Uncomfortable friend?

[PurpleFrames]

Hello,

Advice wanted about a newish friend. Known her for about a year during which I have been some difficult times and she has been supportive. I have a mental illness and been in hospital, she picked up clothes from my house for me once for example.

However a lot of the time she makes me feel uncomfortable. Leaving long silences. Says she does not like pointless chit chat and refuses to say what she does for a job, her hobbies, her family life etc.

I don't mean to be nosy but it is hard to have a friendship with someone so closed off. I am never sure if I have done something wrong or if she's like this in general.

Should I say something? If so what?
It makes me so uneasy I get anxiety when I know she's coming round. Which isn't often as she doesn't like messaging so will just announce she's nearby that am/pm so do I want her to come round...

(I am reasonably new to Mumsnet so be kind)

[Kallyderon]

Blimey so you're already working. Good job then and fuck the charity shop idea off. Really that's great.

And you know what, I reckon you're doing better than you think. You've had loads negative experiences but you're employed, you've figured out that something isn't right about this woman, you've shared your thoughts, asked for advice and you're going to take action. This is all really positive.

[Redshoeblueshoe]

Kelly is spot on.
It sounds like you are doing well. Trust your instincts

[Redshoeblueshoe]

Sorry Kally autocorrect incorrectly corrected it

[Thesuzle]

She’s in a witness protection programme

[Karabair]

"she said how we can't dwell on bad things and we get what we attract"

She's horrible! Run away! Run away!

Seriously are you having any kind of fun with this "friend"? Friends are often the people we have fun with. You sound like you deserve some fun.

[Blueshadow]

I think you are coping with enough without this person in your life. Take extra care of your lovely self.

[Katiegeorgia1979]

Alarm bells ringing here. Avoid this person like the plague. Your gut instinct is telling you it's not right so listen to it and cut this person out of your life!

[Lizzie0869]

You know, friends should be people we enjoy being with, and who enrich our lives. Not people who make us anxious, or who only really look out for themselves.

I'm speaking as someone who has struggled with MH issues, in my case PTSD as a result of childhood SA. I had a supposedly best friend who guilt tripped me into lending her a large sum of money (thankfully DH and I could afford it). She never paid me back and we've lost touch now, it's better that way looking back, as she wasn't who I thought she was.

[Alisonm23]

Please protect yourself from this friendship she sounds totally unhinged.

[Lowlandlucky]

Get rid of her and whilst you are at it change your locks as she has had your keys. It be might be a good idea in future not to give your keys to strangers

[Notajogger]

Sounds all very odd and she doesn't sound like a nice person, and certainly not a friend!

Volunteering is a good idea to meet some different people, doing 2 1/2 days work and maybe a morning/few hours volunteering sounds like a good start to making changes. There are volunteer centres dotted around in lots of places where you can go and they can tell you about opportunities locally - if the thought of a charity shop makes you anxious there will be other opportunities. Good luck OP

[MulticolourMophead]

She doesn't sound nice at all, and her actions and views come across as abusive. Keys were mentioned, if she has those, then change the locks. I wouldn't trust her.