to wonder why so many people have anxiety nowadays ?

[littlepaddypaws]

it seems a lot of posters suffer from it and i wonder why that is, having mn problems myself i can relate to how difficult it is and life can be limited for those with anxiety it in the worse scenario can keep you housebound.
it's good the mh is dicussed more openly but i'm curious, is modern life stress more people out ? don't recall so much on here a year or so ago.

There's a big difference between the two
I don't think there is. It's just a matter of scale, in terms of intensity and timescales.

Some believe that we are more often exposed to more intense stimuli that naturally triggers anxiety and last longer.

Others believe that the intensity is a perceived one, and the longer time is because we don't face it heads on at first opportunity.

I think the reality sits somewhere in between. Take exams for instance. Much more reported clinical anxiety due to exams.

Some of it will be pressure from teachers and parents to achieve high, probably more than before.

But it will also be a result of some pupils not being as organised, prepared as 5hey should be.

It will also be that they feel no different to our parents felt, but our parents accepted it was part of normal life and didn't question it much, whereas nowadays, kids as young as 6 will know what anxiety is and perceive it as something very bad, hence feeling scared and out of control the moment 5hey feel it, and it is often the anxiety triggered by what is really normal and healthy anxiety that will evolve in uncontrollable and clinical anxiety.

We should help our kids face anxiety and accept it's normality rather than something to avoid, fight and dwell on.

Do people really think there are more damaged people walking around now than there were after WW1 and WW2. There aren’t. My grandad left his mental health behind in Europe and Asia and struggled on for 40 years after. People didn’t have a choice to get help or medication so they just got on with it, went into an asylum or killed themselves. It’s not a new thing.

A lot of people out there are rude or unkind. Increasingly, I have noticed that random strangers are aggressive. Walking along minding my own business, people shout things out of car windows etc. Being told to “fuck off” by random people for no reason whatsoever. No wonder I prefer to stay at home.

The main difference is that we used to see it as something we, as individuals, needed to sort out.

We, nowadays, see it as something that others should sort out for us.

This is why CBT has mixed success because it will only work if the person is prepared to accept that only they can help themselves, professionals can only point them towards the work they need to do to help themselves gradually.

However, when we are in pain, we long for others to make it better for us. It's natural instinct, but it just doesn't work for anxiety. Medicine definitely helps, and that's great, but the rest is in our hands to either sort out or accept.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety but most people don't know it as I find it is still misunderstood. Even my parents don't really understand that it affects everything I do.

For me the big difference between now and say 80 years ago is the breakdown of society. Talking to my grandmother I realised how much she trusted and relied on people around her. She would leave her baby with strangers while going to the bathroom for example. We are now so wary of everyone that it is not surprising we feel anxious interacting.

So many people say “I have anxiety” . Honestly I don’t believe it. There is a huge difference between feeling anxious and “having anxiety”. When people tell me they “have anxiety” I ask them are they on medication and most of them say “oh , no! Nothing like that!!”. Okay cool, so you don’t have anxiety then . It really pisses me off. Probably because I have had genuine anxiety and panic attacks too.

I don't think there is. It's just a matter of scale, in terms of intensity and timescales.

I can tell you - from personal experience - that that isn’t the case. Clinical anxiety, as opposed to anxiety as an emotion in its normal setting, is when the thought processes that create anxiety run out of control. When I was ill, I knew that I was behaving and thinking in ways that were absolutely irrational and mad, but I couldn’t override it.

Properly diagnosed clinical anxiety (as opposed to the “I’m anxious therefore I must have anxiety” brigade) is NOT part of normal life, in fact it stops you having a normal life, no matter how much you want it. Attitudes that suggest it’s normal, should just be accepted and shouldn’t be dwelt on smack of the “Pull yourself together” school of thought, which is not only harmful to those who are genuinely suffering (akin to telling someone who is clinically depressed to “Cheer up”) but perniciously dismissive.

More holistic approach is needed. I met people with MH issues who had counseling but no blood tests or any proper physical check. One girl was obviously underweight and said she only eats 3 things. Fries, chicken nuggets and occasionally a brownie. That's it. No one will ever change my mind about this making her MH even worse.
I ended up with massive bout of depression because of lack of vit d
I don't have anxiety, but I get horribly anxious when my vit D drops. About anything and everything.

Plombear - its vicious circle- you are only noticing the bad stuff. There are plenty of kind lovely strangers out there. Be the change you want to see.

Vulpine - I think I’m just sick of people being mean to me. I’m sick of going out of my way to be nice to people and the courtesy is never returned.

Look at some of the viscous posts on here. It just makes me think that most people are dickheads.

Add a dose of anxiety into the mix and that makes me just want to stay at home and avoid people for ever.

Nowadays, even well-paid twenty or thirty somethings (or older) can't ever hope to do that

Depends on the area. If you're in London/SE, then probably not, but there are plenty of towns/cities in the regions where house prices are still affordable for people with average jobs.

I’m so anxious at the moment that I can’t leave the house.

I can be like that, but according to some posters here, I don't have anxiety because I've not been to the GP to get it formally diagnosed!

I think it's because people today are weak.

I think it's because people today are weak
I think you probably shouldn’t trouble yourself with more thinking.

Care to expand on that!

Terrible anxiety makes you feel terrified every second of every day. I don’t think people who endure and overcome that should ever be described as weak. I think living with anxiety requires strength just to keep going. If you have not experienced it then you are very lucky.

