Delivery Driver. WIBU?

[LoubyLoubLoub]

I'll try to put all information in to be told whether I'm being a bit of a cow or not.

I'm due a parcel today but not until 16:30-18:30. DD6 has been begging to play out today so due to having the back garden dug out, I said she could play in the front garden with her dolls. Whilst she's playing, the door bell rings and as I'm walking through the hall, DD opens the door to tell me delivery is here. At this point, the driver has gone back to his van to retrieve the parcel so DD walks into the house out of the way. Driver puts the parcel down and says to DD 'you can't just go round letting yourself into people's houses you know' without saying a word to me and goes to walk away after scanning item. At that I said 'sorry, what do you mean? She lives here, it isn't a random house'. He went on to say he'd rang the door bell and she'd shouted to him that it was OK, that she'd shout me as I don't always hear the bell from the back of the house. At that he'd made the comment to her and gone to leave. I stopped him and said I felt it was inappropriate that he'd said that to her as this is her house and she thought she was helping by shouting me. I asked if she'd gone to close to him at any point and if that was the issue and he'd said no as hed gone back to the van to retrieve the parcel. I said OK, so you meant YOU personally have to ring the bell as oppose to just being able to open the door as she did and he said no, I was saying she shouldn't have just opened the door. I told him it wasn't his place to tell my daughter whether she could open the door, that it was her home and if he had an issue, he should have spoken to her parents instead of addressing her and walking away. He then tutted at me and walked away.

I have checked our cameras and at no time is she anywhere near him so it's not that he's annoyed she came too close. WIBU here?

I'll fully accept if I should have left him to say his piece but I don't understand what DD did wrong in this scenario?

YABU - delivery driver has every right to say what he did
YANBU - what's his bloody problem?

[AdultierAdult]

OP maybe next time order yourself a Little Book of Calm or equipment for a new hobby. Macrame?

[crimsonlake]

I cannot believe I have read all this...how can something so trivial be focussed on by a person so much. I am sorry but if that is all you have got to worry about in life...speechless.

[Fairyliz]

I bet you go into school and complain when the teacher tells you daughter off too. I complete over reaction.

[Branleuse]

Non issue.

[beautifulxdisasters]

I'm judging you for making such a huge deal out of some chit chat from the delivery man tbh - if your 7yo can't cope with that then yes you do need to supervise her if she's out the front of your house.

[GrannyBags]

I can’t believe this non event is still going on!

[ChangedAgainJune]

First of all, you shouldn't leave your 6yo in front garden on their own while you are at the back and so far away that you cannot hear the doorbell.
Secondly, your DD might have been far away from the house when the driver approached and he did not realise she lives there or is your child.
Thirdly, you have made mountain out of molehill.
Sorry, YABU.

[beautifulxdisasters]

You're making a huge deal about nothing. If you don't want your kid talking to delivery people then don't let her play in the front garden.

[FromMarch2020]

OP replies so much... she is clearly rattled that she didn't get the response she was expecting

"poor you" 'nasty delivery man - get him sacked talking to your poor innocent child like that....'
'oh my she will get PTSD ... claim compensation..'.... blah blah how will you cope!

Now run along and stop coming back - it really wasn't worth the thread was it?

[Lipz]

Never mind all these random doors and who should be opening them, where the heck do you live that you need security lodges, security people, cameras with audio. Sounds like a very rough place.

[LoubyLoubLoub]

I was being sarcastic when I said I won't be ordering again, my husband would love that, I however certainly wouldn't.

I didn't say I trust every single person, but realistically at what age do you trust everyone around your children? A fifteen year old girl could he grabbed and dragged into a delivery van. Do I keep her locked in forever?

If you honestly feel happy enough in your parenting, that you can sit and judge another mum for leaving an almost 7 year old unsupervised for around 90 seconds, I take my hat off to you.

This has gone from one extreme to another, parent bashing I don't have time for though.

Thanks for taking the time to ground me a bit!

[CoRhona]

.."we're lucky not to have to worry about 'all and sundry'"

[forgetthehousework]

Didn't you say earlier that you'd worry about ordering again in case he delivered? I'm glad that you can entirely trust all the people in your gated community and all the visitors, delivery drivers, tradesmen etc that they may also have calling.

[ItsSpittingEverybodyIn]

👍😂

[pinkglove75318]

@BeKindOrBeQuiet

I think the driver meant that your dd shouldn't have opened the door to a stranger (being him in this instance)

This is what I thought.


He was probably baffled that a 6 year old was left unattended in the front garden. Gated community or not 🙄

I'm not the type to wrap my DC's in cotton wool, but this sounds like a huge safety risk in my opinion.

She was alone long enough to have this 'odd' encounter with a complete stranger, that's long enough for something awful to happen.

[LoubyLoubLoub]

I know that nowhere is completely safe, but I feel comfortable enough in my surroundings that I can nip to put the kettle on without asking her to come inside whilst I make a coffee is what I meant, sorry. DD also knows 'the drill' if approached by someone and she's alone. On this occasion I had told her we were expecting a delivery as I'd been to notify the security lodge with her present and she recognised the van the delivery driver was in, hense her not worrying.

Anyway, I over reacted and was a bit taken aback by his comment and his tone of voice but it's nothing major. I'll make sure if I post again, it's a lot more interesting and that I've considered whether I have better things to do or worry about first

[BeKindOrBeQuiet]

I think the driver meant that your dd shouldn't have opened the door to a stranger (being him in this instance)

[LoubyLoubLoub]

It would appear so. I'm crying into my sobbing in fact. What if I never feel confident enough to order online again incase he returns and decides to chastise my dog next

[ItsSpittingEverybodyIn]

Without sounding patronising op, living in a gated community does not guarantee your dd safety. Most abduction and abuse is carried out by people known to the child.

[imsooverthisdrama]

Completely overreaction lovely it's not a big deal is it ?.
Last week I had a delivery asked ds early 20s to watch dd teen who has Sen while I was upstairs .
While I was upstairs knock on door ds didn't answer so I went downstairs. Ds has gone outside, dd was on her own .
Opened door parcel on door stop , delivery driver shouted from van I knocked but she ignored me meaning dd .
Dd is non verbal so wouldn't acknowledge delivery driver nor open door not that he knew that . Delivery driver assumed wrongly that dd just ignored him when he knocked.
I was a bit but I let it go he made a wrong judgement but it's no harm done and he's under pressure to make a delivery.
Perhaps he shouldn't be so judgemental etc but getting upset what will that resolve.?

[ItsSpittingEverybodyIn]

Do people really get upset about the slightest non event like this?

[LoubyLoubLoub]

@Imissmoominmama perhaps, I would have expected him to clarify that though when I asked what he meant and given the current circumstances, I'd like to think common sense would tell you that you wouldn't just be invited into someones home when delivering a few small parcels.

[LoubyLoubLoub]

@ToBBQorNotToBBQ she could have dropped in from the drug den over the road where the masked psychopaths and teenage burglars live

@TSSDNCOP

[Imissmoominmama]

I think he was telling her that he couldn’t just go in. I remember a meter man telling me off for letting him in without question when I was a teenager... he still came in though!