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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask when your autistic child started to speak?

101 replies

Merryoldgoat · 22/05/2020 21:32

I have two DS - older is 7 and younger is 2. Older has HFA. He spoke early and has been reading since three. In mainstream school and doing well most of the time.

Younger appears to have some ASD traits and before lockdown was referred for assessment.

He’s got no words. He babbles, makes noises that may be his words for things and repeats some sounds.

When will he talk?! It’s killing me. He’s obviously extremely frustrated that we don’t always understand what he wants but I don’t know how I can help him.

He’s absolutely lovely and full of joy and sunshine but he is HARD WORK and that’s exacerbated by the limited communication.

Older DS could speak in full sentences by 2 so this is all a bit alien.

OP posts:
borntohula · 23/05/2020 21:52

My DS is 7 and doesn't speak and I don't think he ever will and I'm actually ok with it now although life would be easier if he could communicate more effectively.

Needamanicure · 28/05/2020 18:31

I agree with the previous posters - I say my daughter (now an adult and non verbal) has severe learning disabilities and autism..... if I pop autism first they assume a rainman type individual.... 'oooo what gift does she have' ' ooo is she good with numbers' - actually no - sorry!

She has the ability to walk miles though and if in a car and driving to a particular place and I miss the turning she will get very distressed and so know I have gone wrong and make loud noises. We use pictures of places so that she can choose where she wants to go and pictures of dvd covers so she can pick her own choice of film (always a Disney film)

Merryoldgoat · 28/05/2020 19:34

Thank you again everyone.

Just to update we have a bit of progress - he’s started counting and a noun of two are appearing. It’s undoubtedly copying but it’s more than a week ago by quite a distance.

I’ve ordered some resources so he can hopefully communicate better with us regardless of speech.

OP posts:
Mimishimi · 30/05/2020 22:23

5

Sabu1234 · 22/11/2021 14:13

Hello @Merryoldgoat, I’ve just read this whole thread and you updated over a year ago. How has the progression been since then would love to know .

Crunchingleaf · 22/11/2021 14:16

My son started talking at 4. Only had a few words and babble before then. He never shuts up now Smile. He did understand what I was saying to him.

Merryoldgoat · 22/11/2021 15:10

@Sabu1234

Thank you for asking!

He’s now heading towards 4 (will be in Feb) and had his ASD diagnosis confirmed about a year ago.

He’s in mainstream nursery but still doesn’t speak conversationally but he’s very babbly now.

However he has made big improvements - he knows his alphabet (not just to recite, knows the letters) and same with numbers.

He has a few words - bubbles, butterfly, hedgehog and the little bugger calls his TA by her name!

His nursery got SENIF funding in place very early and he adores going - they have been absolutely fantastic.

He also sings a lot - he loves nursery rhymes and sings and does actions to a few.

He also understands a fair bit and understands cues with objects.

He’s an absolute ray of sunshine and his older brother and he have started playing chasing games.

He loves cuddles and has once come over and said ‘tiss’ for a kiss which nearly melted me.

I suspect he WILL talk, just when.

His teacher doesn’t think he has learning difficulties, just autism, but I’m not sure yet.

Older boy is so different it’s like comparing apples and windmills.

What I would say is he hates PECS and refuses to engage. Just chucks the cards on the floor or lines them up neatly. Absolutely no interest in using them.

Really kind of you to check in. Flowers

OP posts:
Sabu1234 · 22/11/2021 17:22

Wow! Amazing update on your son! He’s doing so well! My dd is 2 and I’m in the same bout you were almost two years ago! The unknown is the hardest, what her future holds, will she talk will she be independent! gdd, asd, learning disability we don’t know, she hasn’t been diagnosed yet.

Sabu1234 · 22/11/2021 17:23

@Merryoldgoat

HailAdrian · 22/11/2021 17:35

He might not. 8yo DS is nonverbal. He does say some words but not clearly.

HailAdrian · 22/11/2021 17:35

Tut should have rtft!

Merryoldgoat · 22/11/2021 17:51

@HailAdrian

Don’t worry - easy to do! Im still not sure how much it will develop but the nursery say he’s made a lot of progress quite quickly so fingers crossed.

I just want him to be happy and well when I’m not here.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 22/11/2021 17:56

@Sabu1234

It’s really hard to just have no clue what the future holds.

My older boy is in Y4 and whilst he certainly has some significant areas of need, he’s able academically, has friends, has exceptionally good speech and I expect will be fine as he gets older as he can communicate feelings well and is capable of self care etc.

