To plant my entire garden with these?

[DandelionWars]

Name changed in case my neighbour is on here - I don't want her going through my posting history and even by making changes to the story it is still so (imo) batshit crazy that neighbour will recognise herself.

For context, before I moved into my house an anti-social behaviour report was filed against me. There was no-one in my house. It was empty bar the flooring person who was working between the hours of 2pm and 4pm, two weeks day in a row with no electricty, so I highly doubt he behaved in an unsocial manner. Parking is tight around here so it is entirely plausible that he pissed someone off by parking in 'their' space.

The day I moved in my neighbour knocked on my door to ask if I could stop my child playing outside after 7pm because her kids go to bed at 7. I was abit but complied much to dd's dismay who was playing quietly alone in the garden at the time of the complaint. A complaint was then made to my LL about DD playing out 'at all hours'.

A few months later DD got a thing that made noise during the day. the neighbour knocked to complain. I apologised. I moved the thing away from the party wall. The LL arrives on my doorstep a week later to ask about the thing and let me know a complaint has been made. I showed the LL the thing, discussed the noise and the previous agreement with the neighbour to move the thing and the steps I was taking to ensure the thing did not make noise on an evening. The LL was satisfied and agreed the thing was not an issue.

Various other niggly complaints were made but nothing was reported to the LL until the dandelion war started.

There are daffodils in my garden, the neighbour thinks they're dandelions (they're not dandelions or daffodils but I'm changing details on the off chance the neighbour doesn't believe she is only the person batshit crazy enough to care about dandelions) because she thinks they're ugly. They've been there since we moved in.

The neighbour asked me if she could remove all of the daffodils. I agreed even though we like the daffodils. She did not remove them but continued to complain about them. I got a bit fed up and removed half of the daffodils and cut the rest right down. DD was upset because she really likes the daffodils. She picks them and takes them to her dad's every year and they make things with them.

A week after removing half of the daffodils the LL calls about the 'condition' of the garden. I talked about the daffodils the LL agrees if that is the only issue I can keep the daffodils but there are now three complaints on file about me so he wants me to be aware I am being monitored and will need to have extra inspections.

So, now I am pissed and fed up of agreeing to the neighbour's petty and frankly batshit complaints and have decided to plant an entire forest of daffodils all over my lawn (LL said it's fine as long as daffodils are kept tidy and maintained).

AIBU?

NB - all over the lawn might be overkill. I'll probably just replace the ones I culled to pacify the neighbour and maybe plant one or two more.

[SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing]

@Butteredtoast55

They're not really daffodils. Nor are they dandelions. Names have been changed for anonymity. There's also a thing that makes a noise. I can't really be bothered.

This made me laugh far more than is normal

[3cats]

What I mean is that when your LL comes round for the inspection make it clear that you have done nothing wrong and have a right to quiet enjoyment of your home. Your LL needs to stop pandering to the complaints too.

[3cats]

I voted YANBU but actually I think you are being unreasonable to pander to this woman. You need to use the grey rock technique and stop engaging with her. You also need to be firm with your LL that you are doing nothing wrong and won’t be harassed in your own home by either of them.

[YouDancin]

If you do want your budgie to sing put on Youtube one of those recordings of the jungle. My MIL had one and we played a Jungle CD and it tweeted and tweeted so happily.
Try this ...
or this

And screw your neighbour. She's an utter bully. Let your DD play out whenever she likes and plant what you like.

[jackdawdawn]

@SofiaAmes

jackdawdawn I'm sure you meant that as a joke, but as someone who has had children's services called on me as a retaliation for making a complaint to a hospital about a social worker, I really think it's not a funny joke. The next door neighbor does sound like a PITA, but that doesn't make her an unfit parent and it's not a good idea to waste already stretched thin services.
I second the posters who suggested telling the bully that you will not allow her to harass you anymore and that you will be making a report to the police.
And perhaps you might just want to spend the money to put up your own screen.

@SofiaAmes I wasn't joking actually. I know that many unpleasant people do make unwarranted contact with CS out of malice etc. But this woman does not sound well. I am curious about her husband/partner, if one. What does he have to say? It sounds as though there are issues -anger, delusions of persecution, OCD? The most frequent words on this thread are 'mad' and 'batshit', but that's not funny if you are a small kid and that's your mum! Doesn't have to be Social Services who contact her -it could be handled more discreetly by a health visitor etc.

[DandelionWars]

The fence is one of those wrought iron ones. The raspberries do spread but for reasons known only to the raspberries themselves they only spread to my lawn. I never seen them on her side of fence. Perhaps they're aware of her hatred of them

I do pull them out when they creep too far onto my grass and I pull out anything that appears to originate from my garden that is too close to the fence. She doesn't have a flower bed on her side of the fence so if it's not grass and it's near her side I assume it's a weed and yank it out.

Dd did investigate a second budgie but the first one tried to kill the new one so we gave the new one back to the budgie man. It sings for dd when she's not there but it's happy just sitting on or near her when she's home.

I'll mention all of your points to ll when pops round for the raspberry inspection and chat he promised.

[CharmerLlama]

I had a budgie when I was a teenager. Used to put a dark cover over its cage when I wanted it to shut up for the evening. Does your NDN also complain about the birds in the garden tweeting? That's probably your fault too .

[Stompythedinosaur]

I'd start by writing a letter tot he landlord going through the issues raised, info about them being unreasonable (such as the fact you weren't living in the house at the time).

Don't do things you don't have to do (such as s6opping your dd playing in her garden or changing your plants) but do be clear that you are making an effort to be quiet and considerate neighbours.

Say clearly that you consider the complaints to be harassment and not reasonable, and that you will pursue via the police if they continue, and that you would appreciate the LL's support. And then ask the LL to let you know their thoughts.

