To think now would be the safest time to see parents?

[Imperfect12]

Or rather for ds to see GP's? Hear me out. So ds is very very close to GP's, they basically co-parented him in the early years as I was a lone parent working full time.

Anyway, parents have been in complete isolation since mid March and are struggling with lack of contact. DS hasn't seen anyone but me since the schools closed and I have only seen one other person once a week since the start of April (my local shopkeeper) and have worn a mask whilst doing so.

Now, my dad is shielding, both parents early 70's so they are in isolation until end of June, however obviously the virus will still be a threat when lockdown ends. When it does end I'll be back at work in a job where social distancing with colleagues won't be possible and ds may well be seeing a friend or 2 if it's allowed.
Now in my mind at that point the risks will be too high to see them whereas now I feel the risks are very small.
My parents are going to be utterly miserable if they have to spend the next year (which quite possibly could be one of their last) not seeing their GC. They're pestering me to visit but obviously I don't want to be responsible for making them ill but at the same time I don't want them sinking into depression and spending their old age alone and miserable. They basically live for their family and don't have much else going on.

On top of that, and what prompted this post today, ds has broken down in tears again this morning as he's really struggling with not seeing family /friends and is missing school.

So what's other people's thoughts on this? Am I right in thinking now is the safest time of all to see them? I don't feel goverment advice is what I need here as they're obviously concerned with the economy not individuals and common sense tells me post lockdown will be much riskier. The alternative is not to see them at all until treatment /vaccine available by which time they might be dead. Dramatic I know but just being realistic.

[zafferana]

There was even an article about this in one of the papers a couple of days ago. But yes, now is the safest time to go OP, as long as everyone has been staying home and socially distancing for at least 14 days. Once the schools go back (if your DC is in that group, which as an 11-year-old he might be), then that will change. So yes, go now. But as long as you stay at least 2m away you aren't posing any danger to your parents.

[zafferana]

it won't be forever

No, but it could be many, many months and for GPs who are deprived of seeing their family in the flesh, particularly people who are shielding, this situation is pretty fucking depressing. I have family who are shielding and they are finding it really, really lonely already and until we have a vaccine or treatments that mean the very vulnerable aren't likely to die from this virus, they are likely to be shut in their homes. They could be in there for 1-2 years. Seeing their family, even at 2m distance, can make a HUGE difference.

[Itoldyouiwasill]

My elderly parents think the rules don't apply to them and have carried on with their daily supermarket visits ( not at all essential but it is their habit and in their late 80's and extremely healthy this is the choice they made)
All us siblings asked them not to but they were adamant that they were healthy and the rules only applied to people who were vulnerable!
After a few weeks I realised that they were actually behaving like this not just to be bloody minded but out of sheer panic at the isolation. So I started visiting between once and twice a week, meeting them on their drive and going for a walk with them. This seemed to suffice to stave off the panic and they are now only going to a supermarket every 3-4 days.
Apart from work I haven't seen anyone else and we completely socially distance.
I'm glad I've done it, it makes the best sense for my parents and I hope you reach the same conclusion OP

[rookiemere]

So my parents have taken this very seriously as in 80s and DF is diabetic. They haven't seen us since we came back from skiing in Feb and I had a cough. But they're letting us come up on Monday ( we're in Scotland so I'm going to deliver essential supplies of M&S chicken kiev). Infection rates are right down so we're unlikely to give it to them, plus we plan to stay in the garden or car so we'll be outside. It's been long enough - life is for living and seeing our loved ones - doing it outside and at a distance means the chance of infecting them is minimal.

[Averyyounggrandmaofsix]

I think if children are returning to school on 1st June then it makes sense to me to see vulnerable (by age) people before that date.

[BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls]

In your position, I'd do it. Like you say, you can guarantee more now that he isn't contagious than in a few weeks time.

FWIW I'm shielding, my DCs have been too, and my parents are (they're only high risk themselves rather than shielding officially, but my grandparents have moved in with them during lockdown, who are shielding). My mum will be collecting my DCs (5 mins in the car, their drive to my drive, and with dad on standby with a backup car if she breaks down) and having them at their house for a day next week. Given they've been stuck in the house since the beginning of March, now is the safest time for a visit, before some people begin to return to normal. Not that we ourselves have a return to normal any time soon.

[stuckindoors77]

'm surprised at how many people think it's fine to go visiting their families. What would happen if everyone did that?

@CatLadyP

Did what? Sat 2 m away from their families out of doors? Well, people would see their families a bit more and cope with lockdown a bit better probably.

Nobody's suggesting she stays the weekend, invites them for lunch or gives them nice big hugs.

Personally I think if "everybody" did safe, socially distanced out-door meet ups they'd be fine and I'm hoping this is introduced quite soon.

