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AIBU?

To not have to take and pick them up from school today?

65 replies

Greggers2017 · 17/12/2019 09:29

I have 2 children in year 7 at secondary school dd12 and dsd11. I am currently on maternity leave so I have been taking them to school and picking them up since they started in September. I have also been taking two of their friends who live on the same estate as us.
Yesterday and today my two have been off school poorly with the flu type bug and sickness. Yesterday as it was short notice I still took the two friends.
Yesterday evening DD messaged her friends saying they would both be off school again today.
At 8:25 today one of the friends mums messaged me through Facebook asking where I was. I said I wasn't taking them today as my two were off I'll and dd had informed her dd last night. She sent a snotty message saying that her dd would be late now.
I'm now quite annoyed but also feel bad. The school is a 2.5 mile walk away. There is a bus too the school that children can pay for. And friend also has a bike so could have cycled. Added to that friends Mum drives but says she doesn't like getting her baby up to take them. I have a baby too so see that as irrelevant.
Should I have still taken them?

OP posts:

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Floralnomad · 17/12/2019 11:58

Your mistake was taking them yesterday anyhow she’s a cheeky mare and after Christmas I’d be not taking them .

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recklessruby · 17/12/2019 12:00

Stop the lifts and enjoy the new school term unburdened. It s a favour, not your job to get her dc to school. What if one of yours was super ill and couldn't be left?
Every parent who has more than one child had to go out with a baby to get elder dc places. What makes her so special?

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CakeandCustard28 · 17/12/2019 12:02

YABNU. I wouldn’t take her kids to school again after that. What an Ungrateful bitch. Not your circus, not your monkeys after all.

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Cookit · 17/12/2019 12:05

She thought you would be up anyway as she saw your DS... so wait, she herself wasn’t even up?

Stop all lifts in the future!

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arethereanyleftatall · 17/12/2019 12:11

Lucky you op. You've been presented with a golden opportunity to get rid of this absolutely cheeky fucker. Ridiculous. Of course Yanbu.

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NoSquirrels · 17/12/2019 12:13

Don't worry about it.

If the kids are pleasant enough, and it suits you to take them usually, then carry on. BUT...

you MUST tell the CF mother in no uncertain terms that as you are doing a favour, and as you had made sure her DD knew there was no lift, she is being really unreasonable. And that you don't appreciate that.

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MumW · 17/12/2019 12:14

CF indeed. I wouldn't be taking them again. Why should you drag your baby out so that she doesn't have to wake hers?
If she mentions it again how about saying "As I'm on maternity leave, we're both in the same boat so doing alternate weeks seems fair and works for me."

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oncemorewithfeeling99 · 17/12/2019 12:16

She sounds very rude. Even if someone had not even attempted to get the message to me at all, I would write it off as having poorly kids in the house & it slipped their mind and certainly wouldn’t expect someone else to give my child a lift in those circumstances.

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LOALM · 17/12/2019 12:36

You definitely shouldn't have still taken them if you weren't making the journey for your DC, but I guess perhaps you could have messaged the mother yourself last night, rather than assuming that your DD's friend would have told her mother. She might have genuinely not known which is why she was being snotty about it this morning?

(to be clear - if DD's friend DID tell her mother then she is absolutely a massive CF, but I suspect that's not the case)

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Durgasarrow · 17/12/2019 12:40

My stars. In future she can drive half the time if she wants a lift.

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iamNOTmagic · 17/12/2019 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greggers2017 · 17/12/2019 12:46

Friends Mum didn't call me she messaged me on Facebook messanger. We aren't friends and I've rarely spoken to her. The kids ate at an age now where they arrange things themselves.
She knew both dds were off yesterday and would be off the next day. I was there when dd told her mate on FaceTime.
My girls are independent and can use the bus. I just like taking them as I've not really done school runs since they were little due to working. Plus it's £1.25 each way on the bus so me taking them saves money.
They will be cycling when the weather gets better. As they were bought bikes for that reason.

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antisupermum · 17/12/2019 13:56

You are obviously NBU for not taking them, and the friends mum is obviously a CF. The questions is; what are you going to do going forward?
To continue taking her daughter gives the impression that you are a pushover and that her speaking to you that way is acceptable. Even if you need to stop the lifts for a week or two to make a point, and then resume (because its not the friends fault), but I think to change nothing is a bad idea.

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Greggers2017 · 17/12/2019 14:04

I told the Mum that I will not be taking her daughter when mine are both off school. I made it quite clear she would have to make other arrangements.

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froggybiby · 17/12/2019 21:27

Even as someone who finds it difficult to day no, I wouldn't have taken them yesterday. If I were you i would have got your DD to call her friend & ask you to speak to her mum.
Don't be a pushover. I would send what willow said. She is a very selfish CF.