to wonder why so many people have anxiety nowadays ?

[littlepaddypaws]

it seems a lot of posters suffer from it and i wonder why that is, having mn problems myself i can relate to how difficult it is and life can be limited for those with anxiety it in the worse scenario can keep you housebound.
it's good the mh is dicussed more openly but i'm curious, is modern life stress more people out ? don't recall so much on here a year or so ago.

[JanuaryIsNotTheOnlyMonth]

don't recall so much on here a year or so ago.

Aged about 14-17, if I was alone in the house, I would quite literally hide behind sofas if anyone came to the door - neighbours, posties, whoever. I couldn't have posted on the internet about it, though, as it wasn't around at the time.

I had spells of doing much the same at college (checking the corridor was absolutely empty before I came out of my room, which is not a great way to make friends and social contacts).

I had no idea it might be a condition or have a name, just thought of myself as a massive chump.

I did it again for a while after the birth of my first child, but which point I was starting to realise that this wasn't a normal or acceptable way of life.

I think 'anxiety' has always been around.

[Kazzyhoward]

Aged about 14-17, if I was alone in the house, I would quite literally hide behind sofas if anyone came to the door - neighbours, posties, whoever. I couldn't have posted on the internet about it, though, as it wasn't around at the time.

Yes, I've been known to hide under my office desk when someone rang the office doorbell. Completely unreasonable and unfathomable. And I'm not a teenager, I'm in my 50s. It's one of the reasons why I have moved my business towards being internet only rather than face to face. I can cope fine with people/meetings etc if they're arranged in advance so I can prepare myself, but anything unexpected and I fall apart.

[PlomBear]

I was incredibly anxious as a child and nobody ever tried to help. Just lots of eye rolling and “pull yourself together.”

[Cohle]

I think it's much better diagnosed and understood. In the past people would just be considered very shy/a hypochondriac/a worrier/nervous etc etc.

[Dontdisturbmenow]

My counsellor tells me that anxiety is usually a case of overestimating risks and underestimating one's ability to cope
This is so true. I thing the overestimating has a lot to do with the media, with sensationalism being bombarded to us constantly.

I think the latter is because we are more and more protecting ourselves and loved ones from facing frightening events, so we don't get enough opportunities to realise that we are much more capable to cope than we believe.

[Loki2020]

that anxiety is usually a case of overestimating risks and underestimating one's ability to cope.

I was brought up like that - parents constantly in that state themslves and teaching it to us or as DH put it every silver lining has a cloud.

They're still like it - but I'm usually not now.

Though worst I've ever been was after we'd moved -away from a situation with many external stresses and extremly stressful move all of which did have an impact on us - and life got very calm I got talked onto taking the pill - and suddenly it was a massive deal to be able to get out the front door and I was having phyical problem - being sick, shaking at the very thought though I managed it. It was a huge shift in my mindset and only difference was the pill.

I did for a while wonder how much of the worried state I existed in in my 20's was down to being on the pill and how much down to the mindset I'd been brought up with. Now I just try and raise our children with some self belief which does involve letting them do things for themsleves and sometime fail and get back up.

[BabbleBee]

My grandad survived the Burma railway, he never had any health issues afterwards. However, when family describe his life I’m sure he had PTSD and many other issues caused by war, but it was never talked about let alone diagnosed. I saw the letter he had from the King afterwards and they were instructed never to speak of the atrocities they saw.

I have anxiety, diagnosed. It came about as a reaction to my daughter’s cancer diagnosis. It’s a very different feeling to being anxious over something like a job interview, I still get normal levels of nervous but I also have a pathological anxiety that impacts my life, I wouldn’t be surprised if I have some kind of post traumatic difficulties too.

I guess now we’re aware of it and talk more openly. It does grate when people say they’re a little bit OCD, or depressed when they’re just sad. You wouldn’t say you’re hungry and feel like you’re blood sugars are low so you’re a bit diabetic, would you?! It seems to only apply to mental health conditions.

[mossiemagnet]

Mine was what I would call ‘background noise’ from a very young age due to an unstable childhood, I managed it well into my twenties and thirties (or so I thought) through vigilance and pre planning and lists etc for everything, was on a nice plateau -in that I was only ‘triggered’ if relatives were running late to a gathering etc (you know when your mind goes to unreasonable thoughts of the worse case scenario) then a few years ago my resilience just evaporated after a significant work event- and since then I’ve had to be on medication which I find annoying as a label as I thought I had been managing anxiety so well (to the point I thought it normal and surely everyone thought the things I did) but I am definitely now less likely to jump to worst thoughts and running useless scripts in the wee hours as a result of sertraline, I think it’s like a perfect storm- we are sold an expectation of living and shit can blindside us

[willothewispa]

i do wonder sometimes if it's an excuse not to do something or attention seeking,

It's people thinking that that makes it so much worse for people with anxiety to be open.

