Fighting next door - should I call police?

[onalongsabbatical]

Big domestic argument kicking off next door. Middle age-ish couple having terrible shouting match with son (who doesn’t live there but I suspect has been visiting against lockdown). Not the first time. Seems to be son versus parents. Everyone always pleasant but I don’t know them really. Has happened before but not for a while. I worry for the woman’s safety – there’s also a younger daughter who does live there but no sound from her. They are in the garden but it’s hard to hear what’s really happening. Call police or leave them to it? They’ll know it was us (sigh).

[HowFurloughCanYouGo]

I think both men are capable of it turning physical

Men are capable of turning physical in Tesco if they wanted. Or down the pub.

You can't call the police on a 'maybe'

[onalongsabbatical]

Well it's once a year because he's - the son - hardly ever there. It's more like, if the son's there, it'll kick off.
And I can't see what's happening, only hear it. Also we're rural so local police is a distance away - 20 minutes drive at least.

[PumpkinP]

I wouldn’t call the
Police over someone arguing with no violence, I’ve had an argument before don’t expect people to call the police and they haven’t, do people on here never argue?

[Footywife]

Don't expect the police to actually do something. Unfortunately we have this all the time with our neighbour. The children are hysterical (one of them being autistic). The police do come out but they don't do anything....just stay for a minute then off they go. Social services visit but again, nothing substantial is ever done.....and the circle continues 🙁

[Smellbellina]

Yes I think you should

[onalongsabbatical]

Son is an adult by the way in case that wasn't clear. So two adult men and adult middle-aged mother and girl of prob 17.
It's all still quiet. Maybe he's left - I can't tell from here they're on the main road, we're up a lane, the side of our garden runs along the back of theirs, so I wouldn't know if he'd left the house.

[C152H]

If you think there's a risk someone is, or is about to be, hurt, then call the police immediately.

[Battysace123]

I wouldn't call the police. The son is obviously letting out all his hurt and feelings that he has had bottled inside of him and it's all coming out. I had a big argument with my dad 4 years ago about the way he treated me when younger and it was a relief that it all came out, And helped me mentally to forgive him.
If these arguments are regular I would call the police. Arguments happen. We are human.

[Pelleas]

One of them might be terrified and hoping desperately that someone will call the police, so I would call 101 if it starts again. Better safe than sorry.

[onalongsabbatical]

Arguments happen. We are human.
Yes, I quite agree. Hence worried I'd be doing the wrong thing.

[onalongsabbatical]

Pelleas that's my plan now. Helpful to have got people's feedback here, thank you everyone.

[TheQueef]

Afraid I agree with NannyO
I've seen too much DV over theyears.
Worse case you waste police time checking welfare, much better than the other worse case scenario.

[HowFurloughCanYouGo]

I've seen too much DV over theyears.

But absolutely nothing about what the OP has said, suggests DV.

The son clearly has beef with his folks and they are having a row.
That's not DV that's a fall out.
Last time they are argued was a year ago.
That's not DV either.
In fact, the OP hasn't said anything at all that suggests any type of DV is or has occurred.

Unless of course you're suggesting the son has come over to beat his mum?

[frostedviolets]

I wouldn’t.

If they will know it was you as you say you run a real risk of them getting nasty towards you.

I would also be worried about putting the other members of the family at further risk for aggression and/or violence if he blames them or thinks it was them.

Reality is the police will do very very littke

[TheQueef]

Couldn't and wouldn't try and predict Furlo ime things can just go bang even from the most unlikely person.
If the police have other reports or further info they can decide if it's worth looking at.

[BumpBundle]

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to call the police if needed but I think you're unreasonable to assume that men are violent and women are innocent victims. You can't hear what's happening but you've assumed it's two aggressive men and a poor innocent woman stuck between them who might get hurt. You might want to join the 21st century where the majority of victims of violence are men and forty per cent of domestic violence victims are men.

[FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue]

I don't think the police have powers to intervene because people are having a loud row. It sounds like it's only in your imagination that it might get violent - have you heard any threats? There are no children there, are there?

[isadoradancing123]

Its a family argument, mind your business

[GinDaddyRedux]

"It's all still quiet"...

...then stop thinking about snitching then, and enjoy your Sunday evening!

[Ineedcoffee2345]

Mind your own business. It's a family argument with no violence.

[Ireolu]

I am sure if there is any danger the 17 year old can call. You cannot see the arguement and do not know for certain anyone is being harmed. Leaving yourself to being mistrusted by your rural neighbours. Maybe speak with the mum about the noise when you next see them. There is nothing worse for neighbourly relations than making assumptions.

[GenerateUsername]

You might want to join the 21st century where the majority of victims of violence are men and forty per cent of domestic violence victims are men.

Men are still the aggressors in the vast majority of cases, it’s not all women attacking them

[user1635482648]

Some people on here have depressingly low standards for behaviour in relationships.

If your definition of DV is being beaten black and blue then you're not qualified to comment on whether something is or is not suggestive of DV.

[DFAMA]

It wouldn't be snitching or a noise complaint, its a concern for welfare. I'm glad its calmed down now op but if it starts again and you're worried call police and let them decide whether they need to check it out. I know women (and yes I know its not always the woman who is the victim) who have come out of dv relationships and all are grateful to the people who didn't turn a blind eye.

[Itsnotalwaysme]

I would call. I live by the phrase 'What action can I take here that will make me most at peace'

And I know turning a blind eye would play on my mind constantly