To stop my kid from playing computer games?

[Glass45]

My DS (7) has two best friends who have their own tablet and play games on it. I know that’s super normal and it’s weird that my DS doesn’t have one.

Anyway it got to a point where I heard him pretending to another friend he also had a tablet and plays mine craft. Then he spent the day with a third child who went on about it all day (mine craft) and I felt like I was holding DS back so I paid for it and downloaded it on my phone (after much convincing from DH also) and let him play for a bit. I did so very reluctantly (that was Thursday.)

Anyway since then, all he’s done is beg me to play it. All day. He wakes up and starts the begging.

I didn’t want to give him access to games as I think they’re bad for kids and addictive so I’m really annoyed with myself for letting him in the first place.

I sort of want to stop him from playing the game... is it too late? I don’t want to hold him back or be unfair. Some of my friends think I’m being unreasonable if I don’t let him. And so does DH.

[TimeWastingButFun]

Buy him a tablet and just restrict the time he's on it? My boys iPads have timers on them that you can set.

[GetOutOfThereHoggle]

I think of you are clear with boundaries it will work itself out. Explain why you don't want him on all day, he's probably old enough to understand even if he'll not agree lol. My eldest is 8 and I hear him sometimes telling his younger brother that he needs to stop playing before his eyes start hurting and he runs out of vitamin D and turns into a vampire (last bit was his artistic license). Doesn't mean the eldest doesn't fight it and whine at me when say to stop, but I'll take the moaning for the social interactions and mental work outs the games give him when he plays. He knows the boundaries and the reasons. Won't stop him trying to push them, but he gets it.

[Blackbear19]

Forbidden fruit and all that. Gaming has been a thing since the '70s. I thought the 80's but was corrected by someone on here a couple of weeks ago.
The majority either out grow it or treat it like any other hobby, something done in free time very few become addicted to the point it interferes with living life.

[mumof2exhausted]

Mine is 6 and luckily his friends are all into football/ rugby - generally running around and playing outside. He’d never choose iPad / computer games over playing out with friends but I know as they get older it’s difficult. I am really against computer games for this reason though. They are made specifically to be addictive. We have a wii we play as a family (mario carts etc) and he had iPad but I have chosen the games downloaded and he has a max 30 mins on it. He rarely asks for it. Maybe rightly more in lockdown when he needs a break from playing with his little brother. Don’t give in, be strict on times he can play. It pisses me off that because of those parents who don’t care and let their kids play on computer games for hours those parents who don’t want it come out looking like the bad guys to our kids as they think we’re being mean

[vanillandhoney]

Gaming has been a "thing" for years. These people are now adults and the vast, vast majority are more than capable of holding down jobs, raising families, participating in sports and living totally normal lives.

I hate the stereotypes that are perpetuated around adult gamers on here - that they're all socially incompetent, lazy, rude, unhealthy and ignorant. It's a hobby just like any other. It's just seen as being bad for you because it involves a screen! Yet the same parents who complain about too much screen time seem to spend hours on Facebook, Instagram and Mumsnet. Why is that any different?

Little and often is the best way. He's only seven so expecting him to go 3-4 days without it is probably a bit unrealistic, but an hour a day of screen time would be fine, no? It still leaves 12 or so hours a day for other things - including school work, exercise, imaginary games, meals, bath etc.

I was that child that wasn't allowed so many things growing up - we didn't have a VHS player, I wasn't allowed to watch the Simpsons, I wasn't allowed a gameboy or to collect Pokemon cards, and I'll tell you something - it was horrible. I know my parents had good intentions but I ended up being horribly excluded in school. I couldn't join in games or conversations because I genuinely had no idea what anyone was talking about.

Don't let your child be like that.

[GetOutOfThereHoggle]

I still remember starting the tape on the spectrum, then running back in an hour later to see if it had loaded lol. Half the time it had failed and you needed to rewind it and try again lol. Kids these days have no idea 🤣 Made it SO exciting when it did work though.

[Blackbear19]

The Spectrum tape, kids these days, with hard drives, they don't know they are living

[ValiaH]

@user8558 My kids love to play outside and make dens as well. It doesn't need to be either or, I love the outdoors and walking, exploring nature, but would also happily spend hours playing Skyrim/ Minecraft/ Sims4. I think it's all about balance, and that's down to us as parents. Its important to me that my kids learn the balance, especially as tech is going to be such a huge part of their lives. We do moderate their game play a lot! I am insistent that they aren't gaming on tablets all the time, or watching kids YouTube (I deleted that app!) Somehow smaller screens like phones or tablets affect my kids more than the PC or playing on the Wii. My middle is autistic, and for her playing minecraft is incredibly therapeutic and gives her a chance to switch off and just focus on something virtual for a couple of hours on the weekend. Its different for every child, but I agree that once the novelty wears off and they know there are set times they can play, it's not as 'all consuming' for them.

[Dontcareforfoodpoisoning]

@Glass45 Not everyone is the same. I played games all throughout my childhood and teenage years, for hours a day, and I still do. I don't know what other people do with their devices, but it is just my hobby. I also have a university degree, good job, my own house and I'm 28. This comes across as boasting, but all I'm trying to say it that gaming is not the devil, and even gaming a lot doesn't necessarily lead to a ruined life.

Gaming has been hugely beneficial for my problem-solving skills. I have met some of my friends through gaming, and we hang out in real life. I also do plenty of other things, but I still love gaming. The main reason your DS is begging is probably because you haven't told him when he can next play. That would drive me up the wall. Imagine starting a really good film and it being turned off halfway through, and nobody is bothering to tell you when you can next watch it. Of course you're going to ask constantly.

It doesn't really matter whether you let him play for an hour a day or an hour a week, but you have to tell him when he can expect to play. It's a bit cruel otherwise.