To ask about new neighbours

[hotstepper4]

I found out yesterday that the house next to me has been let.

I've had a history of bad neighbours including a lady whose dogs barked 16 hours a day and I nearly had a breakdown.

Since lockdown, I like everyone else is spending every day at home and I'm horribly anxious about who might move in.

WIBU to call the letting agent (same as my letting agent) and ask them a bit about the new neighbour? Whether it's a couple/family etc?

Please be kind I appreciate I sound a little batshit but I feel really on edge right now

Do not do that. I understand why you’re anxious and you realise that it’s made you slightly batshit but yeah, don’t do that! Keep an open mind.

I completely get where you're coming from - I'm always concerned about neighbours because you live so close, if they're awful you're going to be affected by it. We had neighbours below us when we lived in a flat years ago and it drove me to insanity with their noise levels, genuinely made me feel very unwell with the stress. It's tricky because as others have said, you can't control who moves in. Take a breath, think rationally - if they move in and they're awful, you can complain to their landlord or the agency. Wait and see who moves in, go and introduce yourself. They could be a lovely family who are conscientious and are concerned about who their neighbours are aswell! Honestly, it's not worth stressing yourself out over, from someone who also has anxiety and has irrational thoughts and fears!

Knowing 'what type' they are won't help. I rented for years and my heart sank when I saw three mid 20's blokes move in to the next door flat. They were the quietest neighbours I've ever had! Not a peep!

The very upper/middle class couple beneath us were hell on earth. If they were in together they were either arguing or shagging loudly. Every night they'd watch action thrillers with the volume up to eleventy million until 1am. Every other weekend they'd invite their horsey friends round and we'd be subjected to braying and whinnying until the early hours.

Wait and see
And when they move in, send them a nice card or something. Start off on the good food. Plus in case that things do go south you can just adress it. At least easier maybe :)
But don't worry to much now. Because there is nothing you can do right now and you can't change what is coming. So just sit back and relax. Deal with it when the time comes. They might be the best neighbours ever

OP, can I recommend an audiobook, it’s called Hope and Help For Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes. It’s old but it’s really good. She talks about the physical symptoms of anxiety and how it can progress in stages. She has a wonderfully reassuring voice (a bit nan-like even). I cannot overstate how helpful this and her book ‘Self-Help For Your Nerves’ have been for my anxiety.

Sorry for your loss

OP, you don't sound the slightest bit batshit.....lovely neighbours are a real blessing.

I've been hugely blessed, but the truth is in an urban setting you never know.

Wishing you the greatest luck with them🤞👍

Recommend making friends with them too. I always found it easier to deal with noise from people I knew rather than a stranger. Also means you can text with 'oi! Keep the noise down Maureen'

niteflights thank you for that I will check it out

Thanks again to everyone else too you've definitely calmed me down and I haven't called the letting agent 😂

I understand how you feel OP. I have worried for years about who will move in next door to me once my elderly neighbour died.

She did in December, I'm currently waiting for the new neighbours to move in, fortunately I know exactly who they are, My Dsis and 2 DNephew's!

It's an utterly bizarre turn of events but one that I am very happy about as we are close and not afraid to speak our minds to each other.

My point being that worrying over something you cannot control is just wasted, negative energy. Always try and stay positive, there is every chance you will get a good un!

Even if they could tell you, you still won't have anyway of knowing if they will be good or bad neighbours so I wouldn't bother. Try and look on the positive side; if you've had a run of bad luck now might be the time for a good neighbour. Hope it works out for you.

The majority of people will be fine. You have had a run of bad luck which will Hopefully end with the new tenant.

I totally understand the anxiety. When my lovely neighbours put their house on the market I was extremely concerned. Assessed ever viewer and made judgements. The couple who moved in appeared absolutely fine. Unfortunately they turned out to enjoy screaming at each other at 3am. You can never tell.

Some of the most awful neighbours I've had have been older, respectable, ordinary people. You can't tell what you might get just by knowing the demographic.

