Am I being mean or is it reasonable to find this frightening?

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I genuinely don't know if I'm being precious/mean here or if this is reasonable. Will try to explain the circumstances as fully as possible to avoid drip feeding.

I live alone in a flat I own. There are other flats in the same building and a communal hallway, with a door that is supposed to have a lock on it, but which is currently broken. My own flat has a lockable door obviously.

About three or four years ago there was a guy in one of the other flats who was a complete nightmare - ear-splitting music at all hours, people running up and down the stairs all night to buy drugs from him, vandalism, all sorts. I even had one of his friends making meowing noises through my letterbox once. Frankly, it scared the shit out of me, and when he was eventually evicted for not paying any rent, I couldn't have been more relieved.

Just recently, one of this guy's old friends has started wandering into the building at odd times and using the communal hallway to sleep in. He folds up my doormat and uses it as a pillow and everything! He is always pissed or stoned or something, he always brings tins of lager in with him and leaves remnants of food all over the carpet. The first time I discovered him, he mumbled something about how the nightmare neighbour had said he could crash there, but when I told him that he didn't live there any more, he did eventually leave. Fine. But this man is obviously homeless, because he keeps coming back. And on the latest occasion, he refused to leave and I ended up calling the police when he became verbally abusive towards me.

On the one hand, I felt mean because it was raining and he obviously didn't have anywhere else to go. I do empathise with that. But at the same time, I live on my own and I am frightened of this guy. When he's out there I can hear him muttering to himself on the other side of my door. I don't want to go out because I don't want him to know then that my flat is empty.

Technically, he isn't doing any harm, other than leaving a mess and scaring me. Obviously at some point I will have to get the lock fixed but I can't afford to at the moment. Do I overlook this on the basis that I am more fortunate than he is and he isn't taking anything from me by being there? I feel a bit like the residents of those posh flats with studded pavements outside designed to deter rough sleepers...

[DorisDaisyMay]

You are not responsible for him and his life choices. You responsibility is to yourself and your safety. Please do not to feel guilty over things you have no control over. He is an adult.

Sort the lock any way you can tomorrow.

Vote in your local elections as that is what you can do about influencing homeless policy in your area.

[Babdoc]

OP, when I was a student I lived in a slum tenement. The ground floor was derelict, and a vagrant used to break in there to sleep. He drank methanol and fell asleep with a lit cigarette and set our building on fire. Twice.
It’s all very well being sympathetic, but you are risking your own safety. He should take responsibility for his own life and go to a homeless shelter, or choose an unoccupied building to sleep in.

[Supersimkin2]

Get him out. He may well not be homeless (we had this in our block, and I work with the genuine homeless. Bloke let his friends in to steal and threaten the women residents. He had a rather nice flat two miles away, was too pissed to get there some nights.)

We had to have all the locks changed at £50 a head x 120 flats. The police were worse than useless. Finally there was a local row and the police were shamed into taking action, and a judge dished out an asbo and a bollocking to the pigs.

Call the police and don't stop calling them until they get rid. These people will only get worse.

[Supersimkin2]

What happened to us when we had a 'vagrant':

1. He shat in the lift.
2. Every morning.
3. Flashed at women, screamed abuse at women.
4. Let his mates in to steal and burgle flats when we'd gone to work.
5. Sold goods, went to pub, got too lashed to get home and pissed in the lift before falling asleep in the hall, when his own (v expensive inner London flat) was 2 miles away.
6. The one day he didn't shit, he set fire to the lift - with 2 kids in it. That family moved out.

Don't let your compassion put other people at risk. That's not kind.

[Miljea]

The landlord, how do you communicate with him? Hopefully more than verbally.

Contact him, if only to reiterate what you've already said: that he has agreed to change the locks tomorrow, and that if that doesn't happen, he can consider himself responsible for whatever this vagrant does.

[WorldEndingFire]

Would you not be better off contacting a homeless charity like St Mungo's in the first instance so that they can send a key worker out to him to assess his needs? You can do this via StreetLink here: www.mungos.org/homelessness/are-you-worried-about-someone-sleeping-rough/

An appalling lack of compassion and humanity from some people in this thread. This is a human being in need of shelter. Disgusting to fetishize property to the degree that it could be valued over another's humanity.

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

WorldEndingFire how insulting. I'm not fetishising property, I'm scared for my own safety. Do you think that people like the pp who experienced having a vagrant starting a fire in their building was primarily concerned with the damage to the property?

The homelessness provision in this area is actually not bad, comparatively speaking. I used to work in a related area and there is emergency and temporary housing available. The problem is that the shelters generally have a policy of not allowing people in who've been drinking or taking drugs. I suspect that's when this guy turns up at my place. As others have said, it's sad for him, but why should I have to be verbally abused and left to cower in my flat by this person I don't even know?

Anyway, I'll see if the locksmith turns up today and hopefully that'll be the end of it.

[HouseworkAvoider10]

WorldEndingFire Fri 15-Nov-19 23:23:01
An appalling lack of compassion and humanity from some people in this thread. This is a human being in need of shelter. Disgusting to fetishize property to the degree that it could be valued over another's humanity.

Yep, there it is. One of the usual nuts replies that comes out of the woodwork on here.

[Doingtheboxerbeat]

I regard myself as extremely compassionate towards the homeless and pretty fearless about my own personal safety, but I would not like this at all. Sorry if this makes me nimby, but it's not all about me is it? If my friends don't wish to visit me or if my DB won't allow my DN to stay at their auntie boxers because of the randoms who piss, get pissed, Jack up and sleep in the communal areas then how is that fair?

[WorldEndingFire]

@EoinMcLovesCakeJumper my comment wasn't directed at you or your worry, you've taken that upon yourself for some reason. Some of the responses on the thread, yes, not your initial concerns. Good luck finding a resolution and I hope this person gets help.