[FamBae]

I agree with WorkingItOutAsIGo it sounds like it is more your LL's problem than yours, he needs to ignore her ramblings and back you up.

[acatcalledjohn]

I would tell your LL in no uncertain terms that if he doesn't manage these petty complaints without involving you you'll be going to the police to report this continuous harassment. He's basically now complicit in affecting your right to quiet enjoyment of the property.

If that doesn't work then follow up on your word and report the neighbour to the police for harassment. I'm sure your LL would love having an official neighbour dispute linked to his property.

[recklessruby]

OP you do know that budgies are sociable birds? So maybe your one needs a friend to chatter with?
and maybe the cages could go against the party wall ---- you have my sympathy. Neighbours like that are 100% more irritating in lockdown.

[SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy]

And I still can't believe she complained about a budgie - possibly the least offensive pet a neighbour could possibly have. It's hardly a fucking T. rex is it, which just serves to highlight her lunacy

[SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy]

Your neighbor is insane. Pandering to the demands of the insane only serves to reinforce that they are in the right and justifies them continuing. Any and all requests must be met with a 'no, I won't be doing that / changing that' firm but polite. If they persist tell them their behavior is harassment and if it continues you will be taking legal advice.

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

I used to have budgies. They can be noisy sometimes but can also sing beautifully. I'd just move it away from the party wall to the other side of the room. Cover the cage with a cloth at night.

Having looked at raspberry bushes I can see why your ndn might get them mixed up. Do you have just a wire fence or wooden palings between your gardens? In any event, I would just tell her they are raspberry canes and are staying and just prevent them from growing through into ndn's garden.

Any chance of LL erecting more appropriate fencing? I bet he's had problems with them before.

[GlamGiraffe]

I'd start reporting ndn for harassment personally.
A budgie is a perfectly allowable, ordinary pet. If your garden is tidy and well looked after, what you plant in it is your business, and if its not causing a disturbance your daughter can be quietly outside until 4am if it suits you.
Keep a record and report your neighbour.
Why should you face problems because your ndn is unhinged.

[Nearlyalmost50]

I actually could hear my neighbour's budgie very faintly cheeping through our paper thin walls, but I didn't go round and complain about it as I am a normal person and it didn't bother me anyway.

[MitziK]

Thornless Blackberries are great.

Right up til the point they send out bastarding suckers that seem to want to overcompensate for the lack of thorns elsewhere on the plant. Very invasive, too.

Blueberries need to be in a pot with Ericaeous (acidic) compost. They're fine, then.

Unless it's chirping the intro to Peppa Pig (and even then, Starlings and Corvids are very good mimics), the noisy bird could easily be something outside and nothing to do with you at all.


As the landlord is fine with you adding plants, I'd suggest trying again with the Sloes and maybe introducing Gooseberries on the fence border. A truly evil person would chuck a packet of mint seeds over the fence, as they are extremely invasive and have the regenerative powers of hydra's teeth, so I wouldn't ever suggest you did that.

[steppemum]

this is harassment.

You really, really need to make a list of all her ridiculous complaints.
Then you need to get your landlord on side, really agree with pp about mentioning the difficulty of living next door to nightmare neighbour.

She cannot complain about normal family noise at normal hours. Your dd is entirely allowed to play in the garden, and to have a budgie without her complaining (assuming the budgie doesn't wake the street up at 4 am)
You are entirely allowed to grow what you like in yoru garden, including blackberries if you so choose.

You need to push back a bit, and then firmly say - we are allowed under law to enjpy our own house, as we like. You need ot stop complaining or we will take legal action

I am always on the side of keeping the peace, but at some point you can send her a letter of cease and desist or whatever it is called.

[BarbaraofSeville]

The time to have stopped engaging with the mad neighbour was when she started trying to dictate what sort of flowers you had in your garden.

That's no business of hers, if she doesn't like them, she can stop looking at them and I can't believe you actually removed them because she asked you to.

If she rents, complain to her landlord about the harrassment/restriction of quiet enjoyment if she won't leave you alone.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

You are entitled to quiet enjoyment of your own home. Smile and remind her that all complaints must be lodged with EVH and recorded in a file which will be available to any prospective buyers in the future. If she owns the home she is devaluing her property and needs reminding.

[roombadoyourthing]

I had budgies growing up. They do talk and tweet and chirp to themselves a fair bit but no way could that be heard through a wall. They're not that loud.

Raspberry bushes are nice. Tell your landlord you're putting in a complaint about her as others have said she is harassing you. And let your dd out to play. If she comes round to complain tell her she's harassing you and you've put in a formal complaint for harassment.

[CSIblonde]

If she bothers you again tell her youre logging every incident as its harrassment. If your garden is maintained as per tenancy's contractual requirwments, it's none of her damn business.

[TheSandman]

Wait? Your neighbour can't tell the difference between Raspberries and Blackberries?

[SofiaAmes]

jackdawdawn I'm sure you meant that as a joke, but as someone who has had children's services called on me as a retaliation for making a complaint to a hospital about a social worker, I really think it's not a funny joke. The next door neighbor does sound like a PITA, but that doesn't make her an unfit parent and it's not a good idea to waste already stretched thin services.
I second the posters who suggested telling the bully that you will not allow her to harass you anymore and that you will be making a report to the police.
And perhaps you might just want to spend the money to put up your own screen.

[1forAll74]

Did you say you had a budgie? they are not song birds, maybe it's a canary, as they sing and whistle. But you don't leave either bird out all night. But did you mean a real bird, or a toy bird that makes a noise.
It's been a funny kind of post, but quite enjoyed the visit to your garden.