To be raging mad over this

[Cantsayno]

Posted about this before and my inability to say no to peoples petty requests that they are more than capable of doing themselves, but don’t because it’s easier for them If I do it. And it is an inconvenience to me. I’m 39+1.

So family member takes the piss with requests, going to the shop, lifts here there and everywhere, only recently discovered I was collecting their child from nursery (under the assumption family member was at college) but actually was sat at home and didn’t want to make the journey down to nursery and back and as I drive it was way more convenient for me to hop in the car with my back and be lifting kids in and out of my car.

Anyway, family member has rang me twice today for favours. 1. Babysitting for an hour 2. Go to the shop. Ignored them.

Now put the guilt trip on me asking me to take child to nursery at 8am as family member is unwell. I don’t want to do it. I take my parter to work at 5.30am as he doesn’t drive and he is working over time for our family for Christmas so I will help out where I’m able to.

I find it so god damn cheeky to be hassled day in day out for tasks that they can do themselves and if I wasn’t on maternity leave, would their world fall apart? It seems so!

Aibu to say no? Or turn my phone off and pretend I’ve slept in so oops can’t take them?

Aibu to send a message saying: you’re going to have to stop asking me for all these favours because it’s getting too much, if you’ve forgotten I’m a week away from giving birth and I don’t need to be hounded by you with requests for a lift to location A,b and c and to collect little Jonny from nursery and call into the shop for some milk on my way back home.

Does it come across too arsy? Coz I’m seriously annoyed with it all. Family member actually said to me today ‘well you need to start building up some favours coz I’ll have your child for you if you need me to’ !!!!!! Pardon?! Is this in addition to all the other bastard favours I do for you and the promises of petrol money that never materialise?

[NoSquirrels]

They nursery is a bus journey down and then back up so can see why it’s easier for me to hop in my car.

This makes no sense at all as an argument. You know it.

There are literally thousands of things that are more convenient if someone else does them. It doesn't need to be you! That's not how responsibility and adulthood works.

[ClapHandsAndSaveTheFairies]

This is the last thing? WTF

[Janus]

Don’t do it. Tell her you’ve had twinges all night and so have had no sleep and you feel awful and so you’re going back to bed and turning phone off so you can sleep. Send that at 5.30am when you get up! Make sure you do turn the phone off then and do really go back to sleep. You won’t have this time again to stock up on sleep and rest, you owe it to yourself to get as much rest as possible. Later tomorrow tell her you feel much better for the rest so you are not available for anything now as you dearly need to rest.
She’s so unreasonable.

[Cantsayno]

No never walked off but will pick up say a charger wire for a keyboard remote thing for a kodi box and ask me if I have taken it from her house and ask me what it’s for and it’s like interrogation and if I answer all the questions correctly then If I show her I have bought it from amazon I get a response of ‘riiiight’. No sorry.

Yeah I’m shocked as well. I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to do anything for me when heavily pregnant. Like I say I don’t mind helping out when I can but if she could have it her way I’d be doing the nursery pick up and drop off, doing her weekly shop etc etc the most annoying thing is SHE makes ME feel like I’m being unreasonable because it’s such an easy task to complete, obviously easier for me as I drive and it takes me two minutes but she doesn’t stop to think that maybe I’m enjoying catching up on my programs, on my own. I love my dp dearly but I’m actually really enjoying time on my own and I don’t want to be stopping what I’m doing to go get some fags from the shop!

I had a rant to my mum about this and the response I got was she will take the piss if you let her so say no. I think my mum said something to her coz she stopped asking me for about a week. But I felt uncomfortable thinking I’d upset her, but she doesn’t give two hoots about upsetting me! Push over aren’t I!

Hoping I develop this backbone soon

[NoSquirrels]

No. Just say no.

OP, you are not bloody well obliged, at 39+ weeks pregnant or at any fucking time, to sort out transport for other people.

Say NO NO NO.

