To cool off this friendship

[aliceinsunderland27]

I think I know the answer to this already but here are some of the issues I've faced with my 'friend' for some time now. We met when our kids were small and there have been times when she has been a great friend to me but there's always this undertone of unpleasantness. She's got some MH issues but I'm wondering whether to distance myself a bit.

Constantly mocks me in quite unpleasant ways. Makes out that I'm not capable of doing certain things and she knows better.
Hugely materialistic and competes over everything. If I get something she will get a bigger and better version of it. And tell me how it's bigger and better.
Becomes pissed off if I don't make effort contacting her but happily leaves my messages on read with no reply.
Slates everything good that happens to me - didn't like my partner, laughs at where I go on holiday, she's even laughed at my wedding dress.
Sucks up to other friends and treats them nicely but usually the ones with nice cars and big houses.
Bitches terribly about basically everyone we know.

I don't want to fall out with her, I can't be arsed with the drama of it for one thing. Do I just slowly distance myself?

[HollowTalk]

The trick with someone like this is that you should dump them when they do something eg criticise your wedding dress, so that when they tell people they will have to explain why they were dumped.

I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Insecurities or not, she's a complete bitch.

[Tiramisuiloveyou]

Just cut her out your life, life is too short. Once when i was very much younger and single i went on nights out with a group of girls and one of them was very much like this. She was very nasty but always tried to made it like a joke and I wondered whether I was being over sensitive but it kept on and on and her digs were always at my expense. I put up with it for a little while as all my other friends were all married or in serious relationships, had children and were rarely going out. Then eventually i thought actually I’d rather not go out than spend time in a group with a person like this who was doing absolutely nothing for my self esteem. I certainly didn’t miss having her in my life and never looked back. I wouldn’t worry about her slagging you off as she is probably doing it anyway and others probably switch off from her anyway.

[ILoveFlumps]

I had a 'friend' like this. We were neighbours. I moved in and we quickly became friends. She was massively insecure mainly about her weight, and as such sought solace in numerous men. I was/am tall & slim, so every opportunity she had to put me down she did. She would try and make me look stupid in front of people (but slyly). It was exhausting. It was hard though as our girls were close friends.
I ended up moving house when I had a baby. It was always me contacting her after I moved and once i realised this i stopped.
I then heard from her a couple of months after, but not to see how we were doing, but to find out 'gossip' on one of my other friends divorce. I refused to give any info so she didn't bother talking to me anymore. It's very refreshing now!
Once they've gone, you'll realise how toxic the friendship really was. TBH, I couldn't give a rats arse if she slags me off. She's a bitter 50 year old woman who's never going to be happy!

[SevenOfNineTails]

Like struggling said above , you had me at “constantly mocks me “
Get rid OP xx

[CorianderLord]

Does she make you feel good about your life or improve it in any way? If not ditch her.

[Wanderlust21]

The competing with everything especially, is a huge red flag that she is a narcissist.

Either way, she is a total bitch.
She isnt your friend.
Get rid!

[MashedSpud]

Ignore her then tell her you’ve taken up yoga, meditation, crochet, knitting, breathing exercises and tantric sex so you’re unavailable.

[Samtsirch]

I wouldn’t put up with this from a sister or close family member , so especially not from a friend .
If her behaviour impacts on you negatively, leave her out of your life, if you find her behaviour amusing or tolerable, then see her as much or as little as suits you.

[Jeschara]

OP, please distance yourself from this person. She never was your friend, you were her whipping boy. She pretended to be your friend because it made her feel better about her miserable self.
Dont cool it, end it, she is very cruel. I wish you well, you deserve so much better.

[AdoptedBumpkin]

She doesn't seem like a great friend anyway.