[HouseworkAvoider10]

Pressure at work is one reason.
Most people have to do more with less and for less pay at work, these days.

[Thefaceofboe]

There is also a huge difference between anxiety and being anxious. I’m anxious a lot other work etc but I’m haven’t got anxiety.

[hiddenmnetter]

Local communities by and large no longer existing as they used to- by which I mean people used to grow up, get married and raise families within a mile or two of their parents, which would also include their siblings. Modern life (the last 30-40 years really) have transformed how basic communities work and the upheaval is still such that I think things haven't resettled. Having people who know you, intimately, from a young age, means things like social media are less important- why show off for John down the street who used to piss the bed when he stayed over at 4? Or for Jane who lives round the block who cried all day on the first day of school? There's less mystery and so you know more about where you stand with people when you actually know them (not just happen to be aquaintainces you meet at the local NCT). Aside from this there is the advantages of life long relationships that provide networks of love and support. Your mum is round the corner, your FIL pops round to sort out the leaking tap while you're at work, your friend offers to have the kids on Mondays and you do Thursdays (and you trust her with your kids cause you grew up together and know who she is) for her, etc etc.

Add to this the other material stresses of life like overpriced housing and unstable employment and it's a recipe for stress and anxiety isn't it? Cut out all the traditional methods of supporting people then make it impossible for them to survive on their own and yeah, I imagine they have anxiety, not because they're unwell but because their life is stressful.

[Kazzyhoward]

Pressure at work is one reason. Most people have to do more with less and for less pay at work, these days.

In some workplaces, yes, but there were many high pressure work places in the past too.

I started work in the early 80s - we had to keep daily timesheets to show what we were doing and which clients we were working on, allocated against very tight time budgets on a client by client basis. You couldn't put extra time down to a job as excess would be flagged up. Likewise, we had to account for all our time, in units of just 5 minutes (12 time units per hour) and we had budgets as to how much of our time had to be chargeable/productive, so we couldn't just not put down time allocated to jobs either. The basic "allowance" for toilet and tea breaks was one unit per morning and one unit per afternoon, so just 2 five minute breaks per day. It was very stressful as you ended up constantly having to justify yourself if you couldn't allocate all your units each day or if you spent too much time on a job. Staff would regularly start earlier/finish later just to get work done "off timesheet" to get jobs finished within budget.

I've no doubt there were plenty of workplaces where you could swing the lead, hide to avoid working too hard, fiddle your hours/job sheets or whatever. But there will still be some places like that even today. Probably just a lot fewer.

[Kazzyhoward]

Local communities by and large no longer existing as they used to- by which I mean people used to grow up, get married and raise families within a mile or two of their parents, which would also include their siblings.

Very true and probably one of the main detriments of the drive to get more and more people to universities. Students move away, often hundreds of miles, and simply never come back as many workplaces are now centralised in the few big cities and small local communities often don't have any good employment opportunities. There won't be many people who spend 3 years studying away from home and then return back to their home town with a degree only to work in low skilled, low pay jobs, as the big firms have closed their local/regional offices and now only have their head office in London!

[StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight]

I had some CBT for GAD a few years back and my therapist said that one of the reasons for the increase in anxiety in people is because the world is moving on quickly (technology etc) but human evolution can't keep up.

[SunshineAngel]

I think there a few reasons, really.

• People are learning that it's okay to not be okay, that they can get help from their GP, and therefore more people do so than before.
  

• Social media gives people the platform to be open about it. People who had anxiety 20 years ago wouldn't have been able to shout about it in the same way as people can now, even if they would have felt comfortable doing so.
  

• To some extent, I think mental illness has almost become fashionable. Don't get me wrong, there are many, many, many people who genuinely struggle, but at the same time there are people who label stress as a mental illness, or claim to be depressed when actually they're just sad .. this can skew perceptions on how common it is, too. Unless someone has a medical diagnosis, I take what they say with a pinch of salt.

[MissSmith1]

Compared to 50 years ago we have no quiet time. Walking to work/shop, sitting on the bus, not much tv, phone calls minimal etc Today we are constantly hearing, seeing , and so much of it distressing - poor brains.