At 6am, when you have returned from taking your DP to work (which I also wouldn't be doing!) then send a text that says "I can't take you this morning, I have to go back to bed" and then SWITCH OFF YOUR PHONE. Go back to bed.

If she's too ill to face a bus journey to nursery then kid can stay home with her. It won't do them any harm, either of them!

[Dubbadubbadumdum]

You need to get feisty back, OP. She'll be dumping her kids on you "because you're home with the baby anyway" Cut her off at the knee's, tell her no means no. Get the rest of the family involved if needs be, get them to back you up "CF Sis is really stressing me out right now, I need to be able to concentrate on the baby, and she's harassing me to look after her kids so she can have a lazy day". Or tell her to fuck right off and turn off your phone and disconnect the doorbell, pretend you're out!

[TechnicalSergeantGarp]

"This is the last thing" don't do it.

Text now to say you can't do it. At the latest text at 5:30am when you drop your partner off to say you can't do it and you aren't up for visits.

Don't let feisty be your problem., She sounds horrible.

[tympanic]

And another thing. What if she passes her sickness onto you? She needs to stay away from you completely and look after her own affairs!

Who is this woman to you, OP? DS, SIL?

[Passthecherrycoke]

I’m at someone doing this to a woman a week away from giving birth

[AutumnCrow]

Older sister?

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

It never ceases to amaze me how many CF's there are out there. I don't know how they have the cheek. She needs to take her own child to nursery and you are heavily pregnant and need to rest.

[justilou1]

“I said no. I mean no. If you come around the answer will still be no. You sort yourself out.”

[Themazeoflife]

Just text back "No"

[DeathStare]

"My midwife has told me I need to rest and do nothing until the baby arrives"

[frazzledasarock]

What?! Has she ever walked off with your belongings claiming them to be hers?

Does she provide proof of purchase ?

Why are you even being civil to this nasty thieving user?

[TechnicalSergeantGarp]

You have to change.

"Oh well, hope you get sorted" might be a good response. Just send a text saying you can't help anymore and not to bother you. Don't say "at the moment" or "we'll see again after the baby is here" = no more.

After the running around you've been doing you are owed some support back, though I'm not sure I'd trust them to help.

[SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing]

I'd completely ignore, turn off your phone, and go to sleep. Fuck her.

[Cantsayno]

They nursery is a bus journey down and then back up so can see why it’s easier for me to hop in my car. Hope I go into labour tonight, that would really piss on her chips.

[Cantsayno]

Oh no that would be asking too much. Infact it wouldn’t it would be welcomed as she would be able to log onto my wifi, feed her child from my cupboards, heat herself and have a good old nosy through my belongings and ask me if I have taken said object from her house and then ask me to show proof of purchase 😂 and no I’m not joking! CF at its best!

[areyouafraidofthedark]

Just reply can't help sorry then turn your phone off.

[frazzledasarock]

If she can come round hammering at your front door demanding you take her child to nursery, she’s well enough to take the child to nursery herself.

I’d message. No I won’t be doing your nursery run. And that’s it.

[DelphiniumBlue]

Get in first! Text her early in the morning, saying you need help bring so close to D Day, and can she get your shopping in for you and help clean the house before the baby comes.

[Cantsayno]

Just sent it, reply was : this is the last thing

Yeah it will be when (with any luck) I’ll have a baby next week. Kicking myself for not sending it sooner! Arghhhhh

[MovinOnUp]

I would say doctor has you on bed rest until birth as you have been overdoing it lately.
Then ask her to go to the shop, Come round and tie your shoelaces and ......hmm what other things could you have her do for you?

In all seriousness though, You do need your rest and she is massively taking the piss.

[IdleBet]

She’s quite feisty so it will be an argument but I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. All I ever seem to do is complain to my partner about her bet he’s fed up of hearing it

Time to stand up for yourself. So what if she gets in a huff. Stop being a doormat.