My family has a history of terrible anxiety. Being from a background that has had 'wars of terror' waged against us and then seeing it being unleashed on others is quite unnerving. As well as a fair amount of confusion and despair over the agendas at play....

The world has always been like this though...

It's a combination of things. Partly due to openness about mental health but lots of other factors. Certainly with teens it almost seems trendy to say you have anxiety but to be honest teens have always been a bit anxious as it's a difficult stage! DDs friends all seem to "have anxiety". Life is pretty stressful nowadays and the internet/social media makes things more difficult in many ways and there is too much information (ignorance is bliss sometimes!).

I personally did suffer from an anxiety disorder for about 15 years. It definitely was a disorder for me as it affected my life so badly. Looking back I was probably a bit depressed too. I got past it without medication by changing several parts of my life and it was clear that some of those were causing the anxiety feelings then my mind got stuck in a cycle of worry.

It's a horrible horrible thing to suffer from and I feel for anyone who does but to call normal levels of anxiety a disorder is as bad as saying you have OCD because you like things tidy.

OCD is much more about repetitive, intrusive thoughts and an over-inflated sense of responsibility than keeping things tidy. I think the fastidiously tidy element is the most commonly known and the most visual so people latch onto that. Agree though that saying “I am a bit OCD” because you have tidy cupboards is very reductive to people really suffering.

It's a horrible horrible thing to suffer from and I feel for anyone who does but to call normal levels of anxiety a disorder is as bad as saying you have OCD because you like things tidy.

But who defines what is a "normal" level of anxiety. At one extreme, it's pretty easy to say someone a bit stressed or worried about a driving test is "normal", and on the other, someone who never leaves the house due to anxiety is clearly extreme. But what about the huge middle ground - where's the dividing line? Is it being "anxious" about occasional events such as tests, exams, etc., or is it being "anxious" about virtually every aspect of life including being scared of answering the phone or going to a party?

Clinical anxiety, as opposed to anxiety as an emotion in its normal setting, is when the thought processes that create anxiety run out of control. When I was ill, I knew that I was behaving and thinking in ways that were absolutely irrational and mad, but I couldn’t override it.

Absolutely this. My anxiety centred mainly around my health and I would obsess for months (or sometimes years) over a particular disease I was certain I had. At one point I was convinced I had MND and spent hours and hours studying my hands for unusual dents and difference in size (getting myself more and more worked up) and reading articles on the internet looking for clues that I might have it. Sounds insane but that was my normal. That horrible stomach drop feeling you get when you feel extremely worried happened over and over. The constant feeling of being jittery and on edge was awful. It's hard to understand unless you have experienced it.

But who defines what is a "normal" level of anxiety. At one extreme, it's pretty easy to say someone a bit stressed or worried about a driving test is "normal", and on the other, someone who never leaves the house due to anxiety is clearly extreme. But what about the huge middle ground - where's the dividing line? Is it being "anxious" about occasional events such as tests, exams, etc., or is it being "anxious" about virtually every aspect of life including being scared of answering the phone or going to a party?

When it takes over pretty much every waking thought and becomes irrational I guess. See my post above.

OCD is much more about repetitive, intrusive thoughts and an over-inflated sense of responsibility than keeping things tidy. I think the fastidiously tidy element is the most commonly known and the most visual so people latch onto that. Agree though that saying “I am a bit OCD” because you have tidy cupboards is very reductive to people really suffering.

Yes I'm very aware - my brother has OCD and he is the messiest person I've ever met

I think we have an unrealistic expectation of how we are meant to be.

We tend to think the healthiest state for us is one in which we have everything we need and no worries. But the closer we get to that ideal (objectively we have never had it as good as we do today) the further away from contentment we get.

Sooner or later we're going to have to face the fact that modern life is not making us happy. That it's not emotionally healthy for us to do so much navel gazing, to have robotoic vacuums (sob!) or to spend so long admiring people who's lives are pictured in various shades of white in instagram.

My counsellor tells me that anxiety is usually a case of overestimating risks and underestimating one's ability to cope. It's overwhelm, perceived helplessness, lack of control, lack of learned resilience, lack of trust and hope, learned behaviours from childhood, learned responses to crises, problems and people. We're told life should be perfect but it isn't and we haven't always learned how to deal with that and/or our own emotions in a healthy way.

I've been formally diagnosed, I'm not on medication and I don't claim benefits, for certain posters above.

Anxiety is real, it's a vicious cycle and, while there are certainly differences in how it affects people and to what extremes, it can definitely be debilitating and life-sucking. Yes, online forums everywhere are places where the introverted and less people-oriented converge, so MN is a bit self-selecting in that respect. Yes, people can over/misdiagnose themselves, like the OCD example above. Anxiety as a medical condition is not the same as feeling worried about a specific thing or event.

Anxiety will creep into every corner of your life and take over, possibly without you noticing. It just becomes your normal, especially when you have little to no frame of reference because you've withdrawn from wider life. It's a long, hard fight to recognise it in the first place and then go about trying to heal from it. There are few resources available and I've been incredibly lucky to find an amazing counsellor to help me through it.

So when someone says 'it's making my anxiety worse' or whatever, it's easy to think they're making excuses. Of course it is. But why wouldn't they be telling the truth? Admitting the problem is half the battle, after all. And you're seeing less than half the picture on an online forum where you're making snap judgements about people's lives from a snapshot of their issues.

What's the worst that can happen by believing someone?