Did you marry/settle down with the love of your life?

[EdinburghFirstTimer]

Or did you end up with someone else?

Do you have any regrets?

Are you still in touch with any ‘The One’ exes?

Do you miss sex with an amazing ex?

[UnaCorda]

@tava63 - thank you.

[BeingKindIsFree]

Why do you ask OP?

I'm always slightly suspicious of an OP where their reasons for asking are not clear and there are a list of questions that read like they are for an article. Plus they don't return to the thread.

[blackandredball]

I don't think romantic love is that powerful for me, unlike maternal love. But I'm perfectly happy with my chap

[Raella50]

Married my “one”. Absolutely adore him.

[gwenneh]

Q for the people who married their soulmates:how did you grow up? Were you in intact, happy, stable family setups?

Yes, I grew up in a happy family. We're still all very close; my parents will have been married 42 years this year and my grandparents for 67. We all live within 10 miles of each other and up until covid visited at least weekly, if not more.

[Apirateslifeforme]

I didnt marry the one who I've always been convinced was my "one"
We dont talk anymore. It's all quite sad because we really loved each other. It took me years to get over. I grieved for him like he had died. I ached for him for years. I tried my best to put him behind me, then we spoke after I got married, and he told me I was the only person he would have ever married.at that time he still had remnants of me in his wallet some 7 years after we split up.

I dont miss him so much as miss the way I felt around him.

He was the first person who ever seemed to care for me, and I was the first person who really loved him, and god I really did.

The man I did marry is genuinely the best person I've ever met. And I love him, were best friends, but its different. We can go 3+ months without sex. After 10 years of telling him so many things no one else knows, he still doesn't know what I need, or like. I dont feel very understood by him

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

P.S. That doesn't mean I believe that only ppl from intact, happy families can create stable relationships themselves, I know plenty of happy couples whose parents divorced/separated.

I'm just saying that my parents showed me how to deal with relationship stresses, which has helped me along the way.

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

Q for the people who married their soulmates:how did you grow up? Were you in intact, happy, stable family setups?

DH's upbringing was idyllic; my family had an unusual number of health and financial problems to deal with, but there was a lot of love. I think it showed me that couples can get through really tough times together.

I don't believe in "the one" idea, but I definitely married someone I was in love with, I was mad about him! Aside from the passion, though, there was tremendous respect for him and that's never subsided, even when we were knee-deep in nappies and exhausted. I admire his heart and his mind.

I don't know whether he admires mine (he's cleverer than me), but he loves something about me.

[NameChange84]

I wasn’t my “the One’s”, “the One”.

He’s married now and I’m not. 36 and never heard the words “I Love You” or “Will You Marry Me?”

You people that it’s all worked out for are so, so lucky. I took it for granted it would happen for me too. Guess it can’t happen for everyone though.

[BumpBundle]

I absolutely married the love of my life.
I had one serious boyfriend before him who I always thought of as the one who got away. Part of me always thought I'd end up with him and I was always still a little bit in love with him. After I'd been with my current partner for around five years my ex told me that he loved me, wanted to be with me, said we were like Ross and Rachel and destined to be together - then he proposed. I had no difficulty in rejecting him and I realised that I was definitely already with the right guy. If he'd never proposed then I'd probably still think of him as the one who got away - but nope, I've ended up with the right one :)

[corythatwas]

Q for the people who married their soulmates:how did you grow up? Were you in intact, happy, stable family setups?

Yes, I was. And so was dh. I often think with gratitude of his parents who taught him to be good at family life.

But I didn't feel pressured to find someone; my parents were not intrusive in any way and they would not have made me uncomfortable if I had just lived life as I had intended to, focusing on my career.

[Whathewhatnow]

You folks who have married your soulmates are so lucky. For every 10 people like you I bet there are 500+ who are either rubbing along, or just..... single.

Q for the people who married their soulmates:how did you grow up? Were you in intact, happy, stable family setups?

[peachgreen]

Married mine. Knew he was the one the moment I met him and knew I would never settle for anyone else. It was like coming home. Thankfully he felt the same. I never believed in soulmates until I met him but in grateful every day that I did.

[hammeringinmyhead]

I married mine. I met DH at university, we talked all night, and within a few days I had phoned my then-boyfriend of 3 years to end it. (Too far to go home and do it in person!) I have never met anyone more similar to me.

I don't really believe in the "your one soulmate could be in Singapore" idea. I think how you meet someone and where/how you grew up has a big effect on a relationship. It's why college, university, and work relationships are common - you normally have similar interests to end up in the same place at the same time. I only know one successful couple who met on a dating app.

We have been married 10 years and been together 16. We had our son in 2018 so by then had a fair idea of what kind of parent the other might be.

I thought I loved my ex, but in reality we were mostly good friends. I believe some people are in your life for a reason or a season and my home life was quite depressing at that time so he gave me somewhere to escape to.

[IndieTara]

The love of my life was a 9 year relationship that ended when he dumped me 2 months before our wedding and 3 months after buying our dream house together.
I then got married to somebody else 3 years later but it didn't work out

[MsTSwift]

Don’t believe there is one person for you that’s surely mad.

Feel very lucky that met dh at 28 so old enough to both have had other relationships but still quite young. Such a relief meeting dh my other 2 long term relationships one kind but dull the other interesting but erratic and bad temper. Dh combines best of both. And is gorgeous!

