‘My husband’s hobby’

[DNAshelicase]

Blah blah ‘my husbands hobby’ or ‘special interest’, they’re always ‘heavily involved in’ or ‘invests a lot of time and money in his hobby’

It’s cycling. It’s fucking CYCLING and more specifically its cycling at bedtime/bath time. Can we all agree that there is no need to be a tease and it’s not even slightly ‘outing’ your husband is one of millions across the country with a beer belly and a Lycra drawer.

YANBU: It’s always cycling

YABU: No, my husband does something even more tragic like tail transport modelling, or pigeon fancying

[FreedomBird]

In my case it was always fucking golf

[RitmoRatmo]

This exact thread was on here about 3 weeks ago. It’s getting really tedious.

FWIW, I also think it’s subtly sexist. Plenty of us MN-ers are cyclists. I’m lucky, my DP doesn’t think I’m a “selfish arsehole cyclist” because he too is one.

[TooManyPaws]

Whenever I see MAMILS I think of John Bishop on how he was sent to get his 'undercarriage' waxed when he was going his charity ride. Cue kneeling on all fours on a couch without his undercrackers and a woman sucking her teeth like a workman.

[MrsElf]

On here it’s usually cycling. I wish DH do something(, but we have no DC).
I have hobbies, and I’m sure DH takes it personally - he is a non-hobby person, whereas I am rarely at home while I’m awake, and when I am I am usually busy“ignoring him”.

[ConFusion360]

My DH doesn't really have a hobby. He has wide variety of interests but no one thing that he spends most of his free time doing.

He has got a bike (£25 off Ebay) but he is a bike clips and baggy trousers type of cyclist.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Souwest
How about at home doing their fair share?

[blackteaplease]

Dh cycles to work and occasionally at the weekend as well as playing hockey but life is pretty even in our house now. I'm the bedtime dodger in our house heading out to my hobbies twice a week and missing a third bedtime for the younger 2 ferrying dd to her hobby.

Although I do feel your pain @Applehead. Dh did a full iron man when I was pregnant with dc3. I didn't see him for months! He sticks to sprint distance now.

[JennyBlueWren]

DH's hobby is cycling and modelling. Both expensive and time consuming but one in and one out of the house.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

My ex was obsessive about brewing his own beer....

Hmmm, did he live in Norfolk and have his own radio show - and was he a bit condescending to Geordies?

[IfNot]

Would you rather we was at a gym oggling teenage girls in lycra?
Are those the only options? Cycling or ogling girls? Cant I choose a third option?

[weehoo]

@itsasmallwordafterall it's a Weehoo Igo - you can get single or double and although they cost s fair bit, we picked one up cheaply on EBay. DD2 can cycle well now but it's great for longer journeys as the kids can sleep, eat etc and the front passenger can pedal too and they can't reach to fight each other

One day we'll attach it to our tandem 😂

[AppleHEAD]

I win this because it’s Triathlon. Full distance Ironman. So if he’s not cycling he’s running or swimming or travelling to events.
Every time I hear of someone competing in a mega marathon or Ironman I think of the poor wife or husband whose looked after the kids alone while they train.
It’s selfish and a pain in the arse.

[Boireannachlaidir]

The trouble with these tedious hobbies is when your husband is out again and you realise that actually it's so much nicer without him in the house and you'd really like to make that permanent.

I think that's possibly quite true for a fair amount of people I know now @madcatladyforever

[Boireannachlaidir]

We're the internet, you can lie to us.

@dudsville

Brilliant I agree why don't they just make up something innocuous that gets the point across!

This thread is

My DH (and DTwins) is into model railways. He hates cyclists/cycling.

[itsasmallwordafterall]

@weehoo Omg, that's fantastic! Where do you buy a contraption like that?

[Souwest]

Would you rather we was at a gym oggling teenage girls in lycra?

[ChilledBee]

I think people need to move away from the idea that people will respond in identical ways and focus more on finding people who want the same things as you do and share your values. I knew from before having kids that my hubby didn't like the idea of not seeing his kids very much or leaving it all to the woman. He'd seen his mother toil that way because of cultural expectations and didn't want that for his partner. He was unrealistic about how much he would be doing but generally, he puts the family duties before other things and while there may be minor hiccups, I trust that that his head and his heart are in the same place that I am. So if he drastically fucks up in some way related to priorities/time management, I know it was a mistake and not deliberate selfishness.

[flabbergastedatthat]

At what stage is it reasonable to shout stop when these men go to so many lengths to avoid family life? Have any of you split because he literally avoided his family during his free time , which was limited in the first place and left the rearing of children and the grunt work , totally to you even when
You worked full time???

[GettingABitDesperateNow]

I don't really care what their hobby is though...its not really relevant to the OPs issue and sometimes the more detail the OP puts in, the more people pick on that rather than the actual issue (eg 'why is he cycling around there, it's a rubbish area for cycling' rather than 'he shouldn't be leaving you on your own with the kids 6 evenings out of 7')

[lazylinguist]

MNer: My husband is out for hours at his hobby all the time and leaves me to fo all the housework and childcare.

Normal posters: That's crap - he needs to be around and help more. Tell him to sort himself out!

Weirdo posters: Aaarrrgh!!! What's the hobby?! Why don't you just say what the hobby is??!! It won't be outing!! We need to know!!!

HTH

[weehoo]

DP is fairly preoccupied with cycling. However, we have a contraption which allows him to act out his mid life crisis and look after the kids at the same time. And better still, it means he can burn a fuckton of calories in half the time thanks to the extra load 👍

[isseywithcats]

My OHs is motorcycling but i dont mind because theres room for me on the back of a motorbike but yes he does spend an arm and a leg on custom bits for it dream pic attached for him this was in austria and we went from uk on bike and back

[mawbroon]

Last weekend I saw a lycra clad bloke cycling on a steep country road, but he was towing one of those enclosed trailers with a toddler in it.

It was probably a MNetter who had come up with the genius idea.

Sure! Off you go cycling, you won't mind taking the kid along too. Extra training for you dear. Go out for as long as you want 🤣🤣

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

It’s not the hobby it’s the fact that the hobby takes priority over the family and that their partner doesn’t get the same consideration or choice.

So cycling, golf, ninja needlework - irrelevant
Absent half of the weekend and spending 10% of the family budget - relevant

And no, most hobbies are not outing

[madcatladyforever]

The trouble with these tedious hobbies is when your husband is out again and you realise that actually it's so much nicer without him in the house and you'd really like to make that permanent.