To be sick and tired of....

[Whattodowhattodooo]

.... DH shitty attitude?

I am sick and fucking tired of it. For example: Today.

Saturday has ALWAYS been my lay in. Since we had kids. ALWAYS. It should be no surprise when on a Friday night I say "God I'm looking forward to my lay in tomorrow!" Cue, whinging about how he will be the one getting up early despite working 12 hour shifts etc etc. He forgets that he gets his lie in on Sunday and also forgets that I am caring for 2 kids, home schooling AND working from home during the week. He does fuck all. Gets himself up in the morning, gets ready for work and goes. Comes home when the kids have been bathed and put to bed. His work takes priority. I'm working till 12 at night sometimes just to get my hours in. 🙄

Back to today. It's out best friends sons birthday and we are going down the park for a picnic. I had to go and get present and food etc. At 6am (after 11 hours solid sleep) 10 month old DD2 wakes up
First thing she hears is "Ohh fuck off!" and once he's sat on the bed huffing and stomping she cries our for him and she gets another "Oh just fuck off!" Grabs her out of cot tells me to "Set a fucking alarm" and strops off downstairs. I come down at 9.30 and first thing I get is "I'm going back up for a couple of hours" I tell him he can't as I've got to shops to get stuff for today... "Fucking great" DD2 is finding her voice and eveytime she utters or shouts a noise he goes ballistic. She wants attention and interaction but he just sits there on his fucking phone and then moans when she tries to get his attention 😕

I get back from shopping and DD2 is nowhere to be seen. He says he's put her to bed as "she just kept fucking whinging at me". 2 hours before her actual nap so going to now screw up her routine for the day.

DD1 had been very good all week and had some money saved up from tooth fairy, so I got her a toy. She was so excited. "Daddy, daddy, daddy look!!!" takes his eyes away from his phone for 2 seconds to grunt "yeah". She was crestfallen. He then says he's going up to bed.

I was fucking livid. It's like he can't be arsed with the kids. He's a selfish prick and I've quite frankly had enough of his attitude. I really don't want to go to this picnic today as I know he's just going to sit there with his sunglasses on with a can of cider and a face like a slapped arse. Leaving me to deal with the kids, stropping as soon as I ask him to do anything and just generally being fucking rude.

AIBU to have had enough? Does anyone else's DH have the same attitude... Or should I say any X-DH's? My SIL has already told me to leave him and that she would fully support me as she can't understand how I've stayed so long!!! 😕

[billy1966]

It's possible one of the saddest things on here, and goodness that takes something.

To be able to articulate that at Santa age...absolutely heartbreaking.

@BarbedBloom🙏🙏

[backseatcookers]

At 38 I am still in therapy after growing up with a dad like this. I used to write no daddy on my Christmas wishlist.

Oh @BarbedBloom that broke my heart

[Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel]

she cries our for him and she gets another "Oh just fuck off!"


He's checked out of fatherhood and your marriage. He's a nasty bully and you need to LTB. Sorry OP

[monkeymonkey2010]

he showed that he can change his behaviour - but only when his reputation is at risk in front of others.
crying??? crocodile tears more like.

if you hadn't spoken to someone and he hadn't been 'pulled up' on it by them.....he wouldn't have done the u-turn in attitude.
abusers rely on the 'victim's' silence - so good on you for telling someone.

don't be fooled by any further platitudes from him either.
if he wants back, and you want to give him a chance, then he can stay at his parents and start acting like someone who gives a shit.

[billy1966]

@BarbedBloom
That is so very sad.

No Daddy on a Christmas list really says everything.
Wishing you well

[BarbedBloom]

Good for you. At 38 I am still in therapy after growing up with a dad like this. I used to write no daddy on my Christmas wishlist. He could be nice for a day or two as well but we would always be waiting for the next outburst

[AcrossthePond55]

Oh well done both you and that friend.

Stand tall and strong. You are woman, hear you ROAR!!!

[CaptainButtock]

God, that's awful op. I'm afraid this lockdown has really driven all the wankers out into the open.

Ltb.

[Oysterbabe]

Well done OP. Don't be fooled by him being a parent for 1 afternoon, he will ruin your and your children's lives.

[Home42]

Yeah, I had one of those. He’s an ex husband now. He’s much nicer to me and DD!!

[aintnothinbutagstring]

You're making excuses for him. No my DH is nothing like that, he delights in interactions with our kids, if he's tired he will just say so. I'm sure many of have been bullied, not had the best parenting, on the autistic spectrum but don't take it out on our kids.

[Mary46]

Feel for you. Yes he would want to think hard about his actions. Yes we all tired but have to juggle our kids. Well done standing up to him.

[Windyatthebeach]

Good result op. Your dc will be much happier.

[BacklashStarts]

Your mate is worth her weight in gold. Really glad you have someone like her in your corner.

[billy1966]

Well done OP.

For speaking to your friend and for showing him the door.

You all deserve so much better than the stress and misery he brings to the home.

Lucky girls to have one parent who cares for them at least.

[Bin85]

Get rid
For vile language if nothing else

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I hope his parents give him a bloody good dressing down as well!
He needs to realise his behaviour is completely unacceptable, regardless of whether or not you split (probably too late for him to make good).
Glad the friend told him what for as well. x

[emilybrontescorsett]

I think after lockdown divorce lawyers will be very busy.
A lot of people are seeing their spouse for who they truly are now.

[Ozzie9523]

Please be strong and stick to this OP. He won’t change and he’s just panicked today. You have your whole life ahead of you and if you’re still with him in 10/20 years you’ll be so wishing you’d left him when you and the kids were young. You deserve someone better and will find them one day x

[Whattodowhattodooo]

@Thomasina79

Thankyou 🙂

We went to the picnic and I told one of my best friends what had happened this morning. She pulled him to one side and called him a selfish c*nt (she's not one to hold back) He was a bit taken aback to say the least. 45 minutes later he came up to me and gave me a cuddle, apologised profusely. Picked up baby gave her a cuddle and started crying. He then took eldest to the skate park and spent an hour watching her do her "tricks". She loved it.

I've told him that I don't accept his apology and that I am going to leave because I don't want the girls to be around a miserable bastard who shouts and swears at them and I don't want to constantly be on egg shells because of his shitty moods. He's gone to his parents.

[perfumeistooexpensive]

I had a very similar experience. My XH's behaviour escalated and he hit DD. That was the end, seeing her face all bruised. Get out now before things get worse. My XH was parented just the same. He was given in to over everything. He's with wife number three now and they are isolating in different houses, which is significant and shows that he's never improved.

[Thomasina79]

I’ve been thinking of you since I saw your message. You and your lovely girls deserve so much more!

[EdersonsSmileyTattoo]

You lost me at him telling DD to fuck off!

What a horrible, nasty piece of work.

Tell him to sling it, you and your DD’s deserve far better OP.

[OldQueen1969]

High five @gumball37

[gumball37]

I just want to add... Fuck off (haha) to the you knew/picked him crowd.

Must be nice living a charmed life🙄

My ex (father of oldest) faked it very well... Then I got pregnant (with a baby he also wanted) and he lost his fucking mind. Left him only a few weeks later and our divorce was finalized 1 month after my son was born. He's never shown any interest in him... But now does support him by court order and automatic payment.

Anyway... My last 2 are donor babies because I didn't want to go through that shit again. But my point is... You don't know.

Hell... If it was THAT easy to tell when someone is a shitbag.... Why are people murdered, raped, kidnapped etc.... I mean... Shouldn't everything be soooooo obvious🤦