I have just been sent an email by mistake,

[iwantitalltobenormal]

AIBU to be massivley hurt and pissed off from the email I have just read which was sent to me by mistake?

at the begining of this year, I offered to do a monthly blog for our small team, so other departments are more aware of what we do internally - (manager thought it was a great idea ) baring in mind this was my first attempt at this , and by no means a mandatory task , I did it all on a power point presentation , I also do not claim to be a professional blog writer and I really enjoyed doing it, and putting it together, I sent it to my manager back in March, It took a little while due to also carrying out my day to day job.

fast forward to today ( baring in mind I had no response or feedback on my blog, whether it be positive criticism or any type of feedback) someone has unfortunately sent me a long email trail between my line manager to his line manager slating my work on the blog I had done and slating how unprofessional it the content is - but in a really distasteful way , and nasty.

I feel hurt, upset and belittled.

[roking]

Hope you are ok OP.

Similar thing happened in my work. One of the directors was replying to an application from a colleague about a promotion and move to a new department. The colleagues manager had sent the application for consideration to all directors, HR and the head of the department's that would be involved in the move. One director replied to all, clearly not checking and thinking it was only his management mates that were in the email chain, not realising that the person who had made the application and the Head of HR were cc'd in, he had stated all the reasons why he didn't think the colleague was the right person for the job. some of the reasons were extremely hurtful and very petty. None based on her actual work or experience and some based on her appearance and generally making a fool of her 😔

When he realised what he done, he tried to make out his laptop had been stolen and someone else had written it 🙄🙄 lies

The company tried to sack him, but the owner thinks the sun shines out of his backside and nothing at all happened to him! Colleague ended up quitting. We lost a very valued member of the team and the arsehole director is still swanning round the place like a dog with 2 dicks. No one has any respect for him at all. Just last week he sent another email (replied to all again 🙄) where he was being extremely condescending and referred to our (excellent) HR Manager as a junior member of staff who doesn't know what she's talking about. No one is expecting anything to get done about it

[GisAFag]

Manager could be advising your line manager that you're work requires improvement. The person who sent you the email may have realised and told your manager what they did. I wouldn't say anything about the email..

You could speak to line manager and say.. I'm not sure if blog I'm writing is working, I feel I need help so I can improve it. Can you give me advice.

We all need help and guidance, and we all have to remember that managers are only doing their job and they have to confront tricky situations.

[Annonymiss123]

How did you deal with this @iwantitalltobenormal?

[CrazyTimesAreOccurring]

Any update @iwantitalltobenormal?

[AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken]

SummerDayWinterEvenings

I absolutely should have. I contacted our city council safeguarding team and they didn’t have much advice other than to speak to the head. By that point, I’d lost my confidence and thought everyone was just viewing me as a vindictive ex employee.

[squiglet111]

I'd kind of want to reply all and include all staff in the message saying that as A and B have so many opinions on how it should be done they should do it themselves as they apparently know how to do a blog correctly.

So basically expose them. Jealous pricks

[SummerDayWinterEvenings]

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

This happened to me once too.
I had been working in a school before resigning. About 6 months after I quit, I was still upset by how I was treated by my line-manager. The role I was in had never had anyone stay in it for longer than a year because the line manger was so awful. I decided the school should know about her behaviour because it’s a fantastic school and the rest of the staff were amazing so they deserve to have long standing staff members. In addition, some of her actions went beyond work-place bullying and more into the realm of policy breaches.
I composed a really polite email. It was concise. It listed a few specific examples of her behaviour with witnesses named. One was that she admonished me for reporting a safeguarding issue to the safeguarding officer without asking her permission. This is a huge breach of school safeguarding policy.
Anyway, long story short, I received a reply the next day from the head which was supposed to go to his secretary saying
“What are we doing with this? A standard “thanks for the info email” and then delete?”
He then followed up with a grovelling email asking to speak to me on the phone. I didn’t bother. I already knew what he thought of my complaints.
I felt sick when I got it. I felt sick for about a week after.
I got over it though. You will get over it too. People can be shit xx

I would have forwarded it to the Chair of Governors and then the CC or Academy Trust.

[ABlackRussian]

If only people were more upfront!

OP, forward the email on to your manager, and their manager and ask why this wasn't fed back to you.

[BusyProcrastinator]

Feedback says more about the person giving it than receiving it.

