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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is work colleague/friend loop the bloody loop

45 replies

Loopdaloops · 27/12/2019 18:56

I’m single. For two years.

She’s in a (bad) relationship and 3 months pregnant.

She fancies a colleague at work. Nobody else knows except me. She’s fancied him for a while. But again, she is IN a relationship and pregnant.

The man she fancies has asked me out and I accepted. I told her straight away thinking she’d be a bit “oh you lucky cow” about the whole thing.

Nope. She’s bloody furious. Now only talking to me in clipped tones. We were relatively good friends at work.

To me this just seems nuts. Have I broken some sister code here?! Or is she loopy (hormones fair enough)!

OP posts:
BeeFarseer · 27/12/2019 18:59

She's loopy. She's acting in the same way my kids do, when they get into fights. 'I like this so YOU can't'. Etc.

Talulahbeige · 27/12/2019 19:01

Reminds me of the time i fancied the same guy as a sort of friend at school, we were all single. Now bear in mind we were all 14! She never spoke to me again and even insulted me 20+ years later on facebook

redcarbluecar · 27/12/2019 19:03

You haven’t broken any code. Go for it.

CareBear50 · 27/12/2019 19:03

She needs to take herself outside and have a word with herself. Stupid woman!

Bobbiepin · 27/12/2019 19:04

It would have been polite to talk to her once you'd accepted but nah you're fine.

YABU for using "loop the bloody loop" though.

MrsMozartMkII · 27/12/2019 19:04

You're NU just for using the phrase "loop the bloody loop" as makes me think of Shirley Valentine and that makes me laugh Xmas Grin

You're also NU anyway. Your friend needs to sit down with herself and figure out her life.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 27/12/2019 19:04

She's been open to you about fancying him, but you've not said you were interested in him yourself?

I suspect she might feel aggrieved at your deceit, and perhaps vulnerable that you know she fancies him, you might talk to him about it & laugh at her. And you've taken away her fantasy.

Cut her some slack, she's in a bad place.

mintyroller · 27/12/2019 19:07

You're NU just for using the phrase "loop the bloody loop" as makes me think of Shirley Valentine and that makes me laugh

Exactly what I thought of! I can hear her say it.

dontgobaconmyheart · 27/12/2019 19:09

YANBU OP of course, but I don't get why you didn't see this coming. Regardless of the bathshit situation (on her part) you know she fancies him so she was never going to be pleased about a mate dating him was she! Tbh she sounds like her life isn't going very well, which is sad.

Somanysocks · 27/12/2019 19:10

Chips n egg

mintyroller · 27/12/2019 19:15

Somanysocks GrinGrin

MrsMozartMkII · 27/12/2019 19:15

Somanysocks Xmas Grin

MrsMozartMkII · 27/12/2019 19:16

mintyroller Indeed! Xmas Grin

1Morewineplease · 27/12/2019 19:18

Accept the date and leave your colleague to deal with her own life with her baby and broken relationship.
It’s not your fault that he has asked you out. He knows she’s already spoken for.
It’s just sour grapes. Leave her be.

cstaff · 27/12/2019 19:19

I presume you ladies are not fucking teenagers. You even had the decency to tell her. What was she hoping would happen in real life?

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 19:30

She’s just sad.

HollowTalk · 27/12/2019 19:30

She thinks that she has bagged him by being the first one to say she fancies him, even though she's pregnant and in a relationship? Completely nuts.

Cherrysoup · 27/12/2019 19:33

Sister code! Don’t go out with someone the other fancies? Tough shit on her, she’s in a bloody relationship and pregnant! Plus, presumably the bloke likes you, given he’s asked you out. Bonkers.

Beautiful3 · 27/12/2019 19:33

Enjoy your date. She is unavailable, pregnant and behaving unreasonably!

CoraPirbright · 27/12/2019 19:33

Bonkers! If you were both single then she might have the right to privately be a bit put out but this is nuts!! Dont think there’s much you can do as she is completely unreasonable.

CoffeeCoinneseur · 27/12/2019 19:34

She's in a relationship, pregnant, and is indeed loop the bloody loop.

Enjoy your date!

GreyGardens88 · 27/12/2019 19:36

FFS some people literally never grow up, tell her she's not in the school playground anymore

HavelockVetinari · 27/12/2019 19:38

Assuming you're all over the age of 16, YANBU, she sounds bonkers.

Original poster
Loopdaloops · 27/12/2019 19:42

I was channeling Shirley Grin

She hasn’t said she is annoyed but is doing that thing that people do when they’re clearly pissed off but won’t just say why.

OP posts:
Savingforarainyday · 27/12/2019 19:42

How much do you like him?
Bearing in mind, he's a colleague so either
a) you like him enough to deal with weird uncomfortableness if things go badly
b) ( sorry, but, some people are like this) From her point of view, she is trapped in a bad relationship with a baby on the way. She has some mental relief by fancying a co-worker, and the one person she trusts with this information is going out with him now.

Do you really like him? Did you tell her that when she said she fancies him?

It's kind of like, if she said she was really really fancying a rum and coke. You don't really like it, but the next time you guys go out for lunch you have one right in front of her.