 55k between us here. £900 on a credit card at the moment which I pay in full every month and 10k in student loans (I only work part time and don’t earn enough to start paying it off at the moment!). I’m very fortunate to be mortgage free at the age of 26! That’s a massive weight off my shoulders because honestly the way food and essentials are going up in price I would be in a lot of debt by now.

ohthegoats · 25/06/2020 21:57

No debt apart from mortgage. But we drive bangers and don't spend money on clothes or stuff like that. My money goes on books, his money seems to go on brewing kit and random cables based on what comes through the post!? Inherited a holiday home in Cornwall which I share with my brother, so we can get breaks for 'free', even though I pay regularly into the property in terms of management and maintenance.

ohthegoats · 25/06/2020 21:58

I agree though that it seems as if people must have loads of debt/stuff bought on HP. Cars mostly I think. Partner thinks that people earn lots more than we do, but I know that they don't. Just different priorities.

SkylinesTurnstiles · 25/06/2020 22:02

Combined income of 40k
Have £700 of credit card debt
Have £6k in savings

alwaysraining123 · 25/06/2020 22:03

This is an interesting thread because it really highlights the difference in behaviour and attitudes to debt. I’ve learnt to not compare myself to others. We have a good joint income (£150k) but we don’t spend unless we’ve saved, we prepare for rainy days and we prioritise purchasing things that have lasting benefits. In our case this means we don’t have a flashy car at all, we don’t go on expensive holidays, we don’t buy the latest technology or expensive clothes, but we do own the vast majority for our house and send our children to an independent school. People probably judge us on the basis of what they see but the reality is different for us and we feel happy with that. Other people have the need to ‘wear’ their even moderate wealth and that of course is up to them.

UltimateWednesday · 25/06/2020 22:06

In a previous job I was privy to the details of people's personal finances. Almost without exception, the really wealthy lived outwardly modest lives, relative to their means and those with flashy lifestyles were barely making (often not making) the monthly payments.

RiftGibbon · 25/06/2020 22:08

I owe about £14k on my student loan. I'm not working so it hasn't been repaid in any way.
But I don't have a mortgage or credit cards or any other outstanding debts.

zebbyzebbo · 25/06/2020 22:09

Just a mortgage here. Credit cards always paid and there for emergencies - but we save and also have cash for contingency. House is comfortable but not fancy or fashionable.

It might be none of my business, but can't help wondering about some friends: One couple spent all their savings on £25k wedding (neither earns that much) yet still built an enormous house extension and always have products which I know cost a lot. Another couple are constantly refreshing their home decor (e.g. multiple new sofas) for the latest trend, yet I know had to wait a long time to afford to buy a house despite wanting to for years.

To each their own...

Dazedandconfused10 · 25/06/2020 22:10

In the bracket- I have my mortgage and 3k on a cc but more than that in the bank to pay it. Its 0% though so just paying it off. I've been in debt and I would rather go without that do that again

snowybean · 25/06/2020 22:10

I have a £5,000 car loan but I don't really see that as debt as I can afford it. But that's all.

madcatladyforever · 25/06/2020 22:12

I earn over that but I have no debt, I can't afford to as I'm retiring in 9 years time. I've made it a priority to pay it all off and start saving for retirement to supplement my NHS pension.
I don't have fancy cars, holidays, shopping trips. It's been tough paying off my divorce debts but I cannot go into retirement with debt, it will be hard enough paying the bills as it is. I'm doing up my house to add value and sell on, I pay as I go then save up for the next bit. I want to move back to the sea when I retire and may continue working part time after I retire just to keep the money coming in.
I don't know what you have to earn to have a comfortable retirement but it's more than I earn thats for sure.

blue25 · 25/06/2020 22:13

No debt other than mortgage.

Mortgage is 155k on house worth 500k. Savings of 30k+. We don’t really spend much on cars, clothes, beauty etc. We do have a lot of holidays though.

Babyroobs · 25/06/2020 22:14

Joint income of around 50k here, no debts or mortgage. We are in our fifties though. Even when we were younger debt would worry me though so other than the odd car on HP over the years, we have rarely had much debt. My much younger friend has debts that would keep me awake at night and they literally spent about 15k on a wedding. We spent 1k.

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