AIBU to dream of leaving London?

[alreadypastit]

I’ve lived in London for the last 20 years and think I’ve finally had enough.

We live in a lovely flat but our mortgage is large and we have another 28 years left on it. I wouldn’t say it stresses me out on a daily basis or anything, but it is undoubtedly a weight around our necks.

The hot weather today reminded me that London can be so noisy and relentless. I have a baby and tried to catch some much needed sleep this afternoon, but wasn’t able to because there’s constantly people talking, cars coming and going, neighbours doing home improvements. I would love to live somewhere peaceful and quiet and less claustrophobic, where people aren’t so on top of each other!

The restaurants, bars, museums, galleries, culture and parks in London are undoubtedly second to none, but I barely have the time to visit any of them anyway.

I’m also worried about my child growing up in such a polluted city and am concerned about schools - the ones near us aren’t great from what I’ve heard, but we couldn’t afford to move to a different part of London.

I would love to live by the sea and am thinking of relocating to Kent - maybe somewhere like Margate. If we were to buy there we could reduce our mortgage to about £300 a month, although I’m not sure what we would do about jobs. I’d rather we both worked in the place where we live as I wouldn’t want myself or DH to have to commute back to London every day. I think it would be soul destroying and also very expensive.

AIBU to consider leaving or am I being unrealistic, especially on the jobs front?

[locorito]

@snowybean weren't you on a thread above moving out of London & nursery fees?

[snowybean]

@locorito Haha, yes! But I still love London with all my heart and soul. It's just I've been priced out of my favourite areas (and my DH is not a Londoner and does not share my views!)

[locorito]

I commented on that thread as I've been stung and your user name remind of an old pet, hence why it stuck in my head.

[locorito]

Are you looking at outer zones or further?

[Bottleup]

I wouldn't. I was desperate to leave London and ten years later want to come back. We moved to a naaice little Hertfordshire village which looks pretty but the local mindset - provincialism (read xenophobia with undercurrents of racism) - and the lack of culture is just depressing. London ain't perfect but be wary of romanticising elsewhere.

[2ndAugust]

We moved to the south coast 2 years ago and I would never go back. Best decision we ever made. Bought a detached bungalow for the price of our flat. The downs are at the end of our road, and the sea is 5 minutes drive away. People are nicer, schools are better. Loads of people commute to London from here, we work locally.

[KuckFnows]

locorito

I disagree. There are some absolute dumps in London- complete shitholes.
Equally, there are some decent places.

Horses for courses and all that

[Kahlua4me]

I know several people, some with dc and some without, who have all moved to Old Town, Hastings in the last 10 years. All of them love living there and have adjusted really well. Not one of them would move back now.

[VeniceQueen2004]

I grew up near Folkestone and it was a dump 20 years ago - really really improved in terms of shops, culture, the general vibe, good schools, and the beach has always been wonderful. Light railway and canal in Hythe down the road, Port Lympne zoo nearby, very commutable (if expensively) to London - there's a lot to be said for it. Although of course people realise that now so it's expensive. I couldn't afford to live there. We moved out of London after 10 years to the Midlands - got progressively priced out of every area we rented as we saved for a deposit, finally scraped into buying an ex-LA flat in a resiliently rough and ungentrified part of East London, and realised as soon as we had a baby we couldn't stand people living over us and having to share the garden. I think if we were childless DP would never have left but I was ready to go long before - Londonakes you feel poor even when you're not just because the price of housing and commuting to work even within the city is SO ridiculous, renting or buying. And the cost of childcare and the struggle to get a place is horrific.

Now we live in a terraced house, walk 5 mins to work, 10 mins to nursery, live in a nice area with lots of amenities and stuff to do, 30 min scenic walk to city centre with theatres, good restaurants etc. We can even both afford to work part time. London is amazing in many ways; but especially as the parents of young children, so much of what makes it wonderful is out of reach that it's not worth it for the struggle of just daily living.

[VeniceQueen2004]

Unless of course you're loaded - being rich in London would be AMAZING

[PrimeroseHillAnnie]

First off seaside properties in easy reach of London are expensive, look at Brighton. Secondly, wherever you move to you'll need an income so what sort of jobs are available at the salary that will support you and your family and do you qualify ?. Also you need to at least consider the future prospects for your kids, certainly if you move to somewhere like Margate or Cromer . Youth unemployment in some areas is appalling which means they'll probably have to leave and seek employment elsewhere, London maybe ?. So no, it's not a pipe dream but you've got to use your head as much as your heart. Good luck.

[HarrietTheShy]

Rent somewhere for a year or so to test it out.

[OneOfTheGrundys]

Do you do a lot of what London offers in abundance but can be a bit thin on the ground out of cities? Eg... niche arts experiences etc.
If you do, stay. If not, you may find your lifestyle won’t change that much if you move and you have a more laid back life.
A warning though: public services are generally not as good in Kent as in London. Thanet looks nice in the sunshine but is deprived. Education is still only good in patches. Research everything carefully!!

[speakout]

Unless you are a cuture vulture I can't see the point.

I ive 20 minutes from the heart of the capital. I go to see a show or exhibition once a year- if that. There is an abundance of restaurants, events,lectures- I make very ittle use of that.

People talk of the amazing "culture" that happens in London- do you really use it?

[Fluffybutter]

@speakout yes we did , most weekends and still try to now we live further out .

[Yearcat13]

Do it. I lived in London for 22 years, teaching. Huge mortgage. Threw the towel in. Moved to the coast in Ireland where I'm from. Tiny mortgage now, quality if life gone up a million per cent. I was terrified, lived London but it's the best thing I ever did.

[speakout]

Fluffybutter

I accept that is your way, but I don't believe everyone makes use of the "culture" on their doorstep.

[TerrorWig]

Of course you’re not unreasonable to do what makes you happy!

I wouldn’t. I like living in a polluted city. But, you’re not me.

[dunnybum]

@speakout has a point I think. I only go into zone 1 about once every 2 months now as I work locally. I love my area of zone 3 & will go to the theatre & cinema there tbh.

Weekends are so busy with dc that we just don't have the time to go to a museum every fortnight. They have hobbies, we meet up with friends & family, etc

[Runningonemptea]

A DFL (down from London) to Folkestone-r here and love love love it. Did it a few years ago after moving around (inc abroad). I would never ever go back to the city, even though I was born and raised there. Mortgage free, nicer quality of life, kids thriving. If ever we do pop back for family and friends I literally cannot wait to get back here to our lovely countryside, architecture and stunning beaches. Also DH still commutes (pre coronavirus obviously) and says even that is a joy (less than an hour door to door) compared to what he had before.

[Runningonemptea]

PS family in Margate and I would not live there if you paid me!

[Devlesko]

YANBU, I don't know how people do it tbh.
You couldn't pay me to live at that pace with all those people running round like headless chickens. Nobody ever stops, seems very unfriendly.