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Go. What’s the point of your parents having a last year in miserable isolation if that is so? All the research is showing it’s very very unlikely to contract the virus outside. We can’t all live terrified forever. My DHs grandma died suddenly 2 weeks ago from cancer, diagnosed and died within 2 days, covid isn’t the only thing killing people and who wants to live life alone and sad rather than with people, life is risky whatever we do

[user1487194234]

I would do it

[Imperfect12]

Well we went on Friday, lovely sunny day, took our own drinks and only stayed for half an hour but so glad we did, it really gave DS a boost and my parents were over the moon. It's a risk they're willing to take.
I am actually getting my shopping delivered, the weekly visit to my local corner shop is actually for my mums cigarettes . I am in and out in less than a minute, wear a mask as does the shopkeeper and only 2 people allowed in, I usually go at the quietest time when there's no-one else in.
The weather's taken a turn for the worse now so glad we went when we did. We're in Scotland so this will officially be allowed as of Thursday anyway.

[CoolShoeshine]

I have to admit I’ve been seeing my dm most days throughout this, mainly because she is so low and lonely. I don’t consider it breaking the rules because it’s always in her garden, at a decent distance and I never touch anything directly, not even the gate handle. I’ve taken the kids too and she was so happy, she didn’t think she would see them for months. I’d never do anything to put her health in jeopardy though, so we always stay a good 3m away but it’s possible to have a good chat. A good compromise at this time I think.

[redcarbluecar]

OP I was thinking the same - now would be a safer time to see elderly relatives than after the return to work. I haven’t done it, but sounds like you had a nice time on Friday and took sensible precautions.

[vanillandhoney]

Go and see them. What kind of a life is it if you can't see your family for months on end?

[bellabasset]

My ndn hadn't seen her dm for 6 weeks so went over with shopping and sat in the garden, now goes weekly. She took her ds yesterday, he's 17, and they did some gardening. (Her dm is in her late 80's)

My cousins, late 60's, went to see their dd and family last week on their dgs' birthday. Again going in the garden. They've done the same with their other dd's family

[Ilovetea09]

We go to my parents once a week now if the weather is OK. We go round into their back garden and sit down, then they come out and sit down over 2m away. We stay a couple of hour's just chatting whilst my daughter plays down on the grass.
My inlaws you can't access their back garden so we just pull up outside and stay in the car. They come out and chat to us from their driveway

[pudcat]

My son is coming this afternoon. I havent seen him for 12 weeks. We will sit in garden the right distance away. If MPs can do what they like, and also say it is ok to go out of area to seaside etc, then so can we.

[littlejalapeno]

I agree. If both households have been in quarantine for 14 days and no one is showing signs of illness then you’re not likely to pass it on in either direction. In those circumstances I would visit family, but try not to rub the neighbours noses in it!

[Campervan69]

Absolutely agree. Use common sense to risk assess. We've been seeing my mum and fil separately on a daily basis throughout maintaining social distance. Usually in the garden. They both decided they would take the minuscule risk. Both are within 2 miles from us so we cycle round as part of our daily exercise.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Sod it i would go round as long as your parents were happy with this.
On a side note i don't feel goverment advice is what I need here as they're obviously concerned with the economy not individuals this is absolute rubbish considering how much the economy is tanking with lockdown

[Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe]

Go OP ...I havent seen my adult son or mum since mothers day..I still wont because she is adamant Boris knows best and wont move til he says its ok! I wold have gone weeks ago personally and I am sure everyones mental health would have benifited from a socially distant chat ..so I still wait but through gritted teeth and resentment.

[vanillandhoney]

I'm surprised at how many people think it's fine to go visiting their families. What would happen if everyone did that?

It's perfectly fine to go and see a family member so long as you maintain social distancing. So, if everybody did that...well, they'd all be following the guidance so there wouldn't be a problem, would there?

I saw my mum last week for the first time in 10 weeks and I'll see her again this coming week. Yes, we may not be able to hug and she can't pop in for a cup of tea but that doesn't mean we can't spend time together.

[pudcat]

If it is ok to go to the seaside and mix with people from all over the country, if it is ok to go shopping and be 2 metres away from others indoors, then I can see no problem sitting in the garden 2 metres away from one another. Probably a lot safer

[PlanetMJ]

I would love to do this. We have been very careful in socially distancing. DH shops once a week at the supermarket taking all precautions and we walk in our local woods but are 100% isolated the rest of the time. Although there is a small risk of us having Covid, it's pretty minimal.

But DP's live a 2.5 hour drive away. Our children are 2 and 5. We always usually sleep there but would have to get there and back the same day. We could take a picnic and a potty for DD5 as the youngest is still in nappies. Where would we go to the loo?
DH is very against it as he doesn't agree with the lifting of lockdown as he thinks it's sending the wrong message so too many people are behaving as usual.
I just want to see my mum and dad before D'S goes back to school as who knows when our risk will be low enough after then.

[RunningNinja79]

We did it yesterday. We haven't seen any parents since March. We went to my parents then to MIL. It has done all of us (me, DH, 2DCs and grandparents) the world of good. Now I feel the next month or so (unless restrictions are eased a bit more before) should be easier to get through again.

Our DCs haven't been anywhere since they were last at school. I'm WFH and have only been to the supermarket and DH has been at home too. My parents go shopping once or twice a week and MIL has been nowhere.

Yes it was just over an hours drive away, but we did say if we had to take public transport or it was too long a drive then we wouldn't have done.

[RunningNinja79]

sorry 3DCs I must have forgotten a child