Is this neighbourly act acceptable?

[oldmum2020]

I have a big dilemma and I need some of your opinions. We have been close friends with our neighbours for the last 15 years, I have wine o'clock every Friday afternoon with Sue and go away every year for a girly holiday. They have right of access through our drive and last Saturday, they employed 2 people to pressure wash it. Problem is that they washed all the crap off their drive onto ours, our house and garden. My windows and car needed washing, my block paving was covered in dirty greasy sludge and my front garden has a 3 inch layer of sand all over it. Needless to say we weren't happy and spent 3 hours cleaning up the best we could. He eventually swept our drive but shouted at me saying it was my fault for listening to his wife who was allegedly going to clean it up. Now this has obviously damaged our relationship and I dont know whether or not to end our friendship. Everyone I have spoken to says what they did was unacceptable but they seem to think its OK. They do have drains on their drive or there is a public footpath at the front which could have been used but they opted for our property. What should I do?

[SingingSands]

Hi OP

I've actually been in this position and it's not just a bit of dirt like people think, it's an almighty mess. In my case it was as a result of my neighbour having their roof pressure washed and the entire back of my house was coated - my conservatory was covered, the bedroom windows, the path, garden, it looked like explosive diarrhoea!!

My advice is that you need to take this up with the contractor. I phoned up the guy who ran the company and tore an absolute strip off him until he agreed to send out someone the next day to clean it up.

[AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff]

This isn’t the OP’s fault.

I wouldn’t expect my property to be left filthy and would assume that it would be made good before they left too.

I don’t think you handled it badly OP. I might have said something when I noticed it was left before I started cleaning though.

Either way he’d have been a gobby twat probably and you’d have had a half arsed cleaning attempt to boot.

[Thelnebriati]

The contractors aren't permitted to spray the gunk and sand down the drains. So they used your drive and garden. It might count as fly tipping if you want to make a complaint.

[oldmum2020]

@heartsonacake

In reply, we came home when they were half way through cleaning their drive. The "contractors" were not a proper company but 2 young lads stripped to the waist with a battered van - next door has a habit that he must hire cheap. I assumed (clearly incorrectly) that he would get the chaps to clear up after them so we saw no need to speak to him at the time. It was some time after they had gone that I went to move my car that we found out that he had left it like that . Having read some of the previous comments, I agree that we possible handled it badly as well but that doesn't excuse the fact that he yelled abuse at me or did that in the first place.

[SoupDragon]

He didn't apologise and he shouted at the OP and said it was all her fault. Did she also do those things?

[SoupDragon]

@heartsonacake

the fact that the arsehole neighbour watched the guys spray it all over the OP's front garden and didn't say anything

SoupDragon So did OP.

And? Wouldn't you assume they would be clearing it up at the end?

The OP hasn't done anything wrong. It's all on Arsehole Neighbour and the contractors.

[Darbs76]

I’d let it go, why not just say the people who did it should come back. They didn’t actually physically do it so easy to blame the contractors

[heartsonacake]

the fact that the arsehole neighbour watched the guys spray it all over the OP's front garden and didn't say anything

SoupDragon So did OP.

[SoupDragon]

@Bluntness100

It's not over a "bit of dirt" is it?

Well yeah that’s exactly what it is.

No it isn't. It's about a lot of mess, the fact that the arsehole neighbour watched the guys spray it all over the OP's front garden and didn't say anything, didn't go and apologise for the mess and then shouted at her saying it was her fault. Or it is if you've actually read the OP's posts.

[heartsonacake]

OP, you still haven’t answered why you saw it happen, let it happen, and then decided to be angry at the neighbours and not the company afterwards rather than just speaking up earlier

[Bluntness100]

It's not over a "bit of dirt" is it?

Well yeah that’s exactly what it is.

[user1494055864]

Hire or borrow a pressure washer, and wash all the sludge back onto their drive
My dh recently washed our drive, and the sludge went on our neighbours grass verge, and I was absolutely mortified when I saw it, and got him to go and rinse it off.

[SoupDragon]

@Bluntness100

Can’t imagine I’d end a friendship over some dirt. But you need to do you.

It's not over a "bit of dirt" is it?

[Bluntness100]

Can’t imagine I’d end a friendship over some dirt. But you need to do you.

[zingally]

Your garden has a 3 inch layer of sand over it? Just from pressure washing a driveway? Honestly, I don't believe you.

But if it really is as bad as you say, go round to neighbours, knock, and ask that the pressure wash people come back and sort out the mess.

[oldmum2020]

Sorry, just to clarify - the drive is mine alone. Their house is next to ours but the only way to their house is through my drive. Their drive is huge and is all block paved - she pressure washed it herself about 15 years ago but did it bit my bit so it had minimal impact on us whereas these guys removed every single scrap of oily sand possible towards our house (by the way, her drive looks terrific now). Although I am great friends with Sue, hubby is a prize arsehole but because he had done nothing to upset us personally, we kept friendly regardless.

[JinglingHellsBells]

This is really very simple and no dilemma.

The drive belongs to @oldmum2020.

Neighbours have right of way over it to their house.

They have no legal right to do anything to it.

Wine o' clock and girls days away or not.

Madness.

Why have you got this so muddled up OP?

Either it's not your drive as you think, or you have got very blurred boundaries( in every sense) over what is allowed and not.

Can you clarify?

[Lordamighty]

I don’t think some posters on here realise what a mess these power washing cowboys make & they never seem very particular about where the dirty water & debris goes.
Same thing happened to a friend of mine OP, her & the neighbours fell out over it. The windows, walls, front door & garden of her house were covered in filthy water & clumps of dirt.

[Wheresthebiffer2]

Have you ever tried power washing? (it's quite fun). lol. But does make a splashy mess if you don't really know what you're doing (that's me).

[Itwasntme1]

My neighbour hired people to power wash their driveway.

The chemicals they used killed their lawn and Half of mine. They never apologised or even mentioned it.

I have taken a deep breath and moved on (well nearly😂). I reseeded the lawn, not worth frosty relations over SS few moths or ugly lawn and a couple of boxes of seeds.

[JinglingHellsBells]

@Cammymyle @oldmum2020

I know!

We have neighbours who have a right of way down a tiny path (to their back garden) down the side of our house. We maintain it but don't need to use it for access, but could if we wished and do use it now and then, to maintain it.

The land registry docs and deeds make it 100% clear that it's OUR path and they are not allowed to 'loiter, park anything there (ie bikes) or allow their kids to play there.
It is purely for coming and going.

When the house was sold we asked the agents to make sure that potential buyers new exactly what was what because - for example- we didn't want a family where kids might be playing on it (it butts right up against our living room wall).

I simply cannot get my head round your experience @oldmum202 where you are allowing a family to take over your drive as if it were theirs.

[limitedperiodonly]

How can the sludge be greasy?

I can tell you don't know a lot about sludge @TheOrigBrave

[makingmammaries]

I can see how this would be the end of a friendship. Sue is likely to take her husband’s side. This has happened to me in a slightly different context. Not much scope for coffee and holidays if Sue decides it’s easier to blame OP.

[MarginalGain]

I really can't understand how this could happen between good friends.

[LivingThatLockdownLife]

I'm confused why neighbours got your drive washed OP.