[RingaRosie]

Yes, I married the right guy. I was almost 40, and had a lot of fun (and heartache) before him. I could have married richer guys (with good jobs, houses, cars). I’ve had better sex, for sure! Glad I had my heyday, though...
We don’t own a house, have top careers & I risked not having kids (pregnant now, by pure chance). DH not perfect, but we click & the love is real. I enjoy his company. Child will change things, I know that...
I would have married my first boyfriend (I was 23). I was in love with him, but he dumped me. There was the friend, where both of us wondered “what if” (he’s finally getting hitched). And “the one who got away” (everything about him was good 😇)

[PrimeroseHillAnnie]

I married the love of my life and he died in an industrial accident 5 years later. I was 27 and had two small children. That was 20 years ago now but I still think of him. I never thought I’d find happiness again, but I did. Life doesn’t stop. Kids need feeding and bed time stories. Then they grow up. My husband encourages me to talk to girls about their father and I have a picture of him in my room. Just the one. Make the most of everyday, you never know what is round the corner.

[Untrained]

My husband was my first proper boyfriend, I met him when I was 17, we were together 23 years before he died suddenly nearly 2 years ago. In all that time I never met a man who could hold a candle to my husband. He was the most caring, lovely man and made me very happy. We of course had our ups and downs over the years but I was very lucky to have him and life has lost much of its appeal now he’s gone. I will never be with anyone else; the thought makes me feel physically sick!

[Moonshinemisses]

I married the love of my life twice!!. We met 30 yrs ago got married 2 yrs later. We were married for 18yrs and had 4 children together we were so young when we met (16 & 19) but I just knew he was the love of my life. I think all the years of both working hard & raising children we lost each other and our relationship became combative, we just couldn't connect so after rumbling on for a while we separated . It was all very amicable, we both kind of moved on with our lives for 5yrs but it never really seemed like finished business. After one of the kids birthdays we sat & had a few beers and a snog it was lovely, we starting seeing more of each other and we both knew we wanted to be together. We've been married 5yrs. I'm a pain in the ass & he is a grumpy bastard sometimes but it works.

[gwenneh]

Absolutely. I set eyes on him 15 years ago and knew instantly that this was The One. It was like lightning.

Trouble is I was happily engaged to someone else at the time. Wedding planned and booked. Dress bought. My prevailing thought at the time was oh shit, am I about to hurt a lot of feelings.... because even if things hadn't worked out with The One™ it meant that I was in no way capable of marrying the guy I'd been with all through uni. Knowing that I was about to hurt him by dumping him was incredibly difficult, I lost a lot of our mutual friends...but it would have been way, way worse if I had stayed just to spare the fallout.

I still stay in touch with a few of my exes (including ex-fiance) via Facebook, but they're fairly inconsequential -- the occasional "happy birthday" or hello. We still run in the same circle of friends & have some of the same hobbies, so I'm sure they hear about what I'm doing the same as I hear about them. No drama.

No regrets. I've not thought about sex with anyone else since the first time with DH and it's been 15 years. I don't even have the odd dream here and there -- I dream about DH!

[tava63]

Sending you a virtual hug UnaCorda.

[DKanin]

No, I didn't. I married the man I thought I could cope with loosing and I was too afraid to go for the guy I thought the world of because I couldn't stand the possibility of life without him if it didn't work out, so I kept him as a friend. I'm divorced now and "the one" is in a relationship. I bitterly regret making such a bad decision

[Whathewhatnow]

Not me.

My kids' dad is a very competent person stable, solvent, high earner, loves DCs to bits. He followed a volatile, emotionally abusive relationship.
He also liked formula 1 and spreadsheets...


After our relationship ended I met someome much more attuned and we got on brilliantly. Very similar interests, humour, lots of important stuff. However as a punishment (!) he had significant emotional issues and precarious finances.
I'm on my own right now and that is absolutely fine. I dont want or need a bloke unless its worth getting out of bed for....

I actually dont believe in 'the one's either... planet full of people... implausible that only one person is your soulmate...

[elp30]

I married my first husband 30 years ago when I was aged 19.
He was a good man, a good provider and a decent dad to our son.
We are from the same city, our families have known each other for years, we have many things in common.
I was married to him for two years when I realized that I just wasn't that into him.

When I was 16, I had a pen pal from England that I wrote every week.
I was totally fascinated by him and he was so friendly. I vacationed in England when I was 17 to meet each other but we completely missed each other. Oh well. We continued to connect every week and figured that if we met, we would in time.

Once I separated and started divorce proceedings from my first husband, I got a random phone call from the English man and said that he wanted to vacation in America for 10 days and wondered if we could finally meet.

I set eyes on him and I was completely smitten.

Once my divorce was underway, we started a long-distance relationship. All in all, we only spent equivalent of 20 days together within two years. Obviously, when you only see each other 20 days (and it was before the internet), you don't really know each other. We decided that we wanted to be together so we decided the best thing to do was for me and my son was to move to England on a fiancée visa.

We decided to marry within six weeks of our arrival in England in order to comply with the requirements of a fiancée visa.

We had to make our relationship work and we did have our work cut out for us.

We had to actually live together. He had to learn to be a step-father. I had to deal with a young son with his father far away and trying to keep their relationship alive and well. We had our share of culture shock. We had to learn how to navigate every day life such as work and childcare after the wedding. We had to have discussions about whether we would have our own family and if religion would be a part of it and what language (my mother tongue is Spanish and I'm Catholic) we would use. We had to determine how often I would take my son back to see his father. I had to quickly learn about school intakes, registering my son for school. I had to also learn how to cook food that wasn't what I was used to and my new husband didn't cook. Every day was a new challenge but we muddled through.

We have lived through so much these past 24 years.

I was infatuated at first sight. I was blindly in love when I moved over. I have been furiously irritated, annoyed, angered navigating life with him. But, I am also immensely grateful for all the good that we have created and there's been so much happiness.

He has become the love of my life.