I'd do a small 'welcome to the neighbourhood' pack - make a list of local things that are useful, delivery people, doctors surgery, shop & PO times., FB groups, and leave a card, packet of biscuits teabags etc for when they move in.
At least it'll help get off on right foot with new neighbour

I hope to god its not the psycho who's just moved from the rented house next to me. I've never known anything like her and her feral brat in my life

As everyone has said, sadly the lettings agency won't be able to tell you anything and - even if you knew - there would be no guarantees of what those individuals would be like. I totally understand your desire to know though: good neighbours are worth so much, and help you feel so much more at home in your home. Bad ones can really impact your ability to enjoy your own space and feel settled, however much you should be able to ignore.
I hope you get some good luck and some lovely neighbours soon!

Easier said than done, OP, but try not to build this up into a huge thing in your own mind.
The more focussed you are on something, the more you notice - and none of us are perfect.

Shortly after we moved here into our Victorian terraced house , one peaceful, quiet Sunday I suddenly heard this God awful mega loud screeching noise.
It was our next door neighbour on his electric guitar - which he clearly had no idea how to play.
My heart sank and, in my mind, the vendors had sold to us just to get away from him and his noise.

5 minutes later (maybe even less) the noise stopped and I didn't hear it again for several months.

It did become a regular feature and was quite funny.
We decided that he found the noise of his attempted guitar playing, even less tolerable than we did which is probably why it never went on for very long.

He was an odd body, no doubt.
We discovered that he'd been prosecuted, in the past, for stealing ladies knickers off their washing lines!
Funnily enough, that never bothered me as I suspected my sensible pants would hold no allure for him.

He didn't bother me at all as a neighbour, because, other than the random guitar riffs, I didn't give him head space so was oblivious to what he may be getting up to in his house.

My ramble is to say that, on paper my guitar man neighbour wasn't someone you would choose to live next door to but, in reality, he was fine. He didn't trouble us, nor we him.

Good luck.
I hope you get someone truly lovely moving in next door.

I completely understand your anxiety around the whole situation. However you really can't ring the agent. Firstly I'm pretty sure they can't tell you anything because of GDPR and secondly because, and I say this as kindly as I can, I'm not judging you at all, you will sound a little unhinged to them.

Whether they are a couple or a big family won't really change how much noise they make ultimately. Some people who live alone can be the noisiest because they try to fill the silence and on the flip side some families can be the quietest because the parents are super aware that their kids make noise and thus stay on top of it. There's really no way of knowing.

Just wait until they move in and when they do pop over for a (socially distanced) chat time say hi, welcome them and introduce yourself. Then if there is a problem with noise you've already presented yourself as a nice friendly person and they may take more kindly to a request to be a little quieter.

I feel for you , I’d want to know after having a few bad neighbours and having one now but sadly I don’t think they can tell you

Phoning them won't change the outcome so I wouldn't bother. Maybe the new people are equally nervous about what sort of neighbours they will have. Most people are nice, should be OK :-)

Wingedharpy maybe he had headphones but occasionally they weren't in properly? Your post did make me laugh though!

I'm not sure 'I've had an awful neighbour' stories are particularly helpful!

OP, I've had lots of neighbours and the vast majority have been absolutely fine and some have been lovely.

Try not to worry, plaster on a big smile when they move in, be friendly and I'm sure things will be fine,

I’ve never had a bad neighbour and often lived next to tenants - so hopefully your new one will be great!

I moved home a couple years ago (the week of beast from the east). Having driven a van back and forward across the country for 4 days, I found a bottle of wine and a welcome card on the doorstep from new neighbour. It was great start to living in street.

Thank you !! Really appreciate your comments.

I hope they will be ok. Will definitely introduce myself when they move in.

I'll keep you all updated!

We have a student house next door - the first couple of years was hell on earth and I was a wreck. Flinching at every noise in case it was the start of another party night, no sleep, a level of hatred for them I didn't know I was capable of.

Anyway, since then, they've all been lovely. Quiet, nice, polite kids - they're the dream neighbours. So it may well all be fine - these people could be your new best friends. I hope so.