This little wrecking ball is more of a mystery.

Good luck with your DD - enjoy all of the good bits - the snuggles, the laughs, the excitement etc. It’s all to be cherished and makes the times I’m wiping poo off the wall a bit easier 🤣

OP posts:
Slumcat · 22/11/2021 18:17

My son started making wordy sounds at 3 and started communicating with words at 4, it’s only in the last 3 months aged 6 that most others can understand him as well, for the past 3 years I’ve been a translator

thelegohooverer · 22/11/2021 18:34

As a baby was a hugely animated babbler and really seemed to think he was contributing to every conversation. First words around 12 months, which subsequently disappeared. After 2 he started inventing his own language which was quite a fun phase. He was 3 and a half before he converted to English and at 4 and a half he was still missing quite a few phonemes. Unfortunately the speech therapy seemed to lead to a stutter which came and went until he was about ten.

Never shuts up now and has a fantastic vocabulary,

There was never a point where we didn’t understand each other - it was just other people that were the problem 😂

bigkicks · 22/11/2021 20:56

My DS is six and has never said a word. He's unable to use PECs or sign language yet, but out of his class in his sen school he's the only one that is that severely affected. Not that SALT are interested, they haven't seen him since he was three. Autism comes with different levels of learning disabilities, if any, some will be very able, and some less so. Patience is the key, at 2.5 I'd suggest using makaton as part of your daily life. It's helped my son's understanding if not his reciprocal communication. I used to be desperate for him to speak, but now I've accepted that he may never do so. I'm desperate for any way to communicate with him now, and we're working hard at it.

121314mum · 11/09/2022 21:21

@Merryoldgoat hope you are well, it would be great to hear how your little one is doing now almost a year on!

Merryoldgoat · 11/09/2022 23:38

Hello! How kind to check in on us @121314mum

He’s just started Reception in a specialist ASD unit at the same primary school at the nursery.

The council got his EHCP sorted quite quickly and the school were excellent giving his access to the unit before any official placement.

This has had the added benefit thar he hasn’t needed settling in sessions and did a full day from the outset very happily. He doesn’t even look over his shoulder and the school assigned him a TA he already knew.

His old TA and I cried when he left her though - she was magical.

Unfortunately his speech hasn’t developed as much as I hoped but over Summer we had another little leap - he’s using lots more nouns and uses more learned phrases in context ‘brush your teeth’ when I have the toothbrush, ‘yum yum’ when eating - stuff like that.

Generally we’re very positive but it’s hard some days. However he is like sunshine - happy, bouncy and utterly joyful.

He’s certainly more interested in his brother than before and they play very nicely.

Still no behavioural problems which I’m so thankful for - people just fall for him because he’s like a big fluffy puppy.

We are hopeful for more functional speech but it’s a long road. ❤️

OP posts:
121314mum · 12/09/2022 07:44

@Merryoldgoat thank you for the update. Thats great news he has settled into reception so well and has made progress.

my little one starts reception next year and i am currently in the process of trying to get an ehcp. I feel so anxious all the time about her future. DD knows allot of nouns and can do some phrases e.g push swing, open door, ready steady go but she seems uninterested in most toys now and although i shouldnt compare the gap with peers and even younger peers seems to be getting bigger and bigger. Just so worried for the future.

LuckyCat4 · 12/09/2022 10:02

My son spoke very early on and was using 4 words together before his peers, so sometimes speech can be advanced rather than missing in autistic kids.

Merryoldgoat · 12/09/2022 15:30

@121314mum

The anxiety is unavoidable but I’ve started to feel more reassured as he gets older.

Is your child’s school/nursery supportive? I could not have asked for better and I think that’s the difference for me. ❤️

OP posts:
121314mum · 12/09/2022 16:59

@Merryoldgoat yes the nursery has been supportive i think i feel anxious not knowing what school she will go to and how she will get on there. She is 3 years and 7 months atm and maybe this age is hard to deal with, im hoping my worries and anxiety will alleviate once i know what school she will go to and support she will have.

NanaNelly · 12/09/2022 17:00

My son didn’t utter a word until he was 8.

toooldtocarewhoknows · 12/09/2022 19:35

My first autistic child spoke with two syllables at 10 months. Miles ahead with speech, language and reading. They were fluently reading at 3.

Hugely struggles to this day with social skills, cues and mixing.

Ela1234 · 13/11/2025 07:10

Hello may I ask how your son is now am in Same situation and it’s breaking me

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