I’d email them and politely say you’d like direct and constructive feedback on tasks where possible.

[thepeopleversuswork]

ToddlerBumpBorderCollie has nailed it.

[Firstawake]

[MrsPerfect12]

Wishing you the best of luck.

[ChikiTIKI]

What did you say in the end?

[Flyinggeese]

Hi OP, a professional response stating that I would like to discuss what I’ve read - this sounds spot on.

Don't make any rash decisions, see what they have to say. Good luck.

[LannieDuck]

I'm sorry that happened, OP. I'm sure they'll be mortified when they realise. Not that it excuses their comments.

[AnnaBanana333]

Don't forget though, employers aren't allowed to give you a 'bad' reference.

Yes, they are. As long as they can back up what they say.

[ChicCroissant]

Don't forget though, employers aren't allowed to give you a 'bad' reference. So don't focus too much on that.

This is simply not true. So don't focus on it at all!

[Z0rr0]

I don’t want to work there anymore !
And how could you, feasibly, knowing this is what your manager thinks about you and your work?
Exactly why I said it could constitute constructive dismissal.
You hold all the cards. Don't let them weazle out of their massively unprofessional behaviour.

[TiddlestheCat]

Hope that you are feeling ok. Have the feckers emailed you back yet?
An apology is insufficient. They have really knocked your confidence and undermined you to other colleagues. However, remember that they have also undermined your confidence in them as managers. Your work may have required improvement. Their managerial skills (which form part of their job description) clearly require improvement! If you were to leave as a result of this, in many ways they would have failed you and the company. They provided unconstructive feedback to you in a highly unprofessional way. You can express constructive feedback to them in terms of how this incident has made you feel (knocked your confidence, humiliated/embarrassed you re your colleagues) and how you would prefer things to be handled in future. What they have done is far more unprofessional than anything that you have done!

[Ladybyrd]

What is to be gained by an employer giving a bad reference? It just looks unprofessional on their part. All they're doing is leaving themselves open to a claim. I've seen terrible employees get glowing references, purely because their ex employer wanted shot of them ASAP and was quite happy to sell them on to the competition.

Plus OP hasn't done anything wrong bar try too hard perhaps. I'd be more concerned if I were the colleague who forwarded the email. If anyone is going to be in the dog house, it's them.

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

I don't consider saying the reason you were terminated to fall under a 'bad reference'.

But to be clear, here's my source for the guidance I gave.

www.gov.uk/work-reference

I believe that, based solely on what OP has said, there is no reason she should expect a bad reference, so long as she has done her job to the best of her ability.

To be honest, it frustrates me when people believe that you should tiptoe around poor treatment at work because you might get a bad reference and never be able to work in your field again.

This has caused me anxiety in the past and many other people I know. I don't know what was in the email OP saw. But if it was inappropriately bad, I'd really rather she understands that the company can't legally slag her off for no reason if she decided to leave because of it.

[RUOKHon]

Handled correctly by your manager this could have been a really good learning opportunity for you, instead it's demotivated you to the extent you've said the above. Shit management is what makes people leave good jobs

Yes exactly. So much for sticking your head above the parapet! What a shame your enthusiasm has been extinguished by such cruel and careless behaviour by your managers. I’m sorry you’re feeling like this OP.

[amusedbush]

Don't forget though, employers aren't allowed to give you a 'bad reference'.

Tell that to the promotion I lost out on last year when my ex boss wrote a shite reference telling the interview panel that I hadn’t done any of the things I said I did, and they couldn’t support my application. It was all lies, the job offer was withdrawn and the Union told me there was nothing I could do because it wasn’t systematic bullying and references are ‘very subjective’.

[SeagoingSexpot]

Don't forget though, employers aren't allowed to give you a 'bad reference'.

I wish people wouldn't repeat this kind of thing. Employers are absolutely allowed to give you a "bad reference" in law, so long as it is factually based and they can justify it. Many employers in the UK, to avoid legal scuffles which can be expensive and time-consuming even if won, have a policy of only confirming dates of employment and if you left voluntarily and/or are eligible for rehire as a reference. But word also gets around informally, especially in small and well-networked fields, so it pays not to burn your bridges unnecessarily. And it's entirely legal for an employer to give the reference that you were terminated for poor performance or attendance etc, so long as that is true.

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

And also yes, please, do come back and let us know what their response to your reply is. They will be squirming when they see it.