to expect PIL to treat all their GC the same way?

[cali]

Apologies in advance as this could turn out to be v. long!
Dh grew up in a family with his own sister and 2 stepbrothers. SM treated him differently and he spent a lot of time with other relatives when young. We have a DD aged 2 and due to have baby next week.
Used to live fairly close to them but never really saw them all that often, seemed to get on ok when we did.
Due to change in DH's work, we made the decision that I would move back home and settle in Scotland (DH in navy). DH said that his parents would love to have DD and I stay with them for a weekend every couple of months, when I asked they said no problems, would really like it. Less than 24hours later, DH's SM calls him up and says she was very concerned about MY suggestion as they wouldn't be able to go out and do the things they wanted and leave me in the house by myself!!! (I'm only 35)
She then would phone me up and go on and on about her other GC , (DH's stepbrothers kids = her "real" GC) and tell me how much they loved their Nana and how they wanted to spend lots of time with her.
DH told them at beginning of the year that we were expecting no 2, a few months later, she calls him to say that they would come up to see us and new baby at the beginning of Aug as they were going to go on holiday at the end of Aug. Had forgotten that baby wasn't due till nearly end of Aug.
Now not coming up at all which has hurt DH, as previously they had emailed us pictures of her holding her other GC when they were less than an hour old - had been waiting at hospital for birth.
Realise that they do stay 400 miles away but they have forgotten DD's birthday, never seem to want to have any contact with her but when DH speaks to them, tell him all about what they have done/bought for other 2.
Feel they are missing out on having contact with DD but I did try, now feeling like never want them to see her or new baby!
Could just be all pregnancy hormones but......
Sorry again for length of thread but would love to hear from others and if anyone has any advice?

[cali]

hi devonsmummy, bp was fine 120/60 so must have calmed down before appt