My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Why do older men like the company of young women so much

29 replies

SassyCat3 · 30/05/2020 09:34

I don't mean sexually. I mean friendships.

Everywhere I've worked, there have been loads of men (50+) who are friendlier with younger women (in their 20s) yet don't behave the same way to other demographics. Yet women don't act the same way around younger men.

Is it an ego thing, or do they genuinely think younger women are more fun and interesting to be around?

OP posts:
Report
OldLace · 30/05/2020 17:50

@middleager
I am female. And, I agree with you. Mostly because I think it is the latter of my reasons which hold true for most 'older men / younger females'

Report
Buster72 · 30/05/2020 13:34

I'm nearly 50 and lead a team of 11 almost exclusively in their 20s, men and women.

Well as its a work place you don't always get a choice who you are surrounded by. These are the people the company hired so everyone has to get along.

Sometimes just chatting to a younger person casually, like asking how their weekend went it is always going to be more interesting to hear about a young person's jaunt to a festival or some such.

Report
Experimenopause · 30/05/2020 13:31

@Pumpertrumper

I heard the best explanation of this years ago (when I was the young girl in an office of 40 something men).

‘Men like to feel like they have their shit together but they’re always on the back foot with women their own age. Those 40 something women call them on their bullshit. Whilst a 20 year girl thinks it’s cool they have a car, job and home, the 40 something woman is fed up they didn’t wash the car, get a promotion or hoover without being asked. Younger women generally expect a lot less and flatter their ego!’

This is so true.
Report
middleager · 30/05/2020 13:30

And, If older men are seeking out younger people to relive their youth with/have fun then why not seek out younger men instead of women? Hmm

I'm in my late 40s and far too cynical.

Report
middleager · 30/05/2020 13:28

@OldLace

Friendships across age ranges can be very beneficial.
I've always been drawn to people 20/-30 years older than me.

But the older man can be drawn to the younger woman because he is trying to 're-live' his youth / lost opportunities yes.
Or, more cynically, because he finds less experience on her part makes him look 'better' and there is the fact she will be young and attractive sexually too.

Not sure if you are male or female Old Lace, but rarely see young men forging relationships with older women.
Report
Patch23042 · 30/05/2020 13:18

The type of 50yo man who surrounds himself with numerous twentysomething women is not interested in “friendship”. Look at the ghastly Philip Green with all the models on his yacht.

The odd one or two mates who happen to be younger but are on the same wavelength, fair enough. Bruce Forsyth’s relationship with Tess Daly struck me as being like this - sincere, no-strings. Although I don’t know for sure of course 😆

Report
Pumpertrumper · 30/05/2020 13:14

I heard the best explanation of this years ago (when I was the young girl in an office of 40 something men).

‘Men like to feel like they have their shit together but they’re always on the back foot with women their own age. Those 40 something women call them on their bullshit. Whilst a 20 year girl thinks it’s cool they have a car, job and home, the 40 something woman is fed up they didn’t wash the car, get a promotion or hoover without being asked. Younger women generally expect a lot less and flatter their ego!’

Report
PicsInRed · 30/05/2020 13:09

I don't mean sexually. I mean friendships.

They're not friendships. 🤣🤣🤣

Report
Mummyshark2019 · 30/05/2020 13:05

Makes them feel young and superior.

Report
OverUnderSidewaysDown · 30/05/2020 13:02

Grin1300cakes

Report
1300cakes · 30/05/2020 12:55

Gosh what a mystery Grin How will we ever work out why old men seek out the company of young, sexually attractive women? Is Sherlock Holmes available, this one is a real head scratcher.

Report
Sindragosan · 30/05/2020 12:54

I find older men are much less trouble generally - they're settled in life and in their job, and generally secure in themselves. Happy to pass on their experience - it makes them feel better and helps younger ones.

Similar ages, especially in work, are likely to be chasing the same jobs, projects etc, and it can be tough to get a 'proper' friendship with someone who could get that job you really want etc.

Report
OldLace · 30/05/2020 12:49

Friendships across age ranges can be very beneficial.
I've always been drawn to people 20/-30 years older than me.

But the older man can be drawn to the younger woman because he is trying to 're-live' his youth / lost opportunities yes.
Or, more cynically, because he finds less experience on her part makes him look 'better' and there is the fact she will be young and attractive sexually too.

Report
trellishead · 30/05/2020 12:40

Wisdom even. Grin

Report
trellishead · 30/05/2020 12:39

You only have to look at the responses to see how bitter people really are. Wiseness doesn't automatically happen with age. That's a real lesson for you to learn. Once that's realised, you can understand that it really isn't an age thing when people choose or gravitate towards another. Rationalise it to suit your narrative all you want.

Report
WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 30/05/2020 12:36

I think when we become adults age in friendships matters less.

Most of my friends are older. I'm in my 30s, one of my closest friends is in her 70s.

My youngest friend is in her 50s. I have a few male friends too and the dynamic is roughly the same.........it's just the way it panned out. 💁🏻‍♀️

Report
trellishead · 30/05/2020 12:36

Yes, less bitter. It's not not nice to be around judgemental people. Get it?

Report
Macncheeseballs · 30/05/2020 12:34

Less bitter than the op? That's a little snarky

Report
trellishead · 30/05/2020 12:33

Who cares? Maybe they are less bitter.

Report
dottiedodah · 30/05/2020 12:20

Its an ego boost really isnt it?! Remember reading somewhere that men want to marry someone like their daughters ,and women someone like their fathers!(Not literally obv!) The attraction of power , life experience and a more comfortable life position ,will attract beautiful young women to older men ,Think Carrie/Boris .Bernie/Fabiana. Micheal/Catherine to name but a few .Older men to young women needing no explanation obv!

Report
Mrspeachhh · 30/05/2020 09:52
Envy
Report
Clancey · 30/05/2020 09:51

They’ve got their youth, & the old gits probably find this refreshing compared to their 50+ partners. Of course there’s also the possibility of a shag out of it too.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Aisforharlot · 30/05/2020 09:51

Ego stroking. Young women are more likely to laugh At their jokes and be deferential. Women their own age will roll their eyes.

Report
Stripesgalore · 30/05/2020 09:50

Sex, power and status.

Report
treenu · 30/05/2020 09:48

Courtneylurve- you beat me to it! My boss does this, surrounds himself with young women and those of us that can see through him are bitter! I don't even think I'm old!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.