To tell the school they don't use carseats?

[CapnSquirrel]

My DD started preschool in September. Since starting I've noticed that there are two mums who regularly don't have their children strapped in their car seats. They have the seats in the car and the DC are sometimes strapped but often the child just sits in the seat without the belt or even sits in the front seat unbelted.

These children are only three years old and I wince every time I see it. There are also two other families who I assume don't drive, and oftentimes they and their DC get lifts home with these mums and have their child on their lap in the front or just sitting in the backseat.

I know it's none of my business, I really do and I don't want to begrudge anyone a lift home in the rain but I'm just concerned for the DC. My best friend is an occupational therapist and has told me of some harrowing repercussions due to children not being restrained properly in cars, so it's just something I'm hyper aware of.

WIBU to mention it to the preschool? I'm not sure if it would be in their power to do anything but I was thinking perhaps they might send a generic email out to all parents or something? Or would that be a really busybody thing to do? Any thoughts appreciated!

[CapnSquirrel]

So a bit of a mixed bag then! Thanks all for replying. To those who asked if the child just unstrapped themselves on arrival - I thought that too initially, but have since seen them numerous times both on the road and driving into school and she was definitely not belted.

GinDaddy thanks for your comments but the parking issues you cite don't apply to this school. It's a small school with ample parking and I've never seen anything of concern in that regard.

[Dividingthementalload]

Yes I’d tell the police too. Not the pre schools job,.

[busybarbara]

Morally you can only snitch if you're ok with someone snitching on you?

So are you saying that you would not be ok with someone snitching on you? If so you would be a hypocrite to do the same

[busybarbara]

What if you found out your childminder didn't bother properly restraining your child in the car, would you still brush it off? Or is it only ok for other people's children to be unsafe?

Ok but when your own car is running just under the legally permitted tyre depth because you’ve slipped behind on things and someone at the school gate snitches to the police concerned about your children’s safety.. how you feeling then? Or what about if one of your headlights is out?

[BlackBlueBell]

I’m not sure the school would be able to do anything but I’d definitely make a report to the police, it only takes one careless act for devastation to occur, at least you can say you tried.

[Drabarni]

Why would it have anything to do with a pre school?
it's against the law, and the law is Police, I believe.

[GinDaddy]

@CapnSquirrel

It was an example I cited, rather than a literal inquiry as to whether you have dangerous parking at your school.

But if you want to report this person, how many more replies do you need before you do this dry snitching you're so keen to do?

[saraclara]

This is bizarre. In the thread about grandparents not strapping kids in their seats, everyone's going nuts about how terrible that is and the kids should never be in their care again.

But here, it's snitching to try to protect these children.

I was a teacher, and if we heard about this we'd send out a letter reminding parents of the law and make it clear that we were aware that some parents were risking their children's lives.

In a personal level, if one of those children was killed or injured, I'd find it hard to live with my inaction.

[LangClegsOpinionIsNoted]

Urgh gin, please shut up with your 'dry snitching' nonsense. Grow up.

OP, yes the school will want to know. It's a central tenant of safeguarding that anything should be reported, as the smaller details may well reveal a bigger picture of neglect /abuse /harm etc.

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility. Yes it is awkward and it goes against our instinctive "that's not my business' and 'Im sure it's not as bad as it seems' but that is also one of the things safeguarding training teaches. Our natural response is to minimise because we don't want to have bad things in our little world - those are things that happen to other people. Safeguarding requires you to overrule this instinct.

Ex teacher, had lots of safeguarding training!

[saraclara]

Ok but when your own car is running just under the legally permitted tyre depth... how you feeling then? Or what about if one of your headlights is out?

You're really comparing those things to having a child not belted in?

[GinDaddy]

@LangSpartacusCleg

Yes, yes, all very true.

Where oh where is all this hand-wringing safeguarding stuff at schools up and down the country, where ignorant parents take risks with other children's lives in the name of performance commuting or whatever?

It seems safeguarding is great when we can safely safeguard from behind a school newsletter or general update to people to belt in their kids.

[littlepaddypaws]

snitching ? ffs how old are we ??

[LangClegsOpinionIsNoted]

Gin you're not making any sense. If someone had started a thread about parents mounting the kerb and endangering children walking on the pavement I would also be encouraging the reporting of that behaviour! But that isn't the issue being discussed here so it's not relevant.

[Urkiddingright]

If you’re certain they’re actually driving like this I would inform the police personally. I don’t think the school can actually do anything other than have a word with them but it might not stop them.

[mencken]

there you go, OP - if these kids are killed or end up quadriplegic due to flying into the windscreen, your consolation would be that you didn't snitch.

terrifying not only that these kids have parents who don't give a damn, but the playground mentality of those who think it is ok. And that these people are allowed to vote, drive and breed.

[LastTrainEast]

I think car seats are a good idea. More comfortable for the child too I would think. No one ever seems to mention that.

Still the law is not as clear as some people think. You can ride in a taxi or coach all day without one (presumably they have some magical protection) and last I looked it said you could sit a child in the back adult seat if there wasn't a car seat or there wasn't room for enough car seats.

[Bee2828]

Maybe mention it to the school. Maybe they could send some info out on car seat safety (to all parents). Or maybe the police. I’m not really sure but it needs reporting to someone. Car seat safety is so important!!

[formerbabe]

Personally I think the parents are idiots but I really don't want to live in a country where we are snooping on our neighbours and fellow citizens and reporting them to the state for every misdemeanor we see.

[memberofseven]

I have reported to the police when I have seen this , (bizarrely more than once with clapped out old cars on motorway with children clamouring around and poking their heads out the window). They took very seriously. You will have a local pcso - if you report this in my area they would just happen to be around for drop off. It is very dangerous for preschoolers not to be restrained, I wouldn't hesitate to report notwithstanding the fact I spent much of my primary childhood either sitting in the boot or the footwell.

[Honkingallthewaytothebank]

It isn’t the school’s job. You know you need to take action and passing that onto the school is the most palatable and least cringey way to do it. It’s also the least useful. The police are more likely to be the right people to contact - unsafe driving, driving without a seat belt etc.

Either contact the police, or speak to the person directly, but don’t contact the school and feel you’ve ‘done your bit’ because all you’ll have done is passed on the problem to someone else to deal with.

[LangClegsOpinionIsNoted]

It is the school's job because it's a safeguarding concern and school staff are a frontline profession. They can coordinate with other agencies, ie. Police or Social Services, if they deem it necessary.

[Drabarni]

I thought the kids were the responsibility of parents until they were on the premises, especially as a nursery. I don't think schools are even responsible for kids outside, are they?

[BikeRunSki]

I have reported a driver to the police, who had 3 unsecured children in his car, including a baby of about a year. The police rang me later that day to tell me they had been round for a “chat” with the driver.

[LangClegsOpinionIsNoted]

Drabarni the school is a "frontline" position. They are responsible for safeguarding their pupils. That responsibility doesn't end at 3pm. If the OP is aware of the children being placed in danger by their parents, the school can be notified as they can then act on this info (reminders of car seat laws to parents), pass the info along to SS or police, and record it on the children's file as it may build a picture of a family in need of support.