[GrolliffetheDragon]

I've been anxious since I was a child, didn't decide to get help for it until after I had DS. And I do mean anxiety - rituals to cope, panic attacks, physical symptoms, obsessing about worries, worrying disproportionately about minor things, problems sleeping, unable to focus on what I'm supposed to be doing, and so on.

It runs in my family, you can see it in my DM and DGM, in my uncle and two of my aunts. Add in sexual abuse and bullying in school and there you go. Anxiety, depression, borderline eating disorder as a teenager, then I turned into an anxious adult, who is trying very hard to not show anxiety to her DS, who unfortunately is showing signs that he takes after me rather than DH in this area.

[Kazzyhoward]

I've been anxious since I was a child

Yep, same here. I was fine until I started secondary school at a crap state comp. Bullied relentlessly from day 1. Went from a straight A* student at primary to leaving without a single O level. It wasn't just names and general bitchiness. It was theft and damage to my property, physical assaults (kicks, punches and fag burns), etc. I'd literally hide in dark corners at breaks and lunchtime to hide from them. I'd spend all lesson worrying about where to hide and how to avoid them at the next break. Teachers were sodding useless - always the same "advice" telling me to toughen up and stand up to them - anything for them to keep their easy life and victim-blame!

I've been anxious dealing with people ever since and always fear/prepare for the worse. I even get palpatations when walking down the street seeing someone coming the other way and often cross the road to keep plenty of distance. It's not healthy at all and means you can't lead a normal life.

[GrolliffetheDragon]

I'd literally hide in dark corners at breaks and lunchtime to hide from them. I'd spend all lesson worrying about where to hide and how to avoid them at the next break.



Me too. Used to sneak back in doors and hang about in the corridors until the caretaker caught me and started leaving a classroom unlocked for me so I wouldn't get in trouble. I don't know if he knew what was going on or if he just saw how miserable I was and took pity. It was all locked up lunchtimes because one of the bullies had been vandalizing classrooms during the break.

The bullying involved things that could have seriously injured me, potentially fatally. It was more luck than judgement that I wasn't badly hurt. On the other side the main bully was also very self-destructive and did things that would be recognised as self-harm now so as an adult I can see that he was clearly very troubled.

Thirty years later I'm still not keen on groups of teenage boys.

[Footiefan2019]

Yes @hiddenmnetter what you say about community is interesting ... on mumsnet the Mum round the corner is seen as suffocating if she wants to see you more than once a fortnight, and any child rearing advice is seen as criticism, making poster ‘anxious’, FIL popping in is intrusive and makes you feel ‘scared in your own home’ that he’s been round and let himself in when you were out (to fix a tap, but the way Some people go on they think he’s been sniffing their underwear...), and the friend who offers to have your kids on a Monday can’t be trusted because she wont feed said kid the organic sugar free diet you want to give them and you once saw her give her 18 month old some Haribo and therefore she can’t be trusted. Honestly a bit hyperbolic but it’s what you see on here all the time. It’s like a sort of paranoia combined with a competitive ‘my life is more stressful than yours’ thing.

[user1497207191]

Me too. Used to sneak back in doors and hang about in the corridors until the caretaker caught me and started leaving a classroom unlocked for me so I wouldn't get in trouble. I don't know if he knew what was going on or if he just saw how miserable I was and took pity.

I didn't think it was so common. I used to hide too. In my case, it was under the stage in the main hall. There was a small 2 foot high door that you crawled through and went down a few stairs into the foundations. It was where they kept stage lighting, props, costumes etc. I'd have my packed lunch in there. I always hated it during weeks of exams or plays etc as I couldn't hide under there when the hall was in use and had to find other places to hide. As I got older, I just played truant instead - far simpler, but buggered up my education.

[GrolliffetheDragon]

I'd have my packed lunch in there.

Snap.

While everyone else headed to the hall for lunch, I'd sneak into the toilets in the other block before the doors get locked and then hide under the stairs. Until the caretaker caught me. Have lunch in safety, then it was just a case of sneaking out and back to the main building for registration.

I imagine there's quite a lot of us with similar experiences. So much for your school days being the best days of your life!

[GrolliffetheDragon]

Have to add how much I despised games and PE and the teachers who turned a blind eye to the bullying, even when I was being openly hit with a rounders bat or a hockey stick.

Bastards.

[Alwayscheerful]

I can remember my Mum and Grandma saying they were suffering with their "nerves" during the 60s and 70s. Is